FLORIDA BAR – February, 2020

You would think that I would feel super confident and formulaic about the “bar” seeing as this is my third bar (first bar GA and second bar MO), but NOPE. Every. Single. Time. It always feels like a crapshoot, and similar to throwing darts in the dark.

Ugh. I wish I could tell you that my method helped me feel safe and I feel like I passed, but I’m not going to find out until April 13 after 2pm ET. ugh. ugh. ugh.

While everything is fresh in my head, I thought I would write a post about my experience, so I could share the wealth and so I could help you prevent the same mistakes I made (especially if you are studying for the bar while working).

AdaptiBar. I decided to use Adaptibar for my prep. My company was generous to cover my bar prep and bar exam fees, so I could have gone with Barbri, but when I took Barbri’s attorney course for the UBE (for Missouri), I found myself not doing anything of the lesson’s and basically using the question bank. I did do a few of the essays (I’ll get into this later), but my primary focus was doing questions. I couldn’t get myself to “waste” that much amount of money (even though I wasn’t paying for it), on something I felt like I wasn’t going to use. I heard friends say good things about Adaptibar, so I took the plunge and got the videos, questions and flashcards.

AdaptiBar Videos. AMAZING. If you’re in law school, I highly recommend getting the videos for Adaptibar, Professor Grossman is awesome at explaining things, and compared to Kaplan and Barbri his videos make sense and he has little cheat on how to understand things – I would highly recommend his videos.

Questions. I did a total of 1,871 questions, and I did 1,654 novel questions. Basically I did an extra 200+ questions over again. My overall average was 63.8%.

AdaptiBar Flashcards. I didn’t use this, and I wish I didn’t purchase them.

My own flashcards. The best way to do “Flashcards” are to do make them yourself. Every wrong or right question, I made a flashcard if it had information in the “explanation” that I didn’t know of or wanted to remember. Writing things down along with “catchy” phrases or mnemonics. For example the felonies for felony murder sort of look like the President Obama’s first name “BARRK” okay in reality it looks like “barrk” but Obama is what came to me first – so I stuck with it and I never forgot it! So it was a win!

DELETING DISTRACTIONS. THIS IS THE HARDEST STEP BEFORE BAR PREP, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DELETE THE DISTRACTIONS. Look at your iPhone or smart phones screen time thing, is there an app that you’re on a lot? For me it was Instagram. Guess what – I deleted it. Instagram wasn’t going to help me pass the bar exam, instead it was going to distract and remind me about how depressing my life was while Joe was on on the beach or while Cindy was in Hawaii, or while Monica was in France. YES. You are going to have to delete it. It is a distraction and it will make studying HARDER. To make it EASIER, just delete the damn app and if you want to use Instagram, then go on it USING YOUR desktop, and ONLY LET YOURSELF check it once a day. The point of deleting it is so that you don’t waste your time and instead of wasting time on Instagram you can waste your time on Adaptibar! If there is another app you use a lot like TikTok, Facebook or Twitter, then just delete it and reminder yourself post bar you can indulge. The first few days will be hard, but after 4 days one week you’ll be like – I don’t even understand why people are so obsessed with it?!?! LOL.

Bar Prep while working. I started Bar prep in December. What this really means is I start to watch the videos here and there. My goal was to do 30 questions a day. Sometimes I did 15, sometimes (like once a week) I did none, but most other days did between 20-30 questions. In January I got really serious and was more strict about it. I would wake up around 6:15-6:30, drink coffee, and do questions, review explanations to the questions, review my homemade flashcards or watch bar videos. By 7:30 I would stop and shower and start getting ready for work. Semi -often, but not regularly, I would walk around this beautiful lake by my work and listen to bar videos on my phone during my lunch break, or listen to the videos on my commute to work or back from work. I would watch bar videos while I got ready for bed, cleaned my clothes or did other mundane tasks. Every single time I watched them I learned something new and I processed something a little better. So repeatedly watching them was something that was super useful!

What I wish I actually did. I wish I religiously did 40 questions a day. Looking back it was totally doable, and I think 30 wasn’t enough. Or maybe 30 on the workdays and 50 on the weekends? I needed to just do a few more everyday. I will tell you that I finished the MBE portion of the exam with 10 minutes to spare with a 6 minute bathroom break after I had done 50 questions in the AM session and in the PM session, so I was right on track with time!

Ben F. From work and the FL Bar Website. So my work was very supportive of me taking the bar. I was blessed who had a coworker who gave me his old Kaplan bar notes. THIS WAS A LIFE SAVER because I HAD NO FLORIDA SPECIFIC MATERIALS. I did buy a Florida Themis book 2nd hand, but I was missing like half of the subjects that were tests….so um yeah. Ben’s Kaplan notes were BOMB, and it was how I learned FL Crim Pro and FL Civ Pro. Luckily the Themis book I had included Secured Transactions (but not Article 3), Wills, Trusts, and family law AND FL distinctions for: Real Estate, Torts, Contracts and Evidence. Sort of hodgepodge of stuff, but hey – it was done. I did a SUPER BAD JOB studying the FL specific stuff, and the FL multiple choice was hard (if I don’t pass – lets say I have a feeling the FL section probably did me under), but a week before the test I got serious about learning Florida law (by serious I mean I panicked and cried and had really get my sh*t together). I reviewed at least 6 Florida study guides and try to come up with a common thread with respect to questions asked for each topic and wrong down the sample answers in a notebook (just the rules). LOOK OVER ALL OF THE FLORIDA ESSAYS work your way through them and write down the rules that you learn – this will be so helpful and valuable and also look at your own study materials (Barbri books) and clean up the “rule” the essays in the study guides are obviously a good start, but if you have more time, I would polish them a bit more. Treat it like an open book essay. For the FL specific questions, you just need to know the law cold. No trick questions, you just need to know it.

Professional Responsibility is always part of an essay question & Other Essay Hacks. There isn’t much more to say. I also have a feeling that more likely than not a FL Con Law, a Fed Con Law, Contracts and Torts are essay questions tested every time or every other time. Secured Transactions seems like a hard subject to get an essay on, but here is the thing in real life they ask the same sort of question, so just look at the model essay for the UCC question and see what the UCC Questions look like and you’ll be golden!

I took off the week before the exam and the day after the exam and you should too. I took off the week before the exam, so that I could hunker down and study. I mean I literally woke up, drank coffee, watch one 20 minute show and got to work until lunch, then watched another 20 minute show then got back to work until my husband came home and then ate something and at 7pm got back to work until 9:30. It was intense. It was not fun. But needed to be done. I took the day off after the Bar, because when you get back home you’re BRAIN DEAD, and there is always weird traffic and weather when you leave, so just do yourself a favor and take the day off after the Bar.

BAR EXAM. So I stayed at the Embassy Suites. It is connected to the Tampa Convention Center. I prepaid for parking with my reservation. BOOK SUPER FAR IN ADVANCE. I think I got my room for like $400 a night. That is EXPENSIVE YOU GUYS so book ahead! There are a few other hotels in the area like a Marriott (you can walk to the convention center from there) and some people stayed in Air BnBs (& uber-ed over). Parking was $30 a night or $50? I can’t remember. My hotel included breakfast and they had a “cocktail hour” with veggies and chips as appetizers. There are a few restaurants (like actual restaurants and not quick pick up food joints) in the area. SO FOR THE BAR PACK YOUR LUNCH BUYING LUNCH IS A BAD IDEA. Everyone rushed over to the starbucks at the embassy suites and the options weren’t that great – so trust me. do yourself a favor and pack a lunch! Also bring flashcards with you, a Bar study book or some notes. You’ll have downtime before actually checking in or during lunch and you can review your materials.

What you can bring to the EXAM. The FL Bar Examiners don’t let you bring anything into the exam room except: (1) ID (drivers license is fine), (2) ear plugs, (3) car keys OR a room key, & (4) a credit card or cash for lunch (no pencils, erasers, feminine hygiene products are allowed – there are pads/tampons stocked in the bathrooms in the testing room). All other times need to be stored in a room that they have in the convention center. There are security guards everywhere in the convention center, but that being said, there is still a sign that says if anything happens to your stuff during the exam, the FL BAR and the Convention Center are not responsible.

PARKING. I prepaid for parking, but on Tuesday morning the valet guy said if I wanted to leave my car at the Embassy Suites they would charge me another $20.00. This was annoying….because um hello I prepaid for parking. He did say that I could move my car across the street for $10.00 a day parking, but at the time it seemed like I should just leave it at the embassy suites to avoid the hassle and stress. so in real life, I should have just moved my car because when the test ended all 1,000 test takers staying at the hotel all tried to leave around the same time and the line was HUGE to get your car, like it took me 45 minutes to probably just get my car post test. Annoying.

Now that I’m done I feel relieved. I’m so freaking nervous about seeing my exam results, but I am relieved that it is over and that I can have my “life” back and first thing I’m going to do is veg out and watch tv and then just go to the gym! I really want to cook more and be healthier – wish me luck!

I hope you do well on the Florida Bar – thinking of you and sending you so many positive vibes. Pray that I pass please – it would mean the world to me!!

Love always – Maheen.

P.S. on 4/13/2020: I found out I passed. I scored a 139 on part A and a 148 on part B. I hope my advice helps and brings you peace. I’m sure I’ve said this somewhere in this post, but I’m not one of those “naturally” smart people. I have to work hard for everything. It is exhausting, but my dad always says, put in the work and pray – leave the rest to God. This advice has always lead me to have a certain peace and stillness in my heart, when things don’t work out the way that I wanted them to. When I initially opened up the PDF this morning the first thing I did was pray. Regardless of what I would out, which I prayed would be a “pass”, I also told God, that I hope he gave the the strength to “fail” gracefully and have peace with it and I also thanked him for the immeasurable blessings in my life from my husband, to my parents to my in laws, friends, family and coworkers. No one in my life has suffered from coronavirus, everyone is still employed and we all felt safe in this strange new season in our lives. I felt truly blessed and grateful for every single thing. When I found out I passed, I double, triple checked the line. Did I mess up? There was a fail above me and below me. So, a lot of double checking occurred. Then when I opened up the portal and saw my scores, it felt so real. Thank you to my husband who held it down at home while I studied after work, thank you to my work for giving me 2 weeks off and being so generous about covering such an expensive test, and thank you to Ben for giving me his slides (which if i didn’t have would have lead to definitely failing part A). I hope all of my advice is helpful. I am here for every single one of you, and understand what it feels like when someone says ” You’ll do fine!” “You’ve done this before, you’ll definitely pass”. There are no guarantees and this test is SO HARD! I hope I never have to take another bar exam!

When I Grow Up

Figuring out what you are going to do with the rest of your life is SO SCARY. Never knowing if what you are doing is right or wrong, or if you are fulfilling your purpose or calling is troubling and, frankly, so freaking frustrating.

I wish I could create something to ease this burden on people.

Like all people, I want to make a name for myself & be someone. I am BOLD. I am [somewhat] DARING. I am NOTICEABLE. These are my strengths. When attention naturally falls on me I relish in it and crave it. I can tell I feel the most alive in front of people- mingling and smiling. Mixing with new people gives me a fresh sense of energy. Getting to know what someone does/did, and learning their story was something that constantly inspires me and something I actively search for, whether through rubbing elbows with people, messaging random people on LinkedIn, or just downloading an audiobook. So far the takeaway from all of it is:

(1) have faith, (2) work hard & (3) DREAM BIG.

For me, the first two are relatively easy when compared to the the last item on the list.

Dreaming Big, doesn’t just mean about dreaming about the tangible things you want, but it means dreaming about the type of success your going to taste through working hard.

What is your idea? How are you going to revolutionize something? What corporate ladder will you climb? Where do you want to go? How will you get there?

The dreaming is in the details. For example, for the Conrad Hilton (you know- the guy who started the HILTON EMPIRE), dreaming big meant starting a hotel, then growing from one hotel to two hotels. Then his dreams became bigger, it meant, not just owning hotels domestically, but owning them internationally, owning the best hotels in key locations. After he accomplished this, his next dream was to provide shares of a successful chain to people within his corporation who deserved it, and to reward those who were loyal and worked hard. If he had lived longer, he had dreamed of opening a hotel on the moon (once travel to and from there was a “thing”). All of this required DREAMING. Although he may have dreamed of obtaining tangible items on his path to success, these dreams were about how he could be successful, what that meant, and the tangible goods followed.

Your turn. What are you doing to inspire yourself? What are you doing to “dream”? Sometimes I think I am exactly where I am supposed to be – because although I struggle with “dreaming”, I believe in God and the power of prayer, and I understand hard work. These qualities, combined with someone else’s dreams, allow me to help them achieve great success, which makes me happy, because I love hearing about and seeing people succeed, and maybe my journey is just that, being able to bring to life the dreams of others? WE SHALL SEE.

The American Dream

My parents moved to America to provide a life for my siblings and me that they believe was truly superior than the life they had known. The religious unrest in India against Muslims is real. I mean, even now, the hurdles muslims must jump through to visit india because they are muslim is SO REAL.

Of course, there are bad people on both sides of the spectrum, but I 100% believe that innocent people get mangled in other peoples agendas and their lives inevitably change because of the atrocities that occur. For my parents, the cost entailed encountering the deaths of close loved ones. Can you imagine losing a mother and sisters due to this sort of unrest – I can’t – but it causes me extreme sadness to think my dad personally can.

With that said, he decided that he would seek out a better life for his family is this new promising country. So he came here, lived frugally, studied hard, sent what little he had back home, until he was done with grad school. Got a job, and then legally moved his family to America. I was born shortly after my family’s “great migration”.

His dream for his children, was to have well to do children and live a comfortable life. He has achieved some version of this, but it got me thinking, what is MY AMERICAN DREAM.

After taking a three month sabbatical (i.e. I quit my job and was unemployed for about 3 months), I had a lot of time to read, think and dream. I decided that my version of the American Dream is to elevate my level of comfort for myself and my kids and it’s to just be more “present” when life happens. I never realized this, but after “dreaming” I realized that I am living a version of my own American Dream. The other day I got off of work at a reasonable time, headed home and then headed to dinner with my parents. We ate outside and enjoyed the weather. Every one was healthy, we were celebrating my mom’s birthday, and I grabbed the check. Being able to treat my family and being able to celebrate occasions with my family is my version of the American Dream (this is the bare bones version of it at least).

My point in bringing all of this up is, by realizing this, I realized how thankful I am for the sacrifices my dad made, and how blessed I am to have the opportunities that I have – and I am able to appreciate all of this, by just pausing and “smelling the roses”. What is your version of the American Dream? I would absolutely love to know :).

THIS IS 30.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I thought that by the time I was thirty I was going to just bleed fabulous. Multiple Chanel bags, a Ferrari (or at least a luxury car), my own house (exquisite yard with pool and guest house), a career that I was just a beast in (FYI this “career” was super flexible & fun and paid me a ton of money), a wonderful husband, a size 2, and if I had kids a day time nanny and night nurse.

OKAY THE REALITY IS (can I get a pencil drum roll people)… I am not a size 2, I own zero luxury bags, I currently live at home with my parents, I am currently pushing a Thrifty rental car, my career is good (but constantly still learning, falling and getting back up) and the thought of kids is scary (even though I know my biological clock is ticking). I DID GET THE WONDERFUL HUSBAND. Thank God.

After reflecting on all of these things I thought I would have has indicators of success checked off my list by my 30th birthday, I realized that these weren’t accurate indicators for my success. I mean how many screwed up rich kids do you know that have all of these things? My point being, real indicators of success at the age of 30 just look so different. Well this is the case for me at least.

LUXURY GOODS. I realized that all though I did not have the multiple Chanel bags, I have paid off over $100,000.00 of my student loans within 4 years. WOW. I’m going to just give myself a pat on the back.

WORK. I persevered and did not quit when I was working a job that frankly was not a good fit for me. I am thankful that I am/was wise enough to understand how fortunate I was to have that job, since I learned so much about practicing law there and obtained a new level of organization that being a great real estate attorney really requires. Also, I did meet a few wonderful people along the way that I plan to stay in touch with for the remainder of my career! Also, I’m at this point in my career, where I’m comfortable not knowing things, it’s not as scary. I have some ways to go before I am super confident, but hey -it’s why I am an associate and NOT a partner yet!

LOVE. I married the guy that I love, who also happens to be an amazing fit for me. Seriously, this could have gone south. Fortunately, all of the pieces just came together and everything was so easy. I am forever indebted to God and the friends that set us up! Getting married to my husband was the best decision for my life from a romantic and spiritual standpoint. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I pray that it continues to bring my husband and I closer together and that we continue to support each other and motivate each other to excel in our faith, personal lives and careers.

FAMILY & FRIENDS. This is a weird one and not really something that I could have done, but I am thankful for my family and friends. Obviously, as you get older some people enter stage right and exit stage left. For the ones still on the stage, I am forever grateful and thankful. I am thankful that you are prospering, that you’re healthy and for the most part (besides having to occasionally slave away at work) you’re so happy and blessed! No one is having to skip meals because they are broke, and everyone is able to enjoy the finer things in life (what ever that may mean to them)!

THE CAR & HOME. Okay this goes with the first bullet point I made, but paying off my student loan is a priority for me. So waiting on getting my dream car and the house is fine. I have so many wonderful years ahead to snag these items. Even though I CURRENTLY live at home (which by the way, I low key love) I live in a pretty nice high-rise in Houston and I am so fortunate that I get to live there for a year! Saqib and I also share a car in Houston. I thought it would be tough, but it’s really not. Occasionally, I get to pick him up from work, and I love seeing him run out of the building and flail his arms! Also, sharing a car reminds me how fortunate I am to have married a guy that just goes with the flow.

Size 2. Okay I am not a size 2. More like a 4 or 6. I am super into it and own it. I’ll always want to lose a few pounds, it’s just the nature of being a girl. I’m just so THANKFUL my career involves my brain and not my looks. The older I get the more valuable I become professionally because of my brain – which is so much less stressful than being in a career or industry where as you age you become less valuable or attractive to future clients / employers.

KIDS. I mean I still feel like a kid. I know I want kids, I just don’t currently have baby fever. I think that this is normal and one day when the time is right or if I accidentally just get pregnant it will be fine and everything will be wonderful since I have a great network of family and friends 🙂 .

I know the next ten years will have many ups and downs. I just need to remind myself that the ups eventually come and even in tough times remember to breath and be kind. J

OKAY SO THIS IS THIRTY. EXCITED ABOUT ALL OF THE FUN STUFF AHEAD GUYS. By the time I am forty I better have well behaved children, a yacht, a subscription service to fly private, and be featured on a few “magazines” or have a few publications praising my accomplishments in something! Also, I’d like to own numerous houses EVERYWHERE and enjoy this all while drinking Diet Coke with my handsome sweet world renown mohs surgeon husband. Inshallah. I pray that I will continue to have deeper and more meaningful relationships with my family and friends (who by the way are still healthy, happy and living large). DREAM BIG OR GO HOME. Am I right?

LOVE ALWAYS MAHEEN.

It’s My Wedding & I Can Cry If I Want To.

The title does not really have much to do with my article, but for some reason the song is playing in my head, so I thought I would make a catchy title out of it.

Do most brides even cry? I did not cry, except for like the two seconds my dad came up and spoke some incoherent words, when mashed up together basically implied, “I did not get to see my first two children grow up, because when they were babies I had an opportunity to come to America to pursue a better life for my family. So after 8 years a part, when I was finally able to bring them to this country, I had my love child [Maheen] with my cute wife. I knew I would get a chance to do things the right way and really be the best father I could be – and I am thankful for her for giving me that opportunity.”

OKAY YOU GUYS. I’m not a 100% SURE HE SAID, or even vaguely implied the thankful part, but I know he holds my childhood close to his heart. We went to Sea World and Chuck E. Cheese every single weekend – I mean I would have to be a dumb girl to NOT love my childhood. Did I mention he took me to Burger King and McDonald’s and would sit with me at the table, and just talk to me about my “life”.

I was between the ages of 3-7 years old. My life revolved around my cat, toys and cartoons. Thank you for listening to me Pappa!

OKAY THIS IS TURNING INTO A FATHER’S DAY POST, WHEN THAT’S NOT THE INTENT. The intent of this post is how when you are getting married so many people feel like it’s “MY DAY” and I wanted to remind everyone, it is “your day”, but it is also your parents day, and, by proxy, your in-laws day too!

By recognizing that the day is shared, I think you can better understand why it is important for others to have a say, and why it is important to just be “chill” and “cooperative”.

Marriage for me was about me becoming a part of my husband’s family, and my husband becoming a part of my family. I have been blessed to have parents on both sides that understand this, and support this concept.

SO NOW- THE KICKER: THINGS DURING THE WEDDING PLANNING PROCESS AND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY ARE NOT GOING TO GO YOUR WAY. CALM DOWN. THINK ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE. BE CHILL.

Your wedding day is ONE DAY. Although, I do believe it should be a memorable day in the best of ways, I also VEHEMENTLY believe it should not be the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. You have another (inshAllah) 50-70 years on this earth, this is one event, that will occur on one day for approximately 4 hours, which amounts to 240 minutes. Each minute will fly by and the event will end, however the relationships formed will last a lifetime.

By remembering how fleeting your wedding day is and how permanent the relationships are, I feel like you will tread carefully when “bickering” or getting “mad” – because at the end of the day you want to make sure that YOU are the type of person that values a relationship, more than you value any color scheme or center piece. If you are not that type of person, then you really need to evaluate “who” you are and “what” really matters – and understand that if you cannot compromise on something as simple as a center piece, then you probably should not be getting married.

So when you are planning, think about 10 -15 things on your SUPER HARD TO COMPROMISE LIST. After figuring out what those things are it’ll be easier to be “flexible” on the other items, since you’ll know that when you first started the process you didn’t really care about all the other stuff, and if your mom or mother in law really wants a certain arrangement or wants to work with a certain planner you’ll be fine and thankful that they got that detail covered!

The most important advice that I can give anyone planning a wedding is be open about your budget and respect your budget – do not be embarrassed about it. Anyone who makes you feel weird about your budget is either (i) immature, or (ii) should not be invited to your wedding. If there is something you REALLY WANT, I promise you can make it fit it into your budget if you get creative, or cut out dumb stuff. Lastly, there are better things to get a loan for— like for starters: a home, higher education, or saving that line of credit just in case you really need it in the future. Using it on your wedding is not a good look (and really low brow).

I would love to answer any all questions you may have – feel free to ask below! Also, I will be sharing this post on THE SHAADI SHOP’S BLOG. If you haven’t already, please follow The Shaadi Shop on Instagram at – https://www.instagram.com/theshaadishop/ !

Happy New Year!

I have never really been into the new year. I never saw it as an opportunity to “change” I honestly just saw it as another day, but this year feels different. So very, very different.

Maybe because I am married? Maybe because I am realizing “THIS IS MY LIFE”, if I want to see changes in it, then I must change. I also want to make sure that if my time on this world goes by a little faster than expected (i.e. I die), that I was trying to better myself, and was proud of where I was going and how I was transforming.

I actually feel this strong obligation to make sure I am improving myself as a person. So I want to have seven themed goals, and every day of the week (Inshallah), I want to act on one of the themes. So what are my themes for each day:

On Mondays I want to act Intentionally.

On Tuesdays I want to make sure I have done just one act of Kindness.

On Wednesdays I want to make sure I am being kind to my Body.

On Thursdays I want to Connect with a friend.

On Fridays I want to make sure I make my husband feel Special.

On Saturdays I want to get Organized.

On Sundays I want to do an act of Rest and Recharge spiritually.

In an ideal world I am able to act on all of my goals EVERY SINGLE DAY, but like all things in life, you have to start off slowly. So for me, making sure that I follow through with JUST one themed goal on any of the given day, is easy and from there, hopefully, incorporating the other goals will be effortless. I recently heard a beauty guru say something that I absolutely loved – she said, she just wants to compare herself to who she was yesterday and make sure she is improving herself to her yesterday self. #YasminKavari

I can do that – that is easy.

My theme for the year is my Monday theme – which is to “act intentionally“.

My professional goal this year is to be “detail oriented“.

Over the new few weeks, I’ll share about what each of the above mentioned themes mean to me, however in the meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear what your themes are for the new year!

Lots of love, light and happiness.

Quick Leasing Advice, Sophisticated Deal Terms: EXCLUSIVE USE PROVISION

My name is Maheen Akhter. I love what I do, and I would love to bill you for it, but prior to doing ANY of that, I just want to equip you with knowledge, so you can ask for the right things, know what is going on, understand the traps, and JUST DELETE THE NONSENSE.

Have you ever wondered why when there is a new Starbucks in a plaza, no other coffee shops seem to be near? or how if a Starbucks does come near an old coffee shop in a plaza, no new coffee shops ever enter that plaza after a Starbucks appears? Well it’s because there is an exclusive use provision has been added to the lease. Such provisions generally reads like this:

“Exclusive Use. To induce Tenant to execute this Lease, and subject to all of the terms and provisions of this Section, Landlord covenants and agrees that neither Landlord nor any affiliate of Landlord shall lease or rent any premises in the buildings known as West Ferry Plaza, generally located at [provide address] to any new tenant (including, without limitation, any assignee, sublessee, licensee or other occupant of such new tenant) that operates a Competing Business (as hereinafter defined) without Tenant’s prior written consent, which consent may be withheld in Tenant’s sole and absolute discretion. “

In an ideal world you can define “COMPETING BUSINESS” to mean any business that is primarily in the business of selling coffee, so you are not excluding grocery stores, or other stores that are not directly competing with you & actually funnel customers your way. In order to effectively make sure you are excluding the right type of businesses, you may consider saying something like, “obtains 50% of its revenue from coffee sales.” You also may use these sorts of modifications to strike a deal with your potential landlord as well.

What if you have an exclusive use clause in your lease, but it’s vague? The general rule in some states requires that language of exclusive–use clauses should be narrowly construed, and all doubts should be resolved against a possible construction that would increase the restriction upon the use of real estate.

What if the Landlord breaches the “Exclusive Use” provision?

Option to terminate the lease, and receive damages (maybe you and the Landlord prenegotiate what these damages look like?)
Option to terminate and receive a refund all monies spent on Tenant Improvements, along with the cost to relocate, and any fees paid by the tenant to a broker to find a new space.

I will tell you this-if your ONLY REMEDY is to terminate the lease, courts usually feel like that is not a true remedy. Terminating the lease and giving up your business location and the investments made in improvements would not provide any benefit or remedy to you. You could argue that the remedies clause is unenforceable because it fails its essential purpose. A similar argument was made in Simon Prop. Grp., L.P. v. Kill, 2010-Ohio-1492, 47, and the court sided with the Tenant.

I am trying really hard not to ramble, so that you’re some what interested in using this clause in the next lease you enter into. I know, I use “coffee shop” as my example, but this is an excellent provision to have in ALL leases, including medical spaces, book stores (ha- is that even a thing?), sandwich shops, spas, grocery stores, dry cleaning, nail salon, veterinarian clinics, etc.

Good luck.

Quick Leasing Advice

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE new businesses coming into town. Who doesn’t love a new Thai restaurant opening up around the corner, a taco stand or a full fat ice cream place? But, unfortunately according to Bloomberg, 8 out of 10 entrepreneurs who start businesses fail within the first 18 months.

You’ll never know unless you try, but if you try you may end up putting yourself in financial risk that will take a minute to get out of, and it may affect your family’s livelihood in profound ways (like you may have to declare bankruptcy – I’ve unfortunately seen this consequence first hand through a family friend who had a having a thriving business that grew faster than the demand).

You should not let failure stop you, but you have to be mindful of it and protect yourself from its consequences. As an attorney who represents developers, I see entrepreneurship first hand, and I also know that many first time business owners leasing spaces DO NOT USE ATTORNEYS.

I totally understand. Not going to judge you. Although, I would LOVE having my own client base, I LOVE seeing fairness in a deal. I also hate one-sided deals, it makes me feel uncomfortable and it doesn’t settle well with my conscience.

I know when you are entering into a deal everyone is nice, but just remember, when a deal goes south, people are not so kind. So, below is a list of quick things you can do to protect yourself from getting screwed if you decide NOT to use an attorney:

INITIAL TERM AND OPTIONS FOR ADDITIONAL TERMS. Keep your initial term somewhat short, like 5 years, then have options to extend that can ONLY be exercised by YOU (the tenant) prior to the initial 5 year term expiring (i.e. three 5 year options to extend). This is important, because often when a term expires a landlord tries to use this as leverage to increase rates that DO NOT REFLECT market rates, because they know you are invested in the location, you have have spent money improving the space, and you are most likely just going to have to agree to it. (PUT THIS POINT IN YOUR LETTER OF INTENT)
LIMIT THE PERSONAL GUARANTY. So you’re smart enough to make sure you’re leasing the space with an LLC, but then you are dumb enough to sign YOUR OWN NAME for the “guaranty” for the full lease term. Limit that SH*T. Seriously. Get creative. Maybe you have a personal guaranty that lasts for half of the term or limited to 6 months rent, or after 3 years the guaranty disappears. JUST GET CREATIVE – Google the creativity my friends.
COMMON AREA MAINTENANCE CHARGES. Who is paying for what? YOU SHOULD NEVER BE PAYING FOR LANDLORD’S CAPITAL IMPROVEMENTS, or paying for things that the landlord will be reimbursed for at a later date. It makes sense to pay for your portion of property taxes, electricity, heating, etc., but it doesn’t make sense for you to be paying for repairs to your roof, or a brand new HVAC system six months before your term ends.
DEFAULT. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CURE RIGHT. If you’re late on a payment, or accidentally use the sidewalk to set up a table with some sample items, you do not want to trigger an automatic default. What you do want it to trigger, is the right of the Landlord to notify you of such issue, and the ability to cure a monetary default within 10 days of receiving notice and all non monetary defaults cured within 30 days of receiving notice. An automatic default means the Landlord can terminate your lease, and you could, in some instances, be liable for the total rent due for the remaining term.
LANDLORD DEFAULT. What happens if you contact your Landlord about your broken HVAC system – and he does NOTHING? Well in this instance you want the ability to cure the problem if landlord fails to address the problem within 15 days, and you want the right to deduct such cost from you rent with proof of payment. Go over this concept with your landlord, I’m sure their attorney will be happy to assist incorporating such concept in your lease.
NOTICES. THIS SEEMS LIKE A DUMB POINT, but man, the way notices need to be sent is an important thing. Is sending it by regular mail OKAY? or do you need to send it priority overnight via national known carrier, like FEDEX or UPS? You would hate to be that person who emailed your landlord your election of extending the term, but your landlord using the notice provision against you, in order to “negate” your extension, since you failed to follow the notice provision in your lease (THIS HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE PEOPLE).
INSURANCE AMOUNTS. Most landlord’s are flexible with these amounts – talk to your carrier and discuss the minimum amounts that need to be carried with the landlord.
CONFIRM ALL NUMBERS. Run all $$$ yourself. Just do it. Anyone can make a mistake.

I obviously have a whole list of other changes I could recommend, but these are the KEY POINTS to focus on when you’re entering into a lease and beginning (hopefully) a long term relationship with your landlord.

GOOD LUCK,

Maheen Akhter, ESQ.

GA & MO barred.

The above is not intended to be legal advice – but merely things for you to consider and share with those around you entering into a lease.

The SuperSoul Sunday Podcast

Have you guys heard the SuperSoul Sunday podcast? It is amazing! I absolutely love it. Every time I listen to it, I leave the conversation thinking, THIS IS WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING: inspiring others (so I naturally had to jump on blog and post something really quickly)!

I absolutely love how inspiring each conversation is, and how recharged I feel professionally and personally when I listen to them.

For example, this past Sunday she had a gentleman named Don Miguel Ángel Ruiz speaking about the Four Agreements, which are as follows:

Be impeccable with your word. (impeccable with your word towards OTHERS and towards YOURSELF)
Don’t take anything personally. (Described in more detail below)
Don’t make assumptions. (OH MAN. THIS IS SO HUGE IN THE PRACTICE OF LAW)
Always do your best. (I can’t say that I always do my best, sometimes I perform between 60-80%, and its because I feel so LOST, and I want something off of my plate or want to check it off of the list ASAP– and this is something I really need to work on. When I get into the swing of things, I think this is an area I shine in, but in the early days of figuring things out – I’M NOT PROVIDING MY BEST WORK).

Something that really spoke to me was this: “DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY“.

I am a woman, okay a girl, LOL. I often struggle with this concept. I dole it out to others so effortlessly, but when someone is unkind towards me (or I perceive unkindness) I get hung up. It sets me back and I feel this illusion of my world caving in on me. Dramatic, I know.

Lately, I try to think of the worst that could happen — and when I think about the worst or that its a moment that will pass, I feel at peace and I feel incredibly calm & I feel like I just want it to happen, so that we can all move on.

Do you experience this?

Well Don Miguel and Oprah, said two things which I loved:

There feelings and judgments towards you is a reflection of them, and where they are coming from and their experiences.
People WILL NOT think like me. The decisions I make are based off of my experiences – and I am the main character in MY story and NOT their story.
If they talk about me – its because at that particular moment they have nothing better to do.

What are your thoughts?

XOXO

Instant Pot: Shan Chicken Biryani

Hi Friends,

I am going to start “vlogging” and trying my hand at recording a recipe (don’t hold your breath though). To that point, I made this recipe this weekend:

So delicious and so easy. Thanks to the Instant Pot, probably took 30 -40 minutes to prepare and cook everything.

As you know, I am known for deviating from recipes, and I only deviated from this recipe by taking Garlic Paste (purchased from the grocery store in the herb section) put it in the Magic Bullet, along with 2 jalapenos, 8-10 mint leaves, and a 2 tablespoon chunk of ginger (along with a little bit of water), and pureed the crap out of it. I don’t have time to chop things finely – nor am I that talented. Besides this small deviation, I followed the recipe like the video (only issue – I apparently failed to put my pressure cooker on “sealing” mode so after 8 minutes of cooking I was done!

I would recommend making sure your instant pot is sealed, because I seemed to have gotten lucky with respect to my chicken being cooked all the way through, and I very easily could have made biryani with the chicken being under cooked.

I also recommend preparing all of the ingredients before hand (chopping, cubing the chicken, soaking the rice & making the above mentioned garlic-ginger-jalapeno paste), since if I didn’t have my amazing husband supervising and mixing, something would have BURNED.

My thoughts on the recipe:

It was yummy. Wasn’t the BEST biryani I’ve had, but definitely tasted great and enjoyed eating it at work the next day and am looking forward to eating it at home (this is a good sign – since when I don’t take it to work or look forward to eating it at home, then it ends up in the trash …)

Curious to know your thoughts! Feel free to share in the comments.

Thrifty Couple Alert

I’m a young associate and my husband is a resident. For some reason, my husband and I live like we are both college students with AN INCREDIBLY LIMITED BUDGET. We really do not have to live this way, but we do it (subconsciously I think) to pay off my student loans ASAP. This thriftiness has lead to a TON of funny stories of schemes we try to run with coupons, Ebates, repairs and making things last.

I know one day we will have a lot, or at least not have student loans and will have the OPTION to do a lot without feeling guilty, and I hope we can remember these “simple days” of a washing machine that only emits SCORCHING hot water on all the water temperature modes. In an effort obtain “warm” water, I throw a ton of ice cubes into the washing machine. The quality of the wash has ruined a few of my clothes since it seems to leave a HEAVY lint/calcium deposit lines on my clothes (which actually causes me a TON of rage), but today the BEST THING happened.

Back story: My sweet, sweet, sweet husband’s had to purchase new underwear due to the fact that scorching hot water has been doing a number on the elastic band on his underwear.

Present Day: Today I got a text from my husband, his underwear has apparently been falling under his scrubs. LOLOL.

I honestly have a lot of work to do today, but it is moments like these were I am so happy to share my life with him, through the ups & the downs, and I love that we are always laughing, even if its at our own expense. In an effort to never forgot the heavy heart-ed laughter I am feeling, while completely alone in my office, I decided to share this with you <3.

Chicken Tikka Masala

My love for cooking fluctuates. I always love to cook, BUT sometimes my hatred for cleaning trumps my love for it. I’ve been trying to get smart about the process – but it’s hard. Luckily, I have a supportive husband, who usually doesn’t mind cleaning up ( I love you Jho). So this weekend I decided to make the following the recipe I found off of YouTube:

I basically followed her recipe except for a few deviations:

I used a 1.7lb of chicken breast, which I cut into pieces and marinated overnight.
Instead of using tomato sauce, I used Trader Joe’s diced tomatoes with chili’s (no salt added I think). I cooked it down and added a splash of water – no more than like 1/4 of a cup of water. After it had cooked down a bit, I cook the mixture and put it in my Magic Bullet, to make it a smooth consistency (did this in two batches).
Cook it for 2-5 mins and then added chicken, and then the cream.
I added less than a cup of cream, and for the marinated I added about 1/2 a cup of yogurt too (enough to where everything was coated nicely – I did this because i had a personal serving size of plain yogurt and I wanted to save half of it to make a yogurt sauce to eat on the side called raita).
Also, read the way this girl makes the recipe in the description, because in the video, I’m not sure it says she adds additional garam masala when she makes the sauce but in the description, it mentions the addition of the additional teaspoon of garam masala!

I honestly took the WORST food pictures — but my husband and I LOVED it ❤ and we are SOOO excited to eat the rest for dinner :).

Is Your Mother Wise?

At a SUPER young age, I was taught, told or understood the value of telling my mom important details of my life. I guess, I truly believe she has my best interest, and there is no one one in the world who will love me, sacrifice their needs over mine, or genuinely pray for my happiness more than my mom.

I was talking to my friend Summar last night about how I am one of those kids who is an over sharer, and I told her, I guess it stemmed from my mom telling me this story of one of her sisters. One of my mom’s sisters has just had a tougher time than my mom, and my mom attributes it to her not being candid with my grandparents. My mom says, she could have been spared from tough moments that happened in her life had she just been candid with her parents and asked for advice. My mom really holds my grandfather in high-esteem, and she trusted his judgment and truly believed the advice he would give would only be to help his child and that he would consider all of the facts (my grandfather was a small town attorney- so, I too believe that his advice would have been well reasoned).

After talking to my friend Summar, I can definitely think of people in my life (and even my own mom) who sometimes had a biased view on things. I listen to my mom and share a lot with her, but for some reason, I believe I have the ability to weed out the dumb stuff she says. For example, I have gained a few pounds after getting married, my sweet mother has told me on multiple occasions that this is a biological thing and it happens to women after they get married. LOLOLOLOL. Sorry, its so ridiculous that I have to laugh. I am fairly sure she is being serious. I know that I’ve packed on a few pounds because I have been making HORRIBLE decisions food wise. I’m not mad or sad about it – my body is a product and reflection of my decisions.

Enough about my body & back to my mom. Okay, so then it occurred to me, I really wanted to write a piece on how I weigh my mom’s advice and how I decide to use it or ignore it.

Every decision I make is my own. Even if my mother provides guidance on something that I have solicited guidance on – I make sure to understand that I have to OWN the decision I make. If she provides me dumb advice and I take it, then it’s on me – it’s not on her. For example, before I got married I really wanted to buy this really beautiful diamond necklace it was 3 ctws and so beautiful. I consulted with my mother, who agreed it was a good idea, but LUCKILY when I went to place the order for it, they didn’t have it readily available and the next few days when I pondered the purchase – I realized it was a dumb idea. I do not need diamonds now, I needed to pay off my student loans.
When your parents provide unsolicited guidance, question the motive behind it. My mom wasn’t into my brother moving to NYC, but, nonetheless, he did. Her reason for holding him back was based off of her own fear of being lonely without him and she wasn’t really thinking about him, she was thinking about herself. Parents are human, and sometimes, you need to remember that like all humans, they will have their best interest in mind, and might not understand how your actions are serving YOUR best interest. Weighing the two interests is something you need to do on your own.
When you parents try to meddle. Say “No”. I trust that my mom would never meddle. She provides me guidance, and, has never taken my personal battle with someone as her own personal battle. I used to really dislike it, especially when I would get into scuffles with siblings, cousins or a specific uncle, but, now as a young woman, I really value her decision not to do so. You know the saying, “Too many chefs in the kitchen, spoil the broth” I think problem solving is similar. It is okay to ask people to reflect on the issue with you and to hear different thoughts on it, but at the end of the day, the issue you have with someone is between you and them and you do not need to drag in a third person, or have a third person speak for you, unless you are paying them and they are your attorney.
Reflect on your parents lives. Do you view your parents as successful? Do you see them holding good and positive relationships in their lives? Are your parents happy? I have a feeling if they are happy and if they are happy in their marriage & with their other relationships (friends and family) and are, in your opinion, living a good life – then you should trust their judgment for tough things and really give their opinion some extra weight when they tell you to not do things/ do things. They have done something right to maintain happy relationships with those they love, & the advice they give you will come from past experiences that obviously lead to a past positive result.

I am sure you know bad advice when you see it, but the above are just a few things to consider next time your mom, or anyone that is important to you, provides you guidance. I hope it is helpful and allows you to obtain some perspective.

Peace, love and happiness.

Practice Points: 7 Legal Phrases I Wish I Knew When I First Started.

“Notwithstanding anything to the contrary contained in this Agreement,…” this is the ultimate trump clause. By adding this provision, if later or earlier in the document you say something to the contrary, it is automatically trumped by the contradictory statement that comes after this phrase!
“The [Enter Party’s Name] understand, acknowledges and agrees to ….” I use this phrase when I want to convey that the opposing party is fully aware of what is going on – and they cannot find a way to back out if they do not like the term later when the deal is signed, sealed and delivered.
“[Enter Party’s Name] shall not unreasonably withhold, condition or delay such [consent/approval]…” This clause is great, when you understand that the other party’s consent/approval is important, but want to make sure that they do not delay, condition or unreasonably withhold such consent or approval.
“Except as provided in [name document]….” or “Subject to the terms and conditions in [insert document name]…“= I use this phrase when I want to limit my client’s liability in regards to knowing something they should know, or to exclude items contained in another document. I often use this phrase when I am limiting the Lender’s right to go after my client for environmental stuff, or when I want to limit Seller’s liability for knowing environmental conditions on their property. For example, “Except as provided in that certain Phase I, dated April 1, 2016, issued by Environmental Guys, Inc., to the best of Seller’s knowledge, Seller is unaware of any hazardous environmental conditions contained on the property.
“including, but not limited to, the following…” = I use this phrase when I am making a list of items that I expressly want to include, but I also don’t want to cut my client’s rights off to other items not named.
“…which consent shall be held in [enter party’s name] sole and absolute discretion…” = this is a great phrase to use when you want your client to obtain the right to consent or deny something the other party is requesting without having a valid reason.
“To the best of [enter party’s name] knowledge,” when you are making reps and warranties to the other side you always want to sneak this in front of what ever sort of rep/warranty you are giving the other side.

When I first started, the above clauses seemed so FOREIGN and “deal” specific, but then as I turned more and more contracts and agreements, I realized they aren’t deal specific and are usually needed in each and every agreement in some form or fashion. Just by knowing these few phrases, you will have a jump start on making your initial edits, and make who ever hired you incredibly happy to know that he/she hired someone who knows SOMETHING, as opposed to nothing.

Can you think of any other phrases that you come across everyday that are missing in my little list? If so, please feel free to share them below in the comments section.

PRACTICE POINTS: Tips & Tricks on Being a Young Transactional Associate

My first job out of law school was at a midsize law firm – and when I say midsize I mean a small law firm- there were only 20 lawyers. I KNEW NOTHING when I started. My internships did very little in regards to training me on how to be a transactional lawyer– so all of my training was ON THE JOB TRAINING. You can only imagine how long every task took – and how I always thought I was JUST ABOUT TO BE LET GO with every single mistake I made (and, oh god, I made so many). Each time I “fell”, I felt so dumb – but, luckily, I knew I had to get back up and take another crack at it. I remember I use to have this list taped to my desk of “MISTAKES TO NEVER MAKE AGAIN“. I wish I could teach a “PRACTICING LAW FOR NEW LAWYERS 101” class at local law schools or teach a college course on just being a legal intern / paralegal. Seeing as colleges probably don’t want to hire me for the 101 course (just yet), I thought I would share a few tips and tricks on starting your career at a law firm.

ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK ALL ENTITY NAMES. I had to learn this by being shamed. An incredibly kind (sarcasm) lender’s counsel taught me that THE SLIGHTEST COMMA AND AND PERIOD contained in an entities name had to mimic what the business entity website said for the entity. (You can double check this by Google-ing: “Business entity search [name the state the entity is formed in/incorporated in]” click on the state’s certain website for searching for such entity and type in the entity’s name. Look at how the entity’s name appears, does it say “Walmart, LLC”, “Walmart LLC” or “Walmart, L.L.C.” THOSE ARE THREE DIFFERENT WAYS TO PRESENT THE ENTITY’S name. Be sure you are using the version stated on the Secretary of State’s website.)
ADDING AND SUBTRACTING DATES. This website needs to be your best friend: Calendar Counter . When you first start out at any law firm as a transactional attorney, they usually have you calendar dates and summarize a deal in a table format. I remember when I first started, I ACTUALLY COUNTED 60 days on my little calendar by hand, until an older associate told me about the website referenced above.
WHOM TO CARBON COPY (CC): When you are responding to an email – you respond to everyone on the chain who is CC-ed. Don’t add personal assistants, unless someone in your office confirms otherwise, and just double check if you’re unsure, but do not do it unless you are sure.
ANTICIPATE QUESTIONS YOUR PARTNER OR SENIOR ASSOCIATE MAY ASK. This will make your life easier, but pretend you are the partner or senior associate, and ask yourself, what you would like to know in regards to the deal, and make sure to know that information, because more often then not, they will want to know. Always know when diligence expires and when closing must happen and when MONEY IS NONREFUNDABLE (AKA: HARD).
DOUBLE CHECK ALL TIME SCHEDULES & NUMBERS. The dumbest mistake you can make is getting the Purchase Price wrong, or the deposit wrong, when it is blatantly written out in the Letter of Intent (“LOI”) for a deal. After you’re done drafting, literally print out the LOI and cross of everything that you have added, make sure you have a valid reason for not adding the other stuff in the LOI that you did not cross off.
HOW TO HANDLE COMMENTS TO YOUR WORK. When a certain shareholder/partner provides comments to your work, implement each comment and cross it off or highlight their comment so you know that you have incorporated it into the document. Also, next time you do a similar project for this certain shareholder/partner make sure those stylistic comments (even if you do not agree with them) are incorporated into the document.
CREATE A SMALL CTRL+F LIST. If you need to delete a defined term, or delete a clause, etc. create a list of items to search for in the document so you know you have adequately removed it after you are done drafting it.
SUMMARIZE THE DEAL. I know work at a large firm, but at the smaller firm I never summarized the deal. My emails always said “Attached please find the revised clean and redlined copy of the ___________”. At this firm, a shareholder mentioned that clients really liked deal summaries, so its something that I have incorporated into my practice. For example, you do not need to LAY OUT EVERY DETAIL, just picture deal points. “As I understand the deal, the Purchase Price is _____, you have ___ days to conduct due diligence and closing will occur ____ days after the expiration of the due diligence period. If you fail to terminate then your deposit, in the amount of $_____ goes hard, and you have to deposit an additional $______.” For purchase and sale contracts you don’t need to do this as much since there is an LOI for lease agreements I realized summaries are great to make sure the client understands the deal.
CHARTS. At my last firm, I use to draft “Negotiation Charts”. Basically a table where, I lay out the Section, the revision made by the opposing party and another column for my client’s position. This was a great way to quickly go through all of the changes made by the opposing party and to make sure all the changes are adequately addressed and not left out on our call. During the call, after we discuss each issue, I quickly jotted the client’s position so I knew exactly what change to make. Similarly, after implementing each change, I would place a little check by the section number to make sure I had addressed the issue.
DRAFT EMAILS. I do this a lot more at my current job then my old job, but I often type up draft emails I would send to the client for the partner/shareholder to review prior to sending it off to the client. I do this at this firm a lot, because I don’t know the client’s yet, and I don’t know what I have the authority to say and what I do not have the authority to say —so, I found that draft emails are great to confirm these issues. A while ago, I emailed a client and told him that he needed to deposit his earnest money, since if he did not the Seller could terminate the contract. I later got an email from the shareholder saying I shouldn’t EVER TELL THE CLIENT that they are in breach of the contract, since it’s alarming, and I should be gentler about it. Had I simply sent him a draft email, I would have saved myself from his stern email – but my bad —you live and learn. So, I definitely WON’T be drafting an email like that again.
CONFIRM THE FORM OR ASK FOR THE FORM. When you are told to draft a particular item, and the shareholder/partner/senior associate do not provide you with a form, either grab a quick form off of your system and say, “would it be okay to work off of the attached?” or “Do you have a particular form you would like me to use?”. This is key! Sometimes certain clients have certain forms & other times certain shareholders have certain forms – so MAKE SURE TO CONFIRM PRIOR TO GETTING STARTED.
KNOW THE FACTS/DEAL. At orientation at my new law firm, the leading lawyer said something which I wish I were told when I started my career “As a young lawyer, shareholders/partners/senior associates do not expect you to know the law, however, they do expect you to know the deal. Your job as a young attorney is to know the deal in and out, and as you progress in your career you will learn the law.”

Like all jobs, the practice of law has its ups and downs. Some days you are flying high and the client and your partner love you. Other days, when you receive a draft of your work back, you wonder if you can even read correctly(?). Just remember, it’s the PRACTICE OF LAW: mistakes are bound to happen, just fix it, get back up and make a mental note to NEVER MAKE THE MISTAKE AGAIN.

Peace, Love & Happiness.

PRACTICE POINTS is a series on my blog all about being a young associate at a law firm. I am navigating the seas of law firm culture, etiquette & work product. Join me as I share a few personal stories, so you can know the things I wish I had known when I was you!

Being Thankful

Memorial Day Weekend. The Memorial day holiday is about a few hours away & I cannot wait for the long weekend to start. Thinking about the long weekend and how I will be lucky enough to spend it with my husband, made me think about how lucky I am! Here is the thing, I feel like I am thankful for so many people and things in my life, who God willing, will always be staples in my life.

Why be thankful for the “Basics”? I was fortunate enough to have this “thankful” attitude as a little girl, since my mom and dad would ALWAYS tell me to be thankful for the things I had, when I would be whining about wanting a Game Boy, new clothes, or something random like Pokemon cards. My parents would say, “Don’t look at what you don’t have, but look at what you do have – and don’t compare your needs to those above you, but compare your needs to those below you.” I think my best friend Summar can testify, but I never felt like I was missing out on anything, I never asked for TOO much, and for the most part I had the things I wanted (I didn’t want or ask for too much, so getting most things off the list was easy). I had friends who grew up super privileged, but I never thought about the stuff they had vs what I had – I just felt happy for them and wanted to probably admire their items (I still kind of do this – I have close friends show me hauls of things, and I love watching YouTube hauls – especially the luxury ones). That being said, there were still times I wanted better things or something super special (like I drove a really annoying car in undergrad, and when my friends had sexier cars – trust me I wanted a sexier a car – but I mean I would forget my little grievances after like 10 minutes of whining and complaining about it).

When did I become thankful for being “thankful”? Every time I face a tough situation or a few tough days, I do this thing where I take out my hardly used paper agenda, and I write 5 things I am thankful for. My list usually starts off like so (sample from Feb. 21, 2017):

my Nespresso
my Nespresso pods
A friend who is an immigration lawyer, who was helping another friend out
Thankful for certain shareholders in my firm who did a great job explaining the deal in great detail (if you’re a young lawyer you know how nice it is to have all of the facts laid out on the front end then getting it piece by piece).
my husband

I do this for a few days, and like MAGIC, everything in my life just gets better. I stop focusing on lame situations and people, and suddenly, I feel upbeat and positive again. Once, I am at a 100%, or even 80%, I usually get lazy and stop making the lists, but just by making a little gratitude list, I feel like the universe rewards me and makes everything rosy again!

Have you ever tried gratitude lists? Have you ever tried making a gratitude list? What were your thoughts? I know my list above seems silly, but being appreciative makes the world and others around you want to do even more for you! At least, I notice that is how I respond. When someone expects me to do something nice for them – I’m not that into it, but when someone is grateful and appreciative, with no expectation, it almost motivates me to continuously do more for them (I have a feeling the universe works similarly).

I would love to hear about the things you list and also the things you do to stay positive 🙂 feel free to share below or link your page below 🙂

Poof. You are an Adult: Dealing with Unpleasant People

Everyone is kind and pleasant. Right? When you grow up and think about becoming an adult, you get this false sense that everyone around you will act kindly, be pleasant, and put in their fair share of effort. As you enter the work force, most people are like this – they are helpful, kind and pleasant. However, every now and then you may encounter a thorn in your dozen roses.

Just like a thorn on a rose – you don’t throw the rose away, you just deal with it. Dealing with this unpleasant person is tough. Trust me I get it. Dealing with the issue is even tougher. It’s tough because you don’t want to seem like one of those people that is constantly complaining, or seem too sensitive, and as a woman, I have this incessant need to be liked by everyone (do people like to be disliked??), but I have learned a few things that will hopefully help you:

Sometimes it is in your head. Sometimes you may think someone is acting a certain way towards you, because you are projecting your own insecurities on this person. You’re fine. The preson is fine. The thorn is actually a budding flower.
Who CARES? Who cares if this person does not like you? Who cares? Let it go, and just understand that you do not like everyone and everyone will not like you. I do not like President Trump, and, frankly I am sure if he saw a picture of me, he would not like me either, but who cares – sometimes you just have to say this a million times to yourself. The “WHO CARES” mantra should be amplified when this thorn of a person does not impact your ability to move up the ladder (i.e. if you are a doctor and a particular nurse is annoying or you’re a manager and one of your technicians isn’t that pleasant or upbeat).
Tough Conversations. Sometimes it is a good idea to have tough conversations. These conversations should not be a hostile thing, and you should go into them with a positive attitude and with you knowing your faults prior to the conversation so you can hear and acknowledge the other persons issues and not be caught off guard or feel SUPER defensive when they are brought up. You should also have a plan or a rough idea of things this person and you can do to make the experience better for one another and to alleviate any potential issue that could arise in the future.
Quarantine. This goes along with the “Who Cares?” point, but sometimes the best method of this is coming to terms with it, acknowledging it, and then telling yourself to limit your interaction with this individual. For example, no need for small talk -pleasantries like “Hi”& “Hello” are sufficient. Smile and head on over to your desk. After a few weeks of this, you’ll be numb to this person and their energy and it won’t bog you down!
Make a Friend. Make an office friend. Seriously. Did you know that making one good friend in the office makes your experience at work 50% better. REPEAT: 50% BETTER. You can even confide about that annoyingly rude co-worker with your work friend – and one day you’ll be thankful for the the annoyingly rude co-worker that provides all of the laughs between you and your work best friend!
The six (6) – Twelve (12) Month Rule. Although, I’ve been fortunate enough to never come close to encountering this rule, I imagine, if this person is your boss/supervisor, you can’t necessarily use the “Who Cares” method or the quarantine method, however you can stick it out for 6 – 12 months, reassess the situation and then jump ship. Just remember to always be kind & professional, because this person will be apart of your resume and does have the ability to say something unkind about you and this persons words can impact your future. Prior to jumping ship, obviously line up another job – but this time when you’re selecting your job, assess the environment and the people a little more carefully. LOL
Kind. Kind. Kind. I get it. You’re sick of me saying “Kind” but ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NOT LET THIS PERSON CONTROL YOUR DAY, YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR THOUGHTS. You are such a wonderful person, and just because someone isn’t acting to the degree or standard of kindness that you would like them to, doesn’t give YOU THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE or to act like them. You should not let it impact your identity and who YOU are. You are above the situation and them, so act accordingly.
REMEMBER. Use these unpleasant experiences to shape and monitor the way you act and react. When you are in a position of authority and one day you have a young associate or medical student, remember what it was like to be in their shoes, reflect on it and act accordingly – treat them like you would have wanted to be treated.

I hope my tips and tricks are helpful. The work place is a much better place to be when everyone is professional, plays nice, is friends and laughs. It makes waking up in the morning a little easier and makes the day go by faster. Good luck with everything friends!

Peace, Love & Laughter 🙂

JOIN ME ON MY SERIES CALLED “POOF: YOU ARE AN ADULT!” and feel free to suggest other topics to address! I loved writing the above, even though it’s a little lengthier than what most people would prefer!

Poof. You Are an Adult: Embracing Minimalism

Hi Friends,

So during the months of October and November of 2016, I had the BIGGEST burden on my shoulders: I was packing my Atlanta life up and moving to Kansas City. As you know, moves are NEVER as simple or easy, but this move was a little trickier since I was moving from my very own 1 bedroom 1 bath condo to a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo.

My place. You’re probably wondering, “Whats the big deal? You now have another room and bathroom?” Although, the prior statement is true, the sheer size of my Atlanta place came with SO MUCH STORAGE SPACE. For example, I had a full size pantry, a walk-in closet, a linen closet, big bathroom with 6 pull out drawers, and a coat closet. Yup. I was cozy. Yup. I had filled everything up to the brim. Yup. I still used so many of those space bags for my seasonal clothes and linens.

His place. My husband’s place was nice. “Pent House” LOL. I mean it technically is the pent house, but by no means is it a pent house. It is just a regular unit in his building that is on the top floor. The view is great, the kitchen has an awesome large granite block to make preparing food and eating meals awesome and welcoming, we both have nice sized walk-in closets (same size as my old place) and we each have our own bathrooms. That being said, our bathrooms are super small, we don’t have the extra pantry or coat closet, and both of the bedrooms are smaller. We use one room as the office and the other as our primary bedroom.

What’s the problem again? So the problem was/is that I had SO MUCH CRAP and I was keeping things for the sake of “keeping memories” or keeping clothes that I would “one day wear”.

Minimalism. One day out of know where it seems, along came this idea of cutting things down and minimalism. I probably stumbled across the idea of minimalism when I Youtubed a de-cluttering my closet video, and then I became enthralled by them and needed to watch more and more. I, by no means, relinquished all of my goods, but I did let go of a SUBSTANTIAL amount of things. It felt AWESOME. Here is a list of reasons why I love MINIMALISM and why I hope you will embrace it as well:

Unflattering. I have said this in a million other posts, but love those that love you, and get rid of those items that you do not love and that you do not love. What does this mean – it means, if you KNOW something in your closet is UNFLATTERING, then let it go. Also, if something has bleach stains or holes in it let it go (super easy trick of initial letting things go).
Commitment Phob Bag. If you are having issues letting go, get a nice brown bag or large plastic bag (even a garbage bag if you can’t find something that fits the bill for the earlier items) and place it in your closet. Go through your clothes that you haven’t worn in the past year or so, and literally put it in this bag, and tell yourself, that if you do not get it out of this bag within 6 months or a 12 months then you know its okay to donate.
Declutter your closet. Declutter your life. When I was in college and later in life, and I always found the act of decluttering to be incredibly symbolic. When I faced tough situations in life (transitional phases), I would always clear out ANY AND ALL old reminders as a way for me to make room for new memories and new reminders. The process of letting it go physically, enabled me to let it go mentally.
Be Selective. Next time you go shopping be INCREDIBLY selective about what you buy. I am SUPER into buying a few quality items (at a cost) that I will wear a 1,000 times, then buying a ton of cheap items that I will wear 3 times. I treat my clothes gently (AKA: cold water wash, hang dry, and only wash when needed). What is the point of having fast fashion & cheap items, when you only wear them a few times and then a month from now you’re like, “This doesn’t fit well”, or “After I washed it the items looks weird”. You’re better off buying something that LOOKS amazing on you, so that you know when you wear it you’ll look and feel your best.
MAKEUP/SKIN CARE/HAIR CARE. You do not need a million products. You don’t. Use what you have – FINISH IT ALL UP. Seriously – those dumb samples– just finish them – you don’t need to save them for a trip you’ll go on in 3 months and 3 days. If you do need the samples then, you can run out and grab them – but as for now finish your junk up. Also, MAKE UP PALETTES – I get that you want to own the latest palettes, but really think hard about the purchase before doing so. Like so many girls – I have enough palettes to where if any new palettes come – I could some how assemble it based off the palettes I’ve already purchased. Make up goes bad – don’t do dumb impulse buys. JUST DON’T.
Now that you have let stuff go. Don’t run to the store to fill up this space. Keep it empty. Did you know that the more stuff you have the more stress you feel. Keeping things simple, will allow you to be less stressed (its apparently proven). This is also great on your wallet too! I feel bad that I came to these realizations later in life, since I am pretty sure I could have saved my parents a nice chunk of change, had I come to this realization sooner.
PRACTICE ALL OF THE ABOVE. You know, I don’t have the latest make-up products or the trendiest clothes, but I do have a staple camel colored cashmere vest that I love (and I will be wearing it 5 years from now), I have block heels that are comfortable and cute (I can wear them to work and out to a nice dinner), and I have the cutest quilted black bag (that will never go completely out of style). I am a classic girl (okay – some may say basic). Although, your counter may be, “I don’t want to be like everyone else” my rebuttal to you would be, “Your clothes are apart of your identity, and should not be your identity.” You are so much more then the cotton, wool, cashmere, leather and polyester draped around your body, you have real thoughts and you can take real action – people should know you for your acts of kindness and generosity, and not the fact that you are sporting a cold-shoulder top this summer or will be showing some side-boob. (DEUCES).

I have really enjoyed embracing minimalism. It is a lifestyle I am fortunate enough to choose. I know that if my husband and I ever fell on hard times, we would be fine and still look cute with all of our quality items

If you want to know more about minimalism, then feel free to check out the following YouTube videos:

LOVE, PEACE & HAPPINESS,

Maheen

Poof. You Are An Adult. English is Their Second Language.

One of the toughest parts about getting older seems to be having to watch your parents become older. I am fortunate enough to have an incredibly close relationship with my parents and, simultaneously, I have an incredibly unique relationship with my parents, since I have always considered myself their protector and interpreter of western culture.

My parents moved to this country from India. My dad got a head start by coming here in the late 70’s. Whereas my mom, finally came with my siblings around the late 80’s. Seeing as my dad went to school here and obtained a PhD and Masters, it only makes sense that he has mastered the language and western “culture” more than my mother. He has an accent, but not as strong as my mother, and he can communicate fluently [and apparently effectively, since he has obtained awesome opportunities throughout the years in his career].

My mother, she is a different story. To a certain extent, my mom didn’t need to master the language, she ran an ethnic story in the early 90’s (no language barriers there) and worked in some sort if I.T. testing division in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. She dabbled in day care before and after the I.T. position, but working with little kids did not necessarily require her to “learn” the language or the culture.

So now, my parents are getting older – whats the big deal? So growing up when it was just me and my mom running an errand, I would try to make sure the store clerk was talking to me, so that I could interpret the information over to my mom. I did this with simple things and more complicated things (like car issues or calling manufacturers in regards to warranties on home appliances), but I remember going to college and having this thought, “how will my mom communicate her needs effectively or understand third parties without me?” I gave my mom little or no credit, and I gave myself a LOT of credit. My mom did fine, she didn’t need me [as much as I had lead myself to believe]. I put this thought of her inability to communicate in my own head.

I remember coming home for Christmas break one year and intentionally being quiet at the store so I could witness the interaction. I thought the store clerk could have been kinder, but, I guess from his point of view my mom’s tone when trying to speak English does not always come off as lovable, since she is more focused on trying to get the right words and conjugation out.

I created my own problem. I, like many of you, LOVE helping my parents! I love them – they are wonderful humans, who continue to do a lot for me and everyone else around them. So as an adult I see myself trying to revert to my old ways of simply doing things for them, but at the same time this is not as sustainable since I live in a different time zone, married and a young lawyer at a large firm [who by the way is studying for the Missouri Bar].

For example, the other day my mom wanted me to send her the address of a salon near her, so I got off a call with my husband, while at Target running errands, Googled the salon and sent her the address. See the issue with this is that this is something she could have easily done, but I have reinforced her to believe that she cannot. So this morning, she told me the salon was closed [she said it in a way where it was closed forever]- I said why don’t you Google it again and try to give them another call. She hesitated, but with a little subtle encouragement she did it! She called them – made an appointment, now knows they are closed on Mondays, and even rescheduled her appointment after a second call!

This whole article was initially geared towards writing about aging parents , but it ended up turning into an article about my mother– Happy Mother’s Day -I guess! I am amazed by how awesome she is, and I am learning to understand that our mother-daughter relationship needs to evolve and is evolving. We are both learning new things. I am learning to teach my mother how to catch fish, and she learning to not be afraid of catching the fish [broad -broad overstatement- since she does A LOT without me – but I like giving myself more credit sometimes].

I am sure many of you struggle with these same scenarios and situations, and I would love to hear about how you handle things. Feel free to comment below – interested in your thoughts.

Poof. You are an Adult. Don’t Be Scared

Hi Friends,

I recently posted the following video:

Initially I was a little nervous about it – thoughts like “What are you doing?” and “You’re an attorney not a vlogger” crossed my mind, along with other thoughts of colleagues stumbling upon it or random acquaintances tuning in- but then I thought, I have always put myself out there, and this was NO exception. I have always wanted to do YouTube, but my own fears of what others would think seemed to ALWAYS hold me back. Just like this space, I have no idea if it will be dedicated to one aspect of my life, or will grow into something where I can experiment with my hobbies and interests. We shall see. I hope that you will join me a long for the ride, and I hope that you will try something of your comfort zone soon too :).

Bye!

Poof: You Are An Adult. Ending a Friendship

When you are a little girl you dream of the day you are a fabulous adult. Working in one of those big buildings, where you have an awesome office, the cutest wardrobe, the perfect hair and skin, the ability to eat everything yummy and never gain a pound, the perfect home (in the perfect shade of blush pink), and perfect relationships.

As you grow up you learn that you cannot have it all. You learn to pick a career, be serious, socialize and love only those people that matter, and above all you learn that every action truly does have a consequence.

One of the toughest parts about this entrance into adulthood is leaving people “behind”. I really struggle with this issue, but I realize more and more that you cannot take everyone with you on your journey, and although you want to share something because of the sheer length of time you have been in each others lives or maybe there are certain aspects of this person you really appreciate, there are other subjective negative aspects that severely outweigh the length of time and pleasant traits of this person. If this person lived near, it would make sense to connect every now and then and to make the effort to maintain the relationship, but if the person is far away, and every time you meet in real life the negatives seem overshadow the positives, you need to walk away.

What does walking away mean? I have learned that the hardest and easiest thing to do in life is to come up with black and white rules and stick with them. It’s hard, because your mind wants to analytically poke holes and give you subjective outs and create grey. It’s the easy thing to do, because if you just simply allow it to be black and white then you are free of trying to interpret the grey. To highlight using this method, you simply tell yourself: I am done with this person, I will not contact them, respond to their contact, and I will un-follow them on social media. By simply coming up with these incredibly tough rules and sticking with them you no longer have to constantly second guess yourself or your actions towards this specific person. You take a position & you stick with it.

What happens next? By taking a position and staying strong, you will soon realize that you are free of this person and the burdens they brought into your life. Freedom from any negativity, only means that more positivity can replace it if you are open to it! Take the time that you would have spent talking to that individual and invest it in yourself, your family, your community, your other close friends or your work. Use one bad “relationship”, whether it be a friendship or serious relationship to catapult you to the next level, and as hard as this may sound never look back. If you find yourself even wanting to take a glance backwards, just remember that things were not always that rosy, and you do not need this person.

HI FRIENDS!

It has honestly been a minute since I last posted! I have a few important updates: I moved to Kansas City and I GOT MARRIED. Wild right?

I surprisingly really love Kansas City. I mean I will always be an ATLien, but Kansas City is one of those cities that is a hidden gem for the following reasons:

It takes less than 30 minutes to get anywhere around town (more like 15-20 minutes – but saying thirty minutes since I had to drive across town to go to a girlfriend’s house and it took about 30 minutes).
The rent prices are cheaper- ATL was about $300-$400 more for rent. Annual savings of about $4,800.00. Now who doesn’t like that??
The food is yummy! The food in Atlanta is better simply because there are so many options, but for the limited options that are here, I would say KC isn’t doing that bad of a job.
My husband is here 🙂

On that note, how did you meet your husband: I met the love of my life through a friend during the fall of 2015! Something just clicked — I seemed to just enjoy talking to this guy for hours on end (and the whole time we were talking it felt like 15-20 mins, but then I’d look at the clock at it would read 1:00am). UMM WHERE DID THE TIME GO??? If you know me, I go to bed SUPER early, so this was different :).

The layers. I feel like getting to know him was like peeling an onion, so many layers, but each layer so awesome as the next. I couldn’t wait to tell friends and family members about him! He was awesome. Our families got involved and they took it from there.

It was EASY. Years from now when I tell my kids the story of how I met their father in more detail of course, I will tell them that being with him was EASY. I didn’t have to talk him into anything, change him, or wish I was different or he was different – I took him as he was and he did the same. I will tell them -we didn’t fight and each conversation and interaction was a loving one (granted we get into scuffles every now and but I can’t think of any “real” fights – THANK GOD).

Being married & what my relationship is like: It is great! I told my husband the other day, part of the problem of being so head over heels is that I cannot wait to come home to him and working big law means working big hours- LOL- I kid -my hours are not as bad as I thought they were going to be and this week especially as been awesome (hence the post). Luckily, I married someone who supports me and my dreams, so he never complains or says anything about my hours. Rather, he encourages me take on more, wake up earlier and works by my side :).

Okay, I am writing all of this and he doesn’t even check my blog – since I put a DO NOT CHECK THIS SITE prohibition on him months ago, but if he does ever stop by I think he will be happy to see that I am happy to be his.

XOXO.

Health: My Favorite Morning Drink!

Hi Friends,

A fun fact about me is that I love sipping on things more than chewing things! I’m not sure why, but I love a yummy drink: carbonated, fresh juice, teas & coffees (I really don’t discriminate).

Lately, one of my favorite morning drinks has been 100% Bolthouse Farms Pomegranate Juice and chia seeds! (I’ve been purchasing Bolthouse over Pom Wonderful due to the price point. I’m sure if the POM Wonderful price point were better – I’d use either/or.)

I bought the Chia Seeds from amazon for $11 – you can find them anywhere though. At night (preferred method) or in the morning (least preferred method) I take a tablespoon or two of the chia seeds ad them let them soak in the pomegranate juice. By the time I wake up or am done getting ready for the morning –I have an awesome health drink ready for me!

The benefits of pomegranate juice are never ending, but here are some of my favorite benefits of drinking it:

may help stop plaque from building up in blood vessel
loaded with antioxidants (antioxidants are known to help prevent and repair DNA damage that can lead to cancer)
A 2005 study on 45 patients with coronary heart disease demonstrated that a daily drink of 238ml (8.4oz) of pomegranate juice administered over three months resulted in improved blood flow to the heart and a lower risk of heart attack
I’m anemic and the iron content is high in pomegranate juice!

I’m also really loving chia seeds – I’m sure you’ve read a million articles dedicated to these inflatable black seeds that turn all jelly-like, but once again here are my favorite reasons for loving chia seeds:

one tablespoon of chia seeds have more calcium than a glass of milk, more omega-3s than salmon, and more antioxidants than blueberries
high in fiber
may help prevent cardiovascular, neurological and autoimmune diseases

I hope you’re inspired to try the combination tomorrow morning, because it’s something I’ll definitely be enjoying!

Stay healthy!

DIY MONDAY: Quick fix for MASCARA!

OH NO: Your mascara – it’s clumping – it’s dry- and YES this is the only bottle you have on hand. What will you do? YOU WILL NOT FREAK OUT or use this clumpy-product. What you will do is fix it.

I have two favorite ways to fix it. One con with both quick fixes is that the mascara tends to sweat a little more than usual (atleast for me) and with the coconut oil I seem to get a softer lash – but I end up seeing tiny particles of the product sprinkled around my check (sometimes).

CONTACT SOLUTION / EYE DROPS:

Warning DO NOT USE: hydrogen peroxide care systems, such as CLEAR CARE^® Cleaning & Disinfecting Solution, or any sort of generic brand. IT WILL STING YOUR EYE AND CAUSE OTHER ISSUES (frankly, all I know is something horrible will happen: so DO NOT do it!!)

But you can use your regular run of the mill contact solution.

Add in a drop or two of the solution into the tube then mix it and move the wand around in it and you should get a consistency of mascara that is not clumpy. Instead of contact solution you could also use eye drops to do the trick as well.

COCONUT OIL:

I secretly love the coconut oil method. As stated above I get softer lashes and the product in my mind seems “richer” and just better. Obviously, only put a little bit of coconut oil in the tube and then just swoosh it around. Adding a little bit of coconut oil will allow you to probably use your tube of mascara for another 4-6 days. If you’re wondering how you can use this tip in the winter when coconut oil is in a thicker form: simply take a small glob of it in your hands and it should melt relatively quickly and just funnel it in to your tube!

Do you have any quick fixes? I’d love to hear them!

Dior Diorshow Maximizer Lash Plumping Serum

Hi Friends,

Does anyone feel like their mascara is just not that good for their eyelashes, or is leading to fall out? I’ve had this thought and sometimes when I’m washing my face/removing my eye makeup I’ll notice a lash or two – and i’ll reminisce about the days I had gorgeous full lashes! So a few weeks ago when I went to Sephora to purchase my new favorite eye liner — they’ll be a separate post on this— and I I apparently had like over 200, or even 300, Sephora points. I asked the teller what the gifts were and actually decided to trade in my points to try out this primer (it was 100 points). I am soooo happy I did, because I actually like it a lot, and will be purchasing the full size version once my sample size comes to an end.

Some of my own personal reasons for like it are:

I don’t have to worry about my mascara sweating (huge PLUS for the bottom lash mascara situation)
It does add added volume and length
It is an incredibly easy and basic step
The price point is not terrible for its apparent benefits

On the online review for the product via Sephora, I noticed that some people saw improvements to their actual eye lashes due to the serum and not just in conjunction with the mascara (that is how I interpreted the results) I haven’t been using it for 8 weeks, probably more like 4? But I will have to update you all on how I feel in another month or so.

Have you tried this product? What did you think/what do you think? I would love to hear more about your thoughts and other primers you have tried.

Cheeky Bronze By MAC!

I recently self sponsored a little mini haul of cosmetics for myself, since my best friend Summar (check out her blog: https://summarbliss.wordpress.com ) had a 20% of coupon at Belk’s and COSMETICS WERE INCLUDED. Naturally, I had to splurge and indulge myself in cult favorites and restock on items that were dwindling and/or backups – because make up is expensive and sometimes having to pick up an item at the very last minute is not a real possibility. I’ll go through each product individually with a separate post, so I can really spend time discussing what I think about it.

Why my opinion matters: I’ve often wonder why my opinion matters in the realm of beauty, and my opinion matters because I am an unbiased consumer. I have high standards and I expect companies to meet that standard. When I was a little girl, I tried the L’oreal Kids 2 for 1 Shampoo – I remember not liking it and noticing fall out ( I had to have been 12 or 13). So dialed the 1-800 number on the back of the bottle and told L’oreal my thoughts on the product and they felt for my 12/13 year old soul and refunded the purchase price. Companies want to see you happy, and I want to use my beauty blog posts as a vehicle to provide them an objective opinion from an intelligent, beauty obsessed Indian girl!

Why I purchased it: I purchased this product, since I was looking for a bronzer. I had originally purchased the Too Faced Sweet Heart Bronzer (through the ULTA promotion where they were priced at $15 each). I purchased “Peach Beach” and “Something about Berry.” The packaging was soooooooo cute, and the reviews were great, but unfortunately, for my south east Asian, Indian girl glow, the bronzer just looked ashy and weird and powdery. Since I didn’t love the product, I took it back to ULTA. I did love the Too Faced Sweetheart Bronzer because: “Something about Berry” was cute, but the color tones looked incredibly 80’s and clowny; & “Peach Beach” was hardly noticeable. If I were a white girl, perhaps the product would have been great, but alas I’m an exotic, golden tone Indian girl, and it just didn’t work.

Like I stated earlier, I went to the mall with Summar, and she told me about the MAC Bronzer’s – so I tried them and OMG – I LOVE CHEEKY BRONZE. It just worked. It embellished my skin tone and added this glow. I received compliments from her and another girlfriend of mine the next week (this specific girlfriend prefers a more natural look). Confession: I have been loving the brozner so much that I’ve been wearing it to work everyday for a week and half.

I think if you’re in the market for a bronzer and you’re south east Asian or have a more olive undertone this is a color you should try. A good primer will help make the bronzer last through out the day, and the consistency is something I really appreciate about the product.

HELP -TOO FACED PALETTE ISSUES: WHICH ONE?

Hey Beauty Gurus, Beauty Bloggers and Addicts,

I have a feeling I want to purchase one of the Too Faced Chocolate Bar Palettes, but I am so confused by which one to purchase?

Do any of you have a favorite? I tried the first one and LOVED IT, but here is the thing the Semi-Sweet Chocolate Bar has an amazing color selection as well. I do not want to purchase both, since my life as a lawyer is not TOO exciting, and I feel like the colors are very similar so it would be like buying the same thing twice, but they are different enough for me to warrant a request by you to determine which one I should purchase!

Please help!

The Georgia Bar Is Under My Belt

(I WROTE THIS POST THE DAY AFTER I TOOK THE JULY 2014 GA BAR. I didn’t want to jinx myself – so I decided I’d post it, if I passed – and THANKFULLY I did. I hope the advice is relevant and you can learn from my mistakes. Also, hard work is a great way to get over hard luck – I PROMISE)

Hey Friends,

I took the Georgia Bar this past Tuesday and Monday. I thought I would blog about my experience so you could learn from my mistakes and, also, learn things that I did right!

First, PLEASE fill out your character and fitness forms during the first week of November. Do it during the weekend. Just do it. You will save $400 by turning in the required materials prior the early registration date. $400. Not $4, but $400.

Second, once you know for sure you are taking the Georgia bar, GET A HOTEL ROOM. (click on this link to get one that is walking distance to the testing site).

Third, pay for your bar class. You will definitely need a bar class, just pay for it already. Try get the most bang for you buck by trying to get all of those deals they offer.

Fourth, study. So here is the thing with the bar, you literally get 2 months to study for it At the beginning you feel like you have a world’s amount of time — but here is the thing — you don’t. 70 days left will soon dwindle down to 3, 2, & 1. I’m not saying to spend 8-6 hours studying. I’m saying, go to the library with our outline book, and make flashcards for half of the outline everyday, or a third of the outline! When you go to the library, do not bring your laptop or your cell phone. Just your book, get it down. NO DISTRACTIONS. Study with a friend — sit near a friend — just don’t spend your whole day talking to them, bring ear plugs. Have a plan.

Fifth, remember to read sample essays on the GA Bar website! Writing the essays is very formulaic. “The issue is ______. The law in GA is_______. Analysis.”

Sixth, just relax, and enjoy your evening and meals. I ate out A LOT during bar prep, primarily because it allowed me to be social and meet up with friends. Try and be healthy about it (I wasn’t — and it shows LOL). Work out with friends or after bar prep.

I wish I had more advice for you, but the bar is just about studying, learning the law. Don’t buy a THOUSAND things to help you study or read a thousand of blog posts about passing the bar: you’re just wasting time with more stuff, and you’re probably going to feel incredibly overwhelmed. These bar classes are thousands of dollars, I promise they contain all of the material you will need to help you pass the bar.

Don’t make me BLUSH: Tarte Pin up Girl Amazonian Clay 12-hour Blush Palette

Hey Friends,

For my Birthday (which was a while ago) a friend purchased this beautiful Tarte Pin Up Girl Amazonian Clay 12-hour Blush Palette. I do not own too many palettes, just a few eye palettes, so this was an awesome addition to my collection! Prior to the addition of the Tarte Palette I owned: Bobbi Brown “Spice,” BareMinerals “ French Kiss” & a Stila “Coral” pH Blush. I definitely did not own an overwhelming amount, but I had some good options for an everyday look & an evening look.

One aspect of blush that I never considered could be displaced, was the fact that the blush I would wear at 8:30am was gone by 12pm (with or without primer)! I never considered it a problem; it was just a fact of life.

So now getting back to this Tarte palette, as I said, a friend got it for me for my birthday, naturally when she gave it to me, I HAD to swipe it on- even if it meant wearing an intense pink blush while hiking–which was exactly the case here. I took my blush brush and swiped the color I wanted and began dabbing it on my cheeks.

WELL FOR STARTERS, ummm.. I guess I have a heavy hand, but this little dab ended up being a lot – so a very light hand is needed to get the optimal amount (SCORE)!

Second, the color payoff was amazing! I love the way it looked on my skin tone, making this palette an incredibly South East Asian friendly!

Third, so as I said before, I literally wore blush on a hike, hours later we had a photo session and the BLUSH was still on and still looking good!

I love makeup and I obviously love blush. I think it is a very rare occasion that I apply makeup without using blush, like very, VERY, very, rare occasion. Ever since I was gifted this palette, I honestly can’t remember where I placed the other blushes – so that is very telling about how much I love this palette. I hope you can get your hands on one and I hope you can try it out. I realize that it may be sold out now, but hey Amazon –Ebay could lead you to this awesome palette.

Peace & Love

Favorite Matte Lipstick: Sephora Collection- Color Lip Last

Hey Friends,

I’m probably sure I have posted about this earlier, but I seriously have a favorite matte lipstick brand, and it is something I’m sure your eyes have glossed over while you made your routine Sephora trip: Sephora Brand- Color Lip Last Collection (http://www.sephora.com/color-lip-last-P313004?skuId=1389147). My obsession started when I purchased the Pure Red and then continued with my next purchase of a color whose name I cannot remember, and then with my latest purchase of Burgundy Spirit (which, by the way, was sold out for 5 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!).

The reason I love these colors and this collection is because the colors go on vibrant, and literally stay on all day. I mean 9am – 3pm at least. I also like them because they do not run, and they don’t end up on my teeth like other products.

I’ve tried other matte brands like Revlon/Covergirl, and my main issue is that when it dries it flakes, and when it flakes I, literally, go CRAZY: I end up trying to apply more and it flakes more -it is just a vicious cycle, and I’m never happy an hour after I’ve applied the product. On the other hand, this Sephora product by no way feels nourishing (but can with a dab of Carmex), but it does apply well and it does not flake!!

The price point is another reason I continuously go back and purchase this item as well. Unlike the ridiculous price points of its competitors (not naming names but $24 -$30…. I do not THINK SO), the Sephora Color Lip Last is only $13 per stick. Making it affordable to indulge in a whole array of colors, and not just settle for one color.

Have you tried this product? If so, what did you think?

Designated Driver: My DD RANT

Hello Subscribers & Randoms,

It has been a HOT minute since I have been blogging, but I promise I’m back and will try to post more regularly, specifically on the weekends.

Unfortunately, I’m blogging for all the wrong reasons today, because today I’m going to just RANT.

As most of you know, I’m Muslim and I choose not to consume alcohol or do drugs. Being the sober one out of a group of many means I always usually drive. I use to never think about it too much, since the perks of driving are great. My friends and I get to arrive together, and I get the benefit of leaving when I desire. This does not mean everyone leaves when I want to, but I never have to worry about flagging down a taxi or waiting for someone to give me a ride, when all I want to do was go home and sleep!

When I initially got to law school I did not mind being the DD, but I unfortunately had this friend & another “friend’ who would always assume I would pick them up or drop them off, and it got UNDER MY SKIN. I would always ask or suggest it to be polite, but she always seemed to accept my offer, and she never seemed to realize how inconvenient it was for me – or other things like gas I was consuming with countless trips to get her/drop her off (them off). The irony is when I stopped being DD, we stopped hanging out as much, I mean she made other friends as well, but the two did occur around the same time — we may have drifted because I was no longer her DD. I would hate to think our friendship for that period of time was based on me being a DD, but it was a part of it.

She was also friends with another girl, who was just as inconsiderate as her. When we would be out late at night I would offer, but each time she would accept. I guess I offered each time, because I thought she was a girl and it was unsafe for her to ride in a taxi alone – so I too felt like it was warranted, but at the end I realized that they would never think about me, to the extent I thought about them, and frankly it’s annoying.

Do people ever realize that when I’m driving them around it is a liability? I could get into a wreck- damage my car, while they just got the benefit or burden of sympathizing with me for a few minutes. Did they ever think about my commute which was extended, due to their inconsiderateness – or that now I was going to be arriving back at home even later than anticipated? Hello – DRUNK DRIVERS.

I am sure they did not. Simple minds, cannot conjure deep thoughts.

Venting about it is not mature, but I am sure knowing you are not alone, is comforting. It is something that often comforts me when things go wrong, and knowing that I am not the only person who has to deal with tough situations. After being removed from the situation for about 2 years, current me would tell former me to ask them to meet me at my place or express my concerns. Ask that I drive their cars instead. I would also request they Uber back home – it is relatively safe and they can text me when they arrive home.

I would tell my former self, no one will care about you like your parents or you. People will do what is easy for them – because it is self serving, and it’s okay to be SELFISH, because at the end of the day someone is going to be selfish, and I would rather it be me if it will protect me from potential bodily injury.

What do you think? Have you been in this situation?

Peace & Love.

Oil Cleansing Method: I am a believer.

I have been loving my skin lately. I have written many posts on products I have been using on my facial skin, since I have been seeing great results.

For some reason, these past few months, I have become intimidated by the idea of looking old, and getting wrinkles. I am only 25, but the fear is REAL. I sincerely want to look young forever, or at least help my skin slow down the process. Some people look great with age (#krisjenner), but, unfortunately, I am not trying to get Botox (yet) nor am I trying to get plastic surgery (since I have this theory that when you age on top of plastic surgery, you just end up looking really odd).

Okay, done bantering. So what is this OIL CLEANSING METHOD I speak of? How can you make it apart of your skincare routine? Here is a quick YouTube video on it:

My routine is incredibly similar, except I use organic coconut oil. I usually wash my face with warm water prior to using the oil mixture (60% coconut oil mixed with 40% castor oil –I have oily skin). I will dry my face thoroughly, since water and oil don’t mix, and after drying it I will rub in the oil all over my face!

Short on time: I will use a wash cloth and use the method shown in CloudyApples’ video!

Time to indulge: If I have 10 to 15 minutes to spare, then before starting the process, I will put water to boil in a kettle, then I’ll do the steps listed above, in regards to massaging the oils in my face. After the water boils I will put it in a plastic container, and steam my face!

I steam my face just like the girl in the above video. I do not do it for 15 minutes, because I do not have the patience to sit for that long – more like 5 minutes -10 minutes! Also, I do not partake in the lemon -cotton ball situation, but I may try it in the future (I’ll let you know if I do, and my thoughts on it).

After steaming my face, I simply rinse my face with cold water to close up the pores & then pat my face dry! Remember, after doing all of these steps you may have a little excess oil on your face – don’t worry you are fine!

One great side affect I noticed through trying out this method was that my skin was less oily the day after I did the method. Usually around 3:00 pm my skin is super greasy and could use an oil blotting sheet, but the day after using this cleanse, I notice my skin is more balanced – it’s obviously not dry, but it is definitely producing less oil than it normally does!

Have you tried the Oil Cleansing Method? Do you love it as much as I do?

Ru San’s: 1529 Piedmont Ave NE Atlanta, GA 30324

Back in 2010 a dear friend of mine took me to Ru San’s in Charlotte. She claimed it was a “hole in the wall” sushi place & that it was awesome. We went – I loved it. Fast forward a year later, I moved to Atlanta and saw 3 Ru San’s (Piedmont, Edgewood & Buckhead) — so yeah not really a “hole in the wall” sushi place, but it’s still great, affordable, sushi!

I went a few weeks ago, but never uploaded the pictures. I wish I had taken a few more pictures of the sushi plates we ordered and a picture of the miso soup, but unfortunately when the food came out, my mind went off track and went into “stuff your face mode” — which is a hard mode to exit. Luckily for you, I did take two pictures -so enjoy!

Some quick tips: the Piedmont location is on the 2nd floor of the plaza, it’s pretty casual – but if you wanted to get dressed up you would not look to out of place. They have other dishes like ramen, udon & rice dishes. I have only ordered sushi & miso soup – so I can only comment on what I thought about those items (I obviously love them). The venue can accommodate large parties and you don’t need a reservation!

Have you been to Ru San’s? What did you think?

Summer is ending – but you still need SUNSCREEN!

I am sure you already know this – but you “like” have to wear sunscreen every single freaking day. “Like” seriously. Have you seen this video:

So, by now, you’re about to run out to your nearest CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, etc. to go buy some, but which one should you buy?!?

I have tried a few sunscreens over the past few years: Oil of Olay, Neutrogena & Suntegrity.

I didn’t like wearing Oil of Olay, since I felt like it made my skin extremely oily. I did like Neutrogena, specifically the Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch Sunscreen & Triple Age Repair Moisturizer Broad Spectrum. I LOVED Suntegrity.

I liked Suntegrity over Neutrogena, because I felt like the formula was thicker and effective. I liked the Neutrogena formula because it was thin, but unfortunately, upon further contemplation -perhaps the Neutrogena Triple Age Repair was TOO thin. I like the Triple Age Repair, and even felt like it helped with my complexion, but I wanted the consistency to be thicker. I think both products are great, I use both often, but when the sun is blazing, I find myself turning to Suntegrity.

One thing I love about Suntegrity & Neutrogena: it did NOT make my face oily.

One aspect of Suntegrity I do not like is the PRICE. Paying $24 -$36 for sunscreen is a lot. Unfortunately, I feel like they can up charge, due to the lack of competition in the all natural, vegan, UV chemical-free, and mineral sunscreen category. Even though I paid a premium, I’m only half way through my bottle, and have had the same bottle for one year (a little goes a long way). If you’re in the market for a new sunscreen, I suggest you check out the Neutrogena ones listed (since you can return them if you it doesn’t work out)! Not sure what the return policy is for Suntegrity, but I am serious when I say I strongly recommend this product. I just told a close friend a week ago about it via text — hence I had the idea to write a post on sunscreen!

To find out more about Suntegrity, or the product I purchased click here!

What sunscreens have you been using? Do you have any recommendations?!

Stressed Out? EMBRACE IT!

My pretty little kitty is relaxing away, while the world around her is stressing out!

I am sorry I have been so slack about writing, but my parents are moving to Stuttgart, Germany for a year! Although I am incredibly excited about their future adventures, there is a ton of chores and donations that need to be made prior to them leaving. I have been furiously packing, cleaning, and donating for the past few days.

On to more important things – a few days ago I read an AWESOME article in my Oprah Magazine (July 2014 issue). The article was about stress & how to combat it and reframe it Navy SEAL style! I thought I would share/summarize the four points in the article, since we can all learn a few things about combating stress.

Prepare for Battle. Think about all of the possible outcomes of your stressful situation and how you would deal with them. For example, do you have a meeting with your boss tomorrow? What is the worse thing your boss could say? What could your boss say to make you feel uncomfortable? Prepare by coming up with a response, or telling yourself to stay silent and not make up excuses.
Talk Yourself Up. Positive self talk is INCREDIBLY important. So you did not land the promotion – you’re still amazing – duh. You’re beautiful, confident, smart, hardworking and are really good at analyzing The Bachelorette (LOL). Make yourself laugh, and think about how you’re contributing positively to the world – (I see you recycling)!
Embrace the Suck. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POINT. I’m going to quote the article because it could not have been said in a better way: “‘When the weather is foul and nothing is going right, that’s when I think, Now we’re getting someplace!’ . . .the . . . suckiest moments are when most people give up; the resilient ones spot a golden opportunity to surpass their competitors . . . ‘it’s one thing to be an excellent athlete when the conditions are perfect,’ . . . ‘But when the circumstances aren’t so favorable, those who have stronger wills are more likely to rise to victory.”
Take a Deep Breath. Breathe in four counts. Breathe out four counts. It will calm you down, and allow you to open up to more intuitive thoughts! I love taking deep breaths. I learned that deep breathing can even help minimize pain –ladies remember to breathe when you’re getting all waxed up, or doing a difficult workout set at the gym. Deep breathing works well when you can tell you’re feeling emotional too — and trust me I know this from first hand experience.

I hope you’re able to take away something from my small post & I hope next time you’re stressed out you tell yourself, “Bring it on!”

Talk to you later!

Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay

Have you guys heard of the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay? Well, if you have not don’t feel weird about it, because up until the beginning of June 2014, I had no idea what it was either!

How I found out about it: One of my favorite YouTube personalities GeekChic01, “Irene Sarah,” had vlogged about her current skincare routine, and in the vlog she talk about a mask that “pulsates.” I was immediately intrigued and took to the internet to do research on it, and also looked at many of the over 1400+ Amazon five star reviews.

What did I learn from my research:

The Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay is made from 100% Bentonite Clay.
Bentonite Clay when mixed with liquid develops a mild electrical charge that aids the clay in attracting impurities in the skin tissues and keeping them attach to the clay, and not get reabsorbed by the skin.
Depending on your skin type bentonite clay may dry your skin out, so remember to apply a moisturizer
- or you could mix the bentonite clay with milk, instead of water or organic apple cider vinegar.
Many people claim the best results with Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (I ONLY use the mask with Organic Apple Cider Vinegar).
Mix the product in glass or plastic, do NOT USE METAL (it apparently de-charges the clay)
Amazon Review link: click HERE

How to apply the clay mask:

Start with mixing equal portions of the clay with the mixing substance, if you want a thicker mask, then simply add more of the powder. (put it on your face, neck, back, upper arms – go crazy girl)
Place the mask on your face, focusing on covering problem areas with a little more of the clay mixture (1/4 of an inch thick).
Leave it on your face for at least 25 mins — 40 mins PERFECT –1 hour (amazing – and now take it off!)
While it’s on your face, do not talk or move your face to much. The clay will begin to harden in about 3-5 minutes.
Once you’re ready to remove it, do not head to the sink instead grab a grocery bag and try and peel a little bit of the mask that comes off easily and effortlessly– do not TUG on your face.
To remove the clay that did not come off effortless: grab a wash cloth, place it under warm to mildly hot water (DO NOT USE A TEMPERATURE THAT WILL BURN YOUR FACE OR SOMETHING THAT IS HOT, just something that is a little bit more than warm).
1. Wet the cloth
2. Place the cloth over your face
3. Leave it on your face for 30 seconds, now gently swipe your face.
4. Do these steps 3 or 4 times, and you’ll be good to go!
Splash some cold water on your face after fully removing the clay mask
Now moisturize your face

Side Notes:

This mask is a clay mask, so it is thick & will clog your sink if you do not dispose of it accordingly. That is why I recommend placing as much of the mud mask in the grocery bag, so you can simply throw it away.
If you mixed the clay in a bowl, then just wait till the mud dries in the bowl and then scrap it out in the trash, instead of cleaning it while it’s wet!
My skin did NOT pulsate (I was a tad excited about this part — unfortunately it did not happen to me, although it did happen to my neighbor)!

My experience: I have had an incredibly positive experience with the clay. I’ve gotten one of my roommates to try it, and I feel like she loves it as much as I do! It is incredibly affordable and allows you to relax for a bit. I, personally, loved doing the mask while I was studying for the bar. I would quickly put the mask on, and then begin studying — it almost made studying for the bar a tad tolerable! It has helped reduce the size on my pores and it did loosen my white/blackheads (I actually don’t have that many blackheads anymore -yay).

I did the mask yesterday and I noticed that a few of my whiteheads had surfaced – I quickly decided to skip the cold water portion of my steps and saturated my nose with mildly hot water, and then applied a pore strip. I waited ten minutes and then GENTLY removed the pore strip! The only things on my nose pore strip were a few whiteheads – no blackheads!

Should you purchase it: YES. As stated, it’s so AFFORDABLE ($7-$12). If organic apple cider vinegar is to harsh for your sensitive skin, just use water or a mixture of the apple cider vinegar and water. Also, if you initially break out, don’t worry – this might be happening because your skin is purging itself of the impurities.

If you’re worried: Obviously consult a doctor immediately. I am not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I am beauty junkie and recent law school graduate – so my advice is limited to my personal results, reviews I have read, and results on friends that have also tried the product with me.

Bye!

Beauty Blender

I have been wanting a Beauty Blender for a while. So a year ago, I decided I would buy the $1 knockoff from China — and I was NOT amused. I thought to myself, “Thank God I didn’t buy the real beauty blender. If this knock off is any indication of the real thing, then I just saved myself $25!”

After further review and investigation via YouTube, I discovered that there are REAL differences between the knockoffs and the real deal.

Many months after discovering there was a real difference between my China Blender via Amazon and the real one, I decided to splurge on the real one via Amazon (I ordered the one with two Beauty Blenders, because it ended up being around $10 a piece, as opposed to $15 per blender).

I noticed the difference between my knockoff and the real Beauty Blender almost INSTANTANEOUSLY. Although they may look like twins from the outside, the knockoff isn’t as sponge-y,definitely tougher, and does not expand with water, while the real Beauty Blender has all three of those qualities! Also, the knockoff doesn’t mold as easily to your face or feel soft on your face, compared to the real Beauty Blender.

Instead of writing a long review I’ll change the format into a question-answer type situation:

Do you like it: YES.
Was it worth the money: YES. I would prefer that it be cheaper, but there are many more pros than cons. For example, you can’t wash a traditional makeup brush everyday — not realistic, due to the fact that I may need to reapply something — and then I wouldn’t be able to, due to a wet brush. You can wash the Beauty Blender effortlessly, while not impeding your ability to use it post wash.
Washing it easy: Yes. Just use the cleanser you use to wash your face or body.
What can you use it for: I use it for my MAC Long Wear foundation & concealer, along with my Kevyn Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer.
Would you buy it again: YES. As stated I really like the ability to clean it — it’s a selling point that should be touted more. There is so much GUNK on our makeup brushes that we just choose to ignore due to our immediate need to apply makeup!
Any suggestions: I wish I had something cute to dry or store my Beauty Blender in/on. I use the packaging it came with it to dry and store it (I got this idea from the videos posted by Beauty Blender, which recommends using their packaging as a way to dry and store your Beauty Blender).

Do you use the Beauty Blender? Have you used a knockoff that was actually comparable to the Beauty Blender? Do you want to splurge on the real one?

Let me know!

Fettuccine Alfredo (with Chicken and Broccoli)

A week or two ago, I really wanted to make something hearty and creamy, and this was one of the first dishes to cross my mind. I thought I would attempt to make it from scratch. I prepared myself mentally to labor over the stove, until I actually started making it and realized how SIMPLE it was to make. All I can say is: WHY DID I EVER BUY THE STUFF IN THE JAR?

I followed Entertaining With Beth’s Recipe, but I did not add peas and I added chicken and broccoli. I loved the way the chicken turned out and I really enjoyed the broccoli with it as well.

This recipe is INCREDIBLY easy, and can be prepared in 15 minutes.

Ingredients:

2 Chicken breasts (cut into cubes)
½ tbsp of garlic powder
½ tbsp of onion powder
½ lb (230 g) Fettuccini pasta
4 tbsp (60 g) butter
1 ½ cups (350 ml) of heavy cream
1 clove garlic, minced
½ tsp (2.5 ml) salt
Freshly cracked pepper to taste
1 cup (90 g) Parmesan cheese, freshly grated
1/3 cup of broccoli florets
1 tbsp (15 ml) of freshly chopped flat leaf parsley

Method:

cook fettuccine according to package
cut the chicken into cubes
now sprinkle onion powder and garlic powder, with a dash of salt & pepper over the chicken
once the chicken is cooked, take the chicken cubes out and place them on a plate (you should have a nice amount of better left in the pan)
on medium heat, in the pan, which has the remaining butter, place the heavy cream in it and let it simmer, until it’s bubbly and thickened
once you see in the bubbles, add the parmesan cheese and mix it well.
now add little pieces of fresh broccoli and let it cook until a pretty green
add chicken and give it a nice stir!
now add the fettuccine
top it all off with a little bit of fresh parsley

Best Steak Marinade Ever

Hey Friends,

As most of you know, I LOVE TO COOK. I should have gone to culinary school, as opposed to law school, because I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH. I was talking to my best friend the other day (she is in medical school) and we spoke of dream careers, as opposed to the ones we are in right now, and hers was MAKE UP ARTIST (“MUA”) (and boy, oh boy, is she fierce with her brushes), and mine was a mix between Food Network/ Cooking Channel Program host and some sort of part time MUA/hairstylist (I didn’t word it this way, but I’m sure my best friend caught on).

I’ve decided to start a series on my blog where I talk about dinners I’m making while studying for the GA Bar. I can’t post as regularly as I would like, but I will try to post once a week!

One of my favorite recipes by far is a marinade from: Sally Cooks.

This is a great marinade for any 4th of July weekend BBQ’s you may have planned. I promise – you will love this marinade – and you will make it again and again and again.

I’ve now made this marinade twice and the portions listed work well for 2 lbs of flank steak!

1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons parsley, finely minced
2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons dijon mustard
2 tablespoons ginger paste
1 tablespoon oregano
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon red pepper
1/2 teaspoon coffee grounds

Sally just whisked all of this together, while on the other hand, I just threw all of the ingredients in the magic bullet. I loved putting in the magic bullet because I got a finer grain as far as a marinade goes and I smothered the meat in this marinade for approximately 24-26 hours.

A few little side notes:

I had the 2 lb flank steak cut into two 1 lb pieces, prior to putting it in the marinade. Then I grilled it on each side for about 4 -5 minutes (medium cooked steak).

After removing the beautiful pieces of flank steak from the grill, I transferred them to a cutting board and placed a piece of aluminum foil over the meat (just place it on top) and let the meat REST for 10 minutes. You want to let the cooked meat rest, so that the flavors of the marinade settle in the meat– if you cut the meat to early, you’ll notice that all of the great flavor will just spew out of the meat.

After 10 minutes, cut the meat against the grain! Look at the meat –see those fine little lines, you want to cut slices that are perpendicular to those little lines! Voila – you’re cutting it against the grain!

I served it with the Akhtar family’s favorite potatoes and coleslaw, corn on the cob, & (not shown-and I cheated a little bit) a Trader Joe’s frozen Mac n’ Cheese. Lets face it- a BBQ is only as good as its sides – so make your favorite sides!

ONE MORE LITTLE NOTE:

I would TOTALLY make an extra pound of meat, so that you can enjoy a skirt steak salad, or a nice sandwich (like I did).

I hope you have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July! What are you planning on grilling — I would LOVE to know (and maybe I’ll add it to my Fourth of July menu).

Bye!

Gardein: Seven Grain Crispy Tenders (Meatless)

I was at Publix a week or two ago and came across these meatless chicken tenders. I’m a sucker for tenders, nuggets and wings, but for some odd reason, if I’m going to prepare frozen tenders myself, I would rather them be meatless, because I, frankly, great freaked out by the chicken used by the manufacturer (how old is this frozen product? was the chicken used all hormoned up? the list goes on and on).

Anyways, I sincerely enjoyed these vegetarian friendly tenders, and would definitely purchase them again! Two tenders amounts to 100 calories (I just had 5 for lunch– 250 calorie lunch for the WIN!)

I hope you check them out!

Quick Fix For Dark Circles, Bags and/or Under Eye Discoloration

I wear Kevyn Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer in SX08

Hey Ladies,

This is my little personal letter to you. I was trying to avoid GA Bar studying today, so I naturally hopped on Facebook. As I scrolled through my newsfeed, which consists of many Indian girls, I noticed that so many of them have such bad bags / dark circles (FYI, I am definitely one of those girls with extremely dark circles, even when I sleep for 10 hours – it’s genetic, hyper pigmentation around that area – I know). What was a tad confusing, was the fact, these girls wear make up, they just did not want to highlight and brighten their under eyes (which to me is like straightening half of your hair and leaving the other half curly/wavy/nappy). I don’t know why they wouldn’t want to conceal their dark circles, but I’ve basically told myself that the reason they’re not taking care of the problem is:

(1) They don’t know they have the problem; and/or

(2) They don’t know how to solve the problem.

How to assess whether you have this problem: get a mirror & look at your face. Is the skin directly under your eye darker than your cheeks? If yes, then you need to focus on concealing the under eye area when you’re doing you’re makeup.

Don’t fret. I am here for you girl! First off, you need real concealer. The liquid or cream stuff will work. The powder concealers are not going to solve your problem (example: using Bare Minerals or Bare Essentials loose powder in a concentrated way, will not help conceal your bags). I would suggest Kevin Aucoin’s Sensual Skin Enhancer or MAC Pro Longwear concealers. These two are both THICK concealers that should do the trick.

As stated, I have dark circles under my eyes, I like the MAC Pro Longwear for daytime and I like the Kevin Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer for nighttime, going out, date night, dinner with friends, any evening event or event where I want to step it up and look my best.

Kevin Aucoin’s Sensual Skin Enhancer is relatively expensive ($48 @ Bloomingdales) , BUT it will last you a long time. To set the concealer (which is a MUST) I use Ben Nye’s Banana Powder (feel free to use any translucent powder you own).

Just remember, you have beautiful eyes — so show them off girl.

Any questions? I’d love to answer them! Also, what’s your favorite concealer? Confused about how to apply concealer just YouTube it!

XOXO

Olay Total Effects Night Firming Treatment (Currently Loving This!)

I wish my blog were popular enough for me to get endorsements or free stuff, because I have seriously been spending way to much of my law school graduation gift funds on beauty products. Not only do I buy these products, but then I end up doing reviews for all my friends, family, and fellow WordPress bloggers – so yeah, it would be nice if I could spend my funds in other areas, but alas, I am a beauty connoisseur. #junkie.

In the middle of May I purchased Olay Total Effects Night Firming Cream, and I must say, I absolutely LOVE IT. I love the way it smells, and I love the current condition of my skin. I am 25 so my skin aging or having fine lines is not a real concern yet, but having an even skin tone and clearing up imperfections (dark spots & acne scars) and just giving me soft, pretty looking skin, is something I really love.

After wearing the night treatment for a month, I woke up this morning washed my face and looked in the mirror and said “Why do I wear so much foundation? This is looking good.” LOL. I then proceeded out of my bathroom and made some coffee and started my Kaplan Bar Review videos. I wanted to wait till I finished my Bar Review videos to blog about the product, but I seriously can’t contain myself with how happy I am with the results!

Things I love about it:

The results. Duh. I would say about one week in I noticed that this was actually working, and now 4 weeks in I’m clearly head over heels.
The immediate soft feel of the lotion. Enough said.
The smell. I love the light smell. I know that some people hate it when their night creams smell good, but I love it! I feel all fresh and clean.

Con:

I feel like I should give you a con, because I just gave you the pros, but it’s a little difficult and I’m seriously going to give you really pathetic cons, that are extremely DE MINIMIS:

Sometimes I’ll wake up and get the urge to put more on since I will feel like my skin has consumed all the product (so maybe what I’m implying is I want it to be thicker?)
I’ll apply a thicker application under my eyes, and instead of being absorbed I’ll get white residue under my eye.
The price point is actually annoying. I hate pay $17.49 for the product.

The only true con is the price, but it is still considerably cheaper than other night creams, so I am going to keep the complaining to a minimum. If you’re interested in trying the product out here is a link: http://www.target.com/p/olay-total-effects-anti-aging-night-firming-treatment-1-7-oz/-/A-10910238

Tell me what you think about! I am curious to know what night creams you guys use, and what night creams worked or did not work for you.

Keep me posted. Xoxo

Omaha Breakfast Highlight: OVER EASY (16859 Q Street Omaha, NE 68135)

http://www.overeasyomaha.com

Naturally loved every bite of this meal. If you’re new to Omaha or are visiting for the weekend check this cutesy place out!

Cosmetics Haul!

A week a go a friend texted me about helping her purchase a starter’s kit of makeup! I quickly replied with “YES, WHEN DO YOU WANT TO GO?!”

Long story short her starter kit had the basics (I wish I had taken a picture of it):

BareMinerals starter collection: foundation, concealer, mineral veil, brightener and brushes!
Mac Lipstick (nothing bright, or dark – also not nude, but a light subtle berry shade)
Maybelline Falsies Mascara
Revlon Eyebrow Pencil with setting gel
Revlon liquid liner

ITEMS I PURCHASED:

As you know I recently graduated (see last post), I have been dying to try a few beauty products like the Kevin Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer & a liquid foundation (I’ve never really tried one before).

I have to say — I loved the Kevin Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer in x08. Although the little jar is expensive ($48), everyone on social media has a legitimate point: a little goes a long way. After barley dabbing my brush into the pot, I had enough product to cover my under eyes, nose, forehead, & chin. As I learn to play with it, I will post more pictures of the product, and even maybe a guide on how to use it for first timers.

(I used Kevin Aucoin’s Sensual Skin Enhancer under my eyes, on the bridge of my nose, cupid’s bow and chin. I blended it with a Beauty Blender dupe, which I purchased from Amazon. I have on Mac Pro Long Wear foundation, along with a brown powder for contouring, Blush & Lipstick from BareMinerals and my eye look was created using the BALM)

One other point, I really like the coverage it provides. It’s an full coverage concealer, unlike my MAC prolong concealers (I purchased this as well in NC 42), which are build-able. At the same time, the product is also light. It’s something you’ll have to try out to fully understand.

As far as liquid foundation goes, I decided to go with Mac’s liquid foundation. It is such a trusted brand and a personal favorite — I had to. I did contemplate getting the BareMinerals Liquid Foundation, but I opted not to after reading reviews on it via Sephora.

I purchased some other staples:

Rimmel’s Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal ( it initially bleeds easily, so I would set it with a black eyes shadow. I used this technique in the picture above on me and the girl in the middle — this picture was taken 2 hours into the night!)
Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner
Acne Wash Target Brand (It’s a dupe for Neutrogena’s Pink Grapefruit Foaming Scrub)
Olay Total Effects 7 in one Anti Aging Night Firming Treatment
False Lashes from Eylure

Okay friends, I’m off! TTYL!

Law School Graduation

Hey Friends,

I just graduated law school this past MONDAY! I cannot believe it. Wow. Although, academically, these were the toughest three years, personally they were the most influential. I came in as a girl, and I’m leaving a woman. I learned about fake friends, people who will do anything to get ahead, people who will be there for you when they have a million things going on, hard work/working SMART, having fun, cherishing the people that keep you sane, and protecting your health.

At times, I was incredibly skeptical about my education, but I feel lucky to have gotten a Juris Doctor, since it affects the way I interact with the world, and allows me the ability to hone in on a multitude of conclusions that could occur.

If I had to go through law school again what would I do differently?

I finished law school on a strong note, so I wish from the get go, I made my own outlines or used others in conjunction with my notes, since that was something I failed to do as a 1L and relied heavily on commercial outlines and tabbing supplements.
I wish I wrote down most class discussions and case briefs that we discussed in class, as opposed to hopping on G-chat, and thinking that “I’ve read the case, so I know it.” I am human and I only have the ability to remember so much, without a trigger.
Developing a strong relationship with a professor in a field you like is something you should do very early on. By developing a relationship, you work harder to prove yourself, and they can also attempt to help you with your job search in the field.
Networked during my first year of law school. Networking is a such a vague term, so I will break it down for you in another post.
I wish I ran everyday, even for 5 minutes & I wish I ate a light lunch. Eating a light lunch will enable you to be more productive during the day and not feel so sleepy.
I wish there was a way to avoid being addicted to coffee. My name is Maheen and I am addicted to coffee.
Respect and make time for my parents a little bit more. I love them so much, and without them attending law school would not have been possible. They’re constantly love me, motivating me, and providing me with my lifestyle. I wish I sent them a few more thank you cards, a few more gifts, and a gave them a few extra minutes on the phone.
As far as my friends and special ones, I wish that I could keep a lid on my mouth when I was stressed. I often overreacted and said things that I regret. I love them to pieces and it would really break my heart if they thought I sincerely meant those rude things. I am an idiot sometimes, so working on managing my stress is something that I will actively work on as far as life goes.
(I’ll add to this list as I think of more things)

I hope you can learn from my mistakes. I have this little mantra that goes: if I can do it, so can you! I know that you can succeed in ANYTHING you do! Just work hard, I promise.

Union Station Hotel in Nashville, Autograph Collection

Have you been to the Union Station Hotel in Nashville? I recently got to check it out and, needless to say, I loved it. Although, I did find the space awkward for a wedding, I did love the space and all of the unique and detailed moldings around the hotel.

I love the candles on the mantle

I assume the table is where the bride, bridegroom & special guests will be seated (parents or maid of honor/bridesmaid/groomsmen).

The issue I have with a wedding in the beautiful venue is the lack of control on the ingress/egress of people. Hotel patrons can come in, check in & dine at the Hotel’s restaurant while your ceremony is occurring. Something about that seems unnatural, out of place, and incredibly impersonal to me. Hypothetically (and realistically), random strangers could be checking into their room as the couple ties the knot. Any how, great space — maybe just not the appropriate wedding venue.

Halal Drinks (Mocktails) & Law School Prom!

Hey Friends!

I might have said this in a former post, but I do not drink alcohol! Not drinking alcohol, and maintaining a social life sometimes seems counterintuitive, and sometimes it is awesome. For example, I remember almost every moment out: the good, the bad, the boring, & the ugly. I am also able to leave whenever I want. Seeing as I live in ATL, I literally have to drive everywhere, so not having to share a cab with friends, or waiting around for Uber is a plus!

(Featured drink from Noche: Virgin Margarita)

Some of my favorite Halal Drink options / Mocktails when I’m out are: Diet Coke, Virgin Margarita, Virgin Shirley Temple, Virgin Mojito (read the ingredients — if it’s a mix pass — but if they’re putting in fresh mint and lemon in your drink, with cane sugar— definitely don’t pass), Sparkling water w/cranberry juice or Spirit with Grapefruit juice. Although, I almost always get a Diet Coke (hello — I’m counting calories people), it’s always fun to try something different.

I had law school prom (aka: Barrister’s Ball) a few weeks ago, here is a picture of the event! I’m the girl to the left. I bought my dress from ZARA during their Winter Sale. The dress was a size too big, but I took to my local tailor, who did a great job tightening it up. The belt I’m wearing in the middle is from Forever 21. I bought it in the fall of 2010 for $10-$15? I love the belt, it seriously helps jazz up any outfit! You can’t see this, but I’m wearing, NineWest, black peeps toe pumps! Here are some of the outfits the other girls wore! I hope this helps you gauge what to wear to your prom!

Asian Lettuce Wraps!

I just made these & they’re incredibly delicious! Feel free to follow her recipe. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

Beth’s Thai Coconut Soup (Tom kha kai Recipe)!

Buying the ingredients to make this during the weekend! Will report on how it tastes!

March 17, 2014: So I made it, and LOVED IT! It was so tasty and soooooo good! I halved the recipe and also used regular coconut milk!

Cut you with Kisses

I cut you with kisses

to free you from the thoughts of your mind

free from the thoughts that confine you in time

open you to a new world

you’re safe

you’re mine

I cut you with kisses

to free you

from the thoughts of your mind

free you from everything that keeps you from being completely mine

Coronavirus

The weird thing about Coronavirus is that you have no idea who is going to get it or what the effects will be on you. This virus is something out of a sci-fi novel – coming to life and unfolding – in real time.

I wish I could tell you that I was cool, calm and collected during this time, but that would be a complete lie.

I have days where I don’t let it affect me, and I put my head down and just work away, and other days I think about it affecting me and me dying.

Like yesterday before I went to bed I thought to myself, out of all of my family members, I was in a good position to be the chosen one to die. I had no kids. My husband was young enough to get remarried. We lease our home, so when the lease ended it could help with overcoming the loss of his wife, and he could start new somewhere else in town and limit my memories.

I remember that all things that come in this world, must leave this world. Just like grandparents and pets. You can love them, hold them tight, but one day they become memories.

My faith is even more strengthened by these events. Yesterday I attended a “houseparty” ladies halaqa. We talked about how we need to act with kindness and that everything happening right now was a part of God’s plan. It was our duty to interrupt these catastrophic events in a light that allowed us to add the most value, and to make sure we showed kindness and humility for everything wonderful in our lives.

Late at night it got me thinking. All I really needed was my sweet husband (being able to hug him was particularly important to me), knowing my family was safe, and having my iPhone and data plan working! I girl needs to Facetime her people.

For some reason I really want to cry while writing this post. I just remind myself that this virus doesn’t change too much. Death could come knocking at my door any day, any moment, any second. I just pray I have done enough kind and sweet things to where my creator blesses me in the afterlife.

I pray the people I love know from the bottom of their hearts that i loved them deeply and truly. Everyday was a blessing. Even days I perceived to be the worst, they were amazing and I knew how blessed I was when I encountered these tough days. I want everyone to know that for every tough thing that happened to me, a few weeks or months later I get the greatest blessings every. single. time. I believed in a loving God and this God, always chose to love and continuously bless me and I was aware of that in every single thing I did (every day I went to work, came home to my loving husband, called his parents or my parents, spoke to friends and used my credit cards to make the most mundane purchases). If something bad did happen to me I pray that everyone’s life goes back to normal. They make the most of each day. Laugh out loud, hug, and show all of the emotions. I pray I don’t take up any more time. I’ll see them sooner rather than later 🙂 in a place where there are no counting calories and pure bliss is everywhere.

I sort of turned this into my eulogy. Which is super weird. But, I think that posting this will be a reminder of how I felt during these strange times our world was facing. What mattered to me the most when things were unpredictable. How I loved my creator and I know that everything sour can present sweet moments and revelations. I’m not sure what life will be like after the “virus”, but I know that at some point things will go back to normal, because that is life. My new normal will probably include a lot more homecooked meals, more walks with my husband (growing family too iA), a house on a lake with a resort style pool (gotta dream), and a home with 3 bedrooms on the first floor (honestly this seems like the bigger dream)!

Now – time for me to get back to work! I love each and everyone of you (I only have about 5 readers). I want everyone to know that I value the fact that you have spent your valuable time reading my thoughts. I pray that you get everything wonderful and sweet in your life. I pray that you are blessed with true love, kindness, empathy, compassion and vigor. I pray that you stay safe, sane and healthy.

Love always,

Maheen

The Evolution of Halloween

If you’re looking for some story on how Halloween came about – this is NOT it. If you’re looking for an inside look how Halloween has evolved for me – then you are in the right place.

0-13 = cute costumes purchased at Party City or Target

14-17 = home made conservative-ish costumes

18-21 = trying to be sexy costumes

22 = the forgotten year

23-26 = home made costumes that were pretty cute.

27-29= forgotten years.

30-??? = The strong women series (i.e. costumes that are anything but sexy.Re: Frida Khalo, SCOTUS RBG, Kim K., Oprah, Amelia Earhart, etc.).

Did you have a similar evolution???

Socially Conscious Instagrammers

So a recent feud broke down on Instagram between two desi vloggers & Instagrammers: Maryam Shah and Irene Mahmud Khan.

I have a full time job, so I mean I couldn’t keep up with ALL of the details, but here is a summary of what I think happened:

Maryam posted a beautiful picture of herself with her husband and then discussed the trial and tribulations of being on her menstrual cycle and having a supportive husband that she can be open with, and how we all need to be more open about our body issues with the men in our lives.

When I saw the picture posted – I, myself, was on my cycle, so I sent it to my husband. We share a lot of things, and I thought it was nice for him to know this stuff happens and I’m not that only girl that goes crazy, and the whole “having to keep your period ‘hush- hush'” was definitely something I know all about since it was literally one of the 1st 20 things my mom told about “periods”. The advice or the message was: “keep this hidden from your father and brother – you shouldn’t be telling people you’re on your period”.

I am LITERALLY obsessed with my mother- I talk to her 2 or 3 times a day, but by the time I was 14 years old, I realized her advice sucked and made me feel really insecure about something that was so natural. So I told myself (and maybe even told my best friend Summar) that when I have a daughter who starts her menstrual cycle, I was going to make it a PARTY. Something that she was super excited about. I was going to have a basket full of goodies (razor blades, fun pads and tampons, spa appointment, bath salts, maybe even a cupcake and a fun bra), so she would know this is such an exciting time in her life!

OKAY, so going back to the STORY. Apparently, as it turns out, the details that Maryam shared in her caption were embellished for story telling purposes, which purpose translates to more views and followers on the platform.

Then a day or two later, Maryam posted another photo with a caption stating she was “authentic”.

Then on that picture Irene commented that if she [Maryam] were really that authentic then why had she drafted several captions regarding the “period post” and selected the caption she thought would be the most well received.

There were some other comments tangled in the thread, but as stated I have job and limited time to keep up with things in real time.

Later during the evening or the next day? On Irene’s Instagram story she summarized the feud and asked her followers a series of questions (I am summarizing my interpretations of the questions):

is it an influencer’s responsibility to be socially conscious?
if people are allowed to call out brands on their lack of consciousness, then why aren’t they allowed to call out individuals?

I’m not taking a side, because I do not know all the facts and also EVERYONE is entitled to an opinion and everyone is allowed to hustle, so either way, do your things ladies. But I really want to analyze and unpack the questions above, because I’m not sure a poll on Instagram has the ability to flesh out what is really being as considered.

In addressing the first question, is it an influencer’s responsibility to be socially conscious? This is SUCH A TOUGH QUESTION. I can safely assume that both girls became influencers because they consistently post pictures, are pretty and comfortable exposing their lives. I mean I have been following Irene since I was 16 or 17, I found her Xanga and LOVED all of her pictures. I loved how she put together fun outfits and how she posted pictures (this was before Facebook had “albums” or even before I had a Facebook account). I didn’t follow her because she took stances on social issues. She later joined YouTube and it was about her journey as a photographer, and then it became a tutorial spot, and now a more sponsored tutorial spot.

About 2 or 3 months ago I found Maryam’s Instagram page. I mean she was pretty, so I followed her. Ugh. I wish I had a better reason. Apparently, some people I know, know her, but I followed her because she takes pretty picture and, during lunch, when I am scrolling down Instagram I like thinking about my life in an alternate universe where I look super pretty all the time and drink lattes with pretty foam imagery around 11am, work from home, and go on strolls with my dog midday.

I do not put any sort of onus on either of them for conveying politically correct messages, because being “politically correct” is a like trying to jump on a moving pendulum: One day it’s okay to say one thing and another day that same thing is as bad as a curse word!

That being said, when you know someone is being mean, you know someone is being mean & when you know someone should have put more thought into something and willfully decided not to, it rubs you the wrong way.

I think these girls have a social responsibility to not be racist, sexist or tunnel visioned. With their followings I think they have to champion a few causes that are near and dear to them.

I think they should not be tasked with being aware, championing or even understanding EVERY SINGLE CAUSE, because that is a huge burden and responsibility. In the real world, we wouldn’t ask any one do the same, and we always need to remember why they got to where they are – if we wanted someone to be more in touch with certain political or cultural messages, then we shouldn’t turn to self proclaimed Makeup Gurus or Creative Consultants.

I acknowledge I did not answer the first question. My goal is to make sure you understand that putting this sort of responsibility on influencers is tough because it is such a grey area. It honestly depends on how blatant and obnoxious the message is. Someone, somewhere, is ALWAYS going to be offended, but it’s important to understand how willful and wanton, or how recklessly careless the influencer was when they said what they said.

Now to the second question, if people are allowed to call out brands on their lack of consciousness, then why aren’t they allowed to call out individuals?

So Irene stated that when H&M received a lot of backlash for their Monkey hoodie influencers and bloggers from everywhere came out to give H&M and PIECE OF THEIR MIND. I am so THANKFUL that people did this! I understand that there is a lot of hurt that some people felt when they saw the ad, I also understand that there are people that probably didn’t understand all of the hurt. I think the hurt could have been limited by making sure the ad campaigns were staffed with a team of people from diverse backgrounds. I am sure if this protocol was taken then someone, if they were in an environment where discourse wasn’t prohibited, could have felt comfortable speaking up and acknowledging that this MAY NOT BE A GOOD LOOK.

That being said, companies like H&M have hundreds and thousands of employees, so the burden to understand when the offend a sizable portion of the population is greater, than when one girl, running a one woman show, says something offensive.

Also, blaming and targeting a company is so DIFFERENT from blaming and targeting an individual. All of those people at H&M get to take a little bit of the blame. As opposed to here, where all of it just falls on one person. I think WE have an active duty to understand that people make mistakes, when you are an influencer don’t you think you ought to understand that concept. Privately messaging the girl would have been a good solution, but just calling her out seems mean. You’ve been in this persons shoes, and you can relate to having done something dumb or at least the idea of having done something dumb. A one-on-one message would have been the kinder way, because she is a human and not a company.

OKAY THIS WASN’T A QUESTION, but something smart that husband said about “Authenticity”.

People called Maryam “Inauthentic” and then Maryam called herself “Authentic”.

Thinking this concept through, being authentic and politically correct will NEVER go hand in hand. We are human. We will always have certain biases, and just by saying you don’t have a bias you have a bias! Ha!

Because of social media, being Authentic in this day and age is tough and we only get the rose colored glasses version of the details people share. Go through your own pictures. I mean did you use a filter? Did you Photoshop it a bit? Did you increase the exposure? You are showing people the pictures that turned out the best? We are all inauthentic to a certain degree, but I don’t think it takes away from the authenticity of highlighting who we are and who we want to be.

Thought I’d place the definition of “Authentic” from the Merriam-Webster website right here:

Definition of authentic

1a : worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact

paints an authentic picture of our society

b : conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features

anauthentic reproduction of a colonial farmhouse

c : made or done the same way as an original

authentic Mexican fare

2: not false or imitation : real, actual

an authentic cockney accent

3: true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

is sincere and authenticwith no pretensions

4a of a church mode : ranging upward from the keynote — compare plagal 1

b of a cadence : progressing from the dominant chord to the tonic — compare plagal 2

5obsolete : authoritative

Did you catch the exchange of words on Instagram? What are your thoughts? I have literally spent way to long on this post, but I, for myself, wanted to understand what I want out of my “influencers”. This helps me understand when I should protest against dumb post, when I should just continue to scroll, or when I should finally hit “unfollow”.

Death: All That Comes, Must Go.

I feel like I write a lot about religion, because religion is so near and dear to me. I pray my future kids, husband, friends, coworkers and acquaintances can feel as close to a feeling as I feel. It makes the inside of me tremble just writing it, and honestly can get my tears ducts spouting if I think about that feeling for a few seconds more.

I love feeling connected to higher calling. That being said, lately, I have been thinking about something that we all will go through: DEATH.

Death scares me, because as close as I feel to religion and understanding it, I feel just as far from understanding “death”. As a believer, I know where all my eggs should be when I think about death; Islam provides me with guidance. But for some reason, it sits a funny way with my soul. I cannot get my self to feel comfortable with it. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to get comfortable with it, I think it is just something I have to accept.

I have to be thankful that I fear it, and that it constantly reminds me to make the most of all of my relationships in this world. Death reminds me to spend a few extra minutes each day talking to my mom and checking in with my dad, it reminds me to hug my husband extra tight and to make sure I look into his eyes, it reminds me that I should enjoy cheesecake, and also reminds me that if I want to enjoy a few extra precious moments with my loved ones I should probably put down my favorite diet drinks (which apparently aren’t that good for you – boo).

After writing all of this, I understand why we need death. It helps you appreciate “now”, because there may not be a “later”.

Also, I wanted to thank each and everyone of my readers! I don’t have too many, but I have enough to be thankful for your love and support. Writing has always been away for me to feel connected and has always allowed me to explore the deeper meaning in any event going on in my life. I hope I can inspire you to write, and to contemplate things that are uncomfortable.

Love and light.