Month: October 2018

The Evolution of Halloween

If you’re looking for some story on how Halloween came about – this is NOT it. If you’re looking for an inside look how Halloween has evolved for me – then you are in the right place.

0-13 = cute costumes purchased at Party City or Target

14-17 = home made conservative-ish costumes

18-21 = trying to be sexy costumes

22 = the forgotten year

23-26 = home made costumes that were pretty cute.

27-29= forgotten years.

30-??? = The strong women series (i.e. costumes that are anything but sexy.Re: Frida Khalo, SCOTUS RBG, Kim K., Oprah,  Amelia Earhart, etc.).

Did you have a similar evolution???

 

 

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When I Grow Up

Figuring out what you are going to do with the rest of your life is SO SCARY. Never knowing if what you are doing is right or wrong, or if you are fulfilling your purpose or calling is troubling and, frankly, so freaking frustrating.

I wish I could create something to ease this burden on people.

Like all people, I want to make a name for myself & be someone. I am BOLD. I am [somewhat] DARING. I am NOTICEABLE. These are my strengths. When attention naturally falls on me I relish in it and crave it. I can tell I feel the most alive in front of people- mingling and smiling. Mixing with new people gives me a fresh sense of energy. Getting to know what someone does/did, and learning their story was something that constantly inspires me and something I actively search for, whether through rubbing elbows with people, messaging random people on LinkedIn, or just downloading an audiobook.  So far the takeaway from all of it is:

(1) have faith, (2) work hard & (3) DREAM BIG.

For me, the first two are relatively easy when compared to the the last item on the list.

Dreaming Big, doesn’t just mean about dreaming about the tangible things you want, but it means dreaming about the type of success your going to taste through working hard.

What is your idea? How are you going to revolutionize something? What corporate ladder will you climb? Where do you want to go? How will you get there?

The dreaming is in the details. For example, for the Conrad Hilton (you know- the guy who started the HILTON EMPIRE), dreaming big meant starting a hotel, then growing from one hotel to two hotels.  Then his dreams became bigger, it meant, not just owning hotels domestically, but owning them internationally, owning the best hotels in key locations. After he accomplished this, his next dream was to provide shares of a successful chain to people within his corporation who deserved it, and to reward those who were loyal and worked hard. If he had lived longer, he had dreamed of opening a hotel on the moon (once travel to and from there was a “thing”). All of this required DREAMING. Although he may have dreamed of obtaining tangible items on his path to success, these dreams were about how he could be successful, what that meant, and the tangible goods followed.

Your turn. What are you doing to inspire yourself? What are you doing to “dream”?  Sometimes I think I am exactly where I am supposed to be  – because although I struggle with “dreaming”, I believe in God and the power of prayer, and I understand hard work.  These qualities, combined with someone else’s dreams,  allow me to help them achieve great success, which makes me happy, because I love hearing about and seeing people succeed, and maybe my journey is just that, being able to bring to life the dreams of others? WE SHALL SEE.

 

 

The American Dream

My parents moved to America to provide a life for my siblings and me that they  believe was truly superior than the life they had known. The religious unrest in India against Muslims is real. I mean, even now, the hurdles muslims must jump through to visit india because they are muslim is SO REAL.

Of course, there are bad people on both sides of the spectrum, but I 100% believe that innocent people get mangled in other peoples agendas and their lives inevitably change because of the atrocities that occur. For my parents, the cost entailed encountering the deaths of close loved ones. Can you imagine losing a mother and sisters due to this sort of unrest – I can’t – but it causes me extreme sadness to think my dad personally can.

With that said, he decided that he would seek out a better life for his family is this new promising country. So he came here, lived frugally, studied hard, sent what little he had back home, until he was done with grad school. Got a job, and then legally moved his family to America. I was born shortly after my family’s “great migration”.

His dream for his children, was to have well to do children and live a comfortable life.  He has achieved some version of this, but it got me thinking, what is MY AMERICAN DREAM.

After taking a three month sabbatical (i.e. I quit my job and was unemployed for about 3 months), I had a lot of time to read, think and dream. I decided that my version of the American Dream is to elevate my level of comfort for myself and my kids and it’s to just be more “present” when life happens. I never realized this, but after “dreaming” I realized that I am living a version of my own American Dream.  The other day I got off of work at a reasonable time, headed home and then headed to dinner with my parents. We ate outside and enjoyed the weather. Every one was healthy, we were celebrating my mom’s birthday, and I grabbed the check. Being able to treat my family and being able to celebrate occasions with my family is my version of the American Dream (this is the bare bones version of it at least).

My point in bringing all of this up is, by realizing this, I realized how thankful I am for the sacrifices my dad made, and how blessed I am to have the opportunities that I have – and I am able to appreciate all of this, by just pausing and “smelling the roses”.  What is your version of the American Dream? I would absolutely love to know :).

THIS IS 30.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I thought that by the time I was thirty I was going to just bleed fabulous. Multiple Chanel bags, a Ferrari (or at least a luxury car), my own house (exquisite yard with pool and guest house), a career that I was just a beast in (FYI this “career” was super flexible & fun and paid me a ton of money), a wonderful husband, a size 2, and if I had kids a day time nanny and night nurse.

OKAY THE REALITY IS (can I get a pencil drum roll people)… I am not a size 2, I own zero luxury bags, I currently live at home with my parents, I am currently pushing a Thrifty rental car,  my career is good (but constantly  still learning, falling and getting back up) and the thought of kids is scary (even though I know my biological clock is ticking).  I DID GET THE WONDERFUL HUSBAND. Thank God.

After reflecting on all of these things I thought I would have has indicators of success checked off my list by my 30th birthday, I realized that these weren’t accurate indicators for my success. I mean how many screwed up rich kids do you know that have all of these things? My point being, real indicators of success at the age of 30 just look so different. Well this is the case for me at least.

LUXURY GOODS. I realized that all though I did not have the multiple Chanel bags, I have paid off over $100,000.00 of my student loans within 4 years. WOW. I’m going to just give myself a pat on the back.

WORK. I persevered and did not quit when I was working a job that frankly was not a good fit for me. I am thankful that I am/was wise enough to understand how fortunate I was to have that job, since I learned so much about practicing law there and  obtained a new level of organization that being a great real estate attorney really requires. Also, I did meet a few wonderful people along the way that I plan to stay in touch with for the remainder of my career! Also, I’m at this point in my career, where I’m comfortable not knowing things, it’s not as scary. I have some ways to go before I am super confident, but hey -it’s why I am an associate and NOT a partner yet!

LOVE. I married the guy that I love, who also happens to be an amazing fit for me. Seriously, this could have gone south. Fortunately, all of the pieces just came together and everything was so easy.  I am forever indebted to God and the friends that set us up! Getting married to my husband was the  best decision for my life from a romantic and spiritual standpoint. I’m not sure what the future holds,  but I pray that it continues to bring my husband and I closer together and that we continue to support each other and motivate each other to excel in our faith, personal lives and careers.

FAMILY & FRIENDS. This is a weird one and not really something that I could have done, but I am thankful for my family and friends. Obviously, as you get older some people enter stage right and exit stage left. For the ones still on the stage, I am forever grateful and thankful. I am thankful that you are prospering, that you’re healthy and for the most part (besides having to occasionally slave away at work) you’re so happy and blessed! No one is having to skip meals because they are broke, and everyone is able to enjoy the finer things in life (what ever that may mean to them)!

THE CAR & HOME. Okay this goes with the first bullet point I made, but paying off my student loan is a priority for me. So waiting on getting my dream car and the house is fine. I have so many wonderful years ahead to snag these items. Even though I CURRENTLY live at home (which by the way, I low key love) I live in a pretty nice high-rise in Houston and I am so fortunate that I get to live there for a year! Saqib and I also share a car in Houston. I thought it would be tough, but it’s really not. Occasionally, I get to pick him up from work, and I love seeing him run out of the building and flail his arms! Also, sharing a car reminds me how fortunate I am to have married a guy that just goes with the flow.

Size 2. Okay I am not a size 2. More like a 4 or 6. I am super into it and own it. I’ll always want to lose a few pounds, it’s just the nature of being a girl. I’m just so THANKFUL my career involves my brain and not my looks. The older I get the more valuable I become professionally because of my brain – which is so much less stressful than being in a career or industry where as you age you become less valuable or attractive to future clients / employers.

KIDS.  I mean I still feel like a kid. I know I want kids, I just don’t currently have baby fever. I think that this is normal and one day when the time is right or if I accidentally just get pregnant it will be fine and everything will be wonderful since I have a great network of family and friends 🙂 .

I know the next ten years will have many ups and downs. I just need to remind myself that the ups eventually come and even in tough times remember to breath and be kind. J

OKAY SO THIS IS THIRTY. EXCITED ABOUT ALL OF THE FUN STUFF AHEAD GUYS. By the time I am forty I better have well behaved children, a yacht, a subscription service to fly private, and be featured on a few “magazines” or have a few publications praising my accomplishments in something! Also, I’d like to own numerous houses EVERYWHERE and enjoy this all while drinking Diet Coke with my handsome sweet world renown mohs surgeon husband. Inshallah. I pray that I will continue to have deeper and more meaningful relationships with my family and friends (who by the way are still healthy, happy and living large).  DREAM BIG OR GO HOME. Am I right?

LOVE ALWAYS MAHEEN.