Life Advice

HI FRIENDS!

It has honestly been a minute since I last posted! I have a few important updates: I moved to Kansas City and I GOT MARRIED. Wild right?

I surprisingly really love Kansas City. I mean I will always be an ATLien, but Kansas City is one of those cities that is a hidden gem for the following reasons:

  1. It takes less than 30 minutes to get anywhere around town (more like 15-20 minutes – but saying thirty minutes since I had to drive across town to go to a girlfriend’s house and it took about 30 minutes).
  2. The rent prices are cheaper- ATL was about $300-$400 more for rent. Annual savings of about $4,800.00. Now who doesn’t like that??
  3. The food is yummy! The food in Atlanta is better simply because there are so many options, but for the limited options that are here, I would say KC isn’t doing that bad of a job.
  4. My husband is here ūüôā

On that note, me getting married: I met the love of my life through a friend during the fall of 2015!¬† Something just clicked — I seemed to just enjoy talking to this guy for hours on end (and the whole time we were talking it felt like 15-20 mins, but then I’d look at the clock at it would read 1:00am).¬†UMM WHERE DID THE TIME GO???¬†If you know me, I go to bed SUPER early, so this was different :).

I feel like getting to know him was like peeling an onion, so many layers, but each layer so awesome as the next. I couldn’t wait to tell friends and family members about him! He was awesome. Our families got involved and they took it from there.

Years from now when I tell my kids the story of how I met their father in more detail of course, I will tell them that being with him was EASY. I didn’t have to talk him into anything, change him, or wish I was different or he was different – I took him as he was and he did the same. I will tell them -we didn’t fight and each conversation and interaction was a loving one (granted we get into scuffles every now and but I can’t think of any “real” fights – THANK GOD).

Being married what is my relationship like: It is great! I told my husband the other day, part of the problem of being so head over heels is that I cannot wait to come home to him and working big law means working big hours- LOL- I kid -my hours are not as bad as I thought they were going to be and this week especially as been awesome (hence the post).  Luckily, I married someone who supports me and my dreams, so he never complains or says anything about my hours. Rather, he encourages me take on more, wake up earlier and works by my side :).

Okay, I am writing all of this and he doesn’t even check my blog – since I put a DO NOT CHECK THIS SITE prohibition on him months ago, but if he does ever stop by I think he will be happy to see that I am happy to be his .

XOXO.

Designated Driver: My DD RANT

Hello Subscribers & Randoms,

It has been a HOT minute since I have been blogging, but I promise I’m back and will try to post more regularly, specifically on the weekends.

Unfortunately, I’m blogging for all the wrong reasons today, because today I’m going to just ¬†RANT.

As most of you know, I’m Muslim and I choose not to consume alcohol or do drugs. Being the sober one out of a group of many means I always usually drive. I use to never think about it too much, since the perks of driving are great. ¬†My friends and I get to arrive together, and I get the benefit of ¬†leaving when I desire. ¬†This does not mean everyone leaves when I want to, but I never have to worry about flagging down a taxi or waiting for someone to give me a ride, when all I want to do was go home and sleep!

When I initially got to law school I did not mind being the DD, but I unfortunately had this friend & another “friend’ who would always assume I would pick them up or drop them off, and it got UNDER MY SKIN. I would always ask or suggest ¬†it to be polite, but she always seemed to accept my offer, and she never seemed to realize how inconvenient it was for me – or other things like gas I was consuming with countless trips to get her/drop her off (them off). The irony is when I stopped being DD, we stopped hanging out as much, I mean she made other friends as well, but the two did occur around the same time — we may have drifted because I was no longer her DD. I would hate to think our friendship for that period of time was based on me being a DD, ¬†but it was a part of it.

She was also friends with another girl, who was just as inconsiderate as her. When we would be out late at night I would offer, but each time she would accept. I guess I offered each time, because I thought she was a girl and it was unsafe for her to ride in a taxi alone – so I too felt like it was warranted, but at the end I realized that they would never think about me, to the extent I thought about them, and frankly it’s annoying.

Do people ever realize that when I’m driving them around it is a liability? I could get into a wreck- damage my car, while they just got the benefit or burden of sympathizing with me for a few minutes. Did they ever think about my commute which was extended, due to their inconsiderateness – or that now I was going to be arriving back at home even later than anticipated? Hello – DRUNK DRIVERS.

I am sure they did not. Simple minds, cannot conjure deep thoughts.

Venting about it is not mature, but I am sure knowing you are not alone, is comforting. It is something that often comforts me when things go wrong, and knowing that I am not the only person who has to deal with tough situations. After being removed from the situation for about 2 years, current me  would tell former me to ask them to meet me at my place or express my concerns. Ask that I drive their cars instead. I would also request they Uber back home Рit is relatively safe and they can text me when they arrive home.

I would tell my former self, no one will care about you like your parents or you. People will do what is easy for them – because it is self serving, and it’s okay to be SELFISH, because at the end of the day someone is going to be selfish, and I would rather it be me if it will protect me from potential bodily injury.

What do you think? Have you been in this situation?

Peace & Love.

Stressed Out? EMBRACE IT!

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My pretty little kitty is relaxing away, while the world around her is stressing out!

 I am sorry I have been so slack about writing, but my parents are moving to Stuttgart, Germany for a year! Although I am incredibly excited about their future adventures, there is a ton of chores and donations that need to be made prior to them leaving. I have been furiously packing, cleaning, and donating for the past few days.

On to more important things Рa few days ago I read an AWESOME article in my Oprah Magazine (July 2014 issue).  The article was about stress & how to combat it and reframe it Navy SEAL style!   I thought I would share/summarize the four points in the article, since we can all learn a few things about combating stress.

  1. Prepare for Battle. Think about all of the possible outcomes of your stressful situation and how you would deal with them. For example, do you have a meeting with your boss tomorrow? What is the worse thing your boss could say? What could your boss say to make you feel uncomfortable? Prepare by coming up with a response, or telling yourself to stay silent and not make up excuses.
  2. Talk Yourself Up. Positive self talk¬†is INCREDIBLY important. So you did not land the promotion – you’re still amazing – duh. You’re beautiful, confident, smart, hardworking and are really good at analyzing The Bachelorette (LOL). Make yourself laugh, and think about how you’re contributing positively to the world – (I see you recycling)!
  3. Embrace the Suck. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POINT. ¬†I’m going to quote the article because it could not have been said in a better way: “‘When the weather is foul and nothing is going right, that’s when I think, Now we’re getting someplace!’ . . .the . . . suckiest moments are when most people give up; the resilient ones spot a golden opportunity to surpass their competitors . . . ¬†‘it’s one thing to be an excellent athlete when the conditions are perfect,’ . . . ‘But when the circumstances aren’t so favorable, those who have stronger wills are more likely to rise to victory.”
  4. Take a Deep Breath. ¬†Breathe in four counts. Breathe out four counts. ¬†It will calm you down, and allow you to open up to more intuitive thoughts! I love taking deep breaths. I learned that deep breathing can even help minimize pain –ladies remember to breathe when you’re getting all waxed up, or doing a difficult workout set at the gym. ¬†Deep breathing works well¬†when you can tell you’re feeling emotional too — and trust me I know this from first hand experience.

I hope you’re able to take away something from my small post & I hope next time you’re stressed out you tell yourself, “Bring it on!”

Talk to you later!