Life Advice

Designated Driver: My DD RANT

Hello Subscribers & Randoms,

It has been a HOT minute since I have been blogging, but I promise I’m back and will try to post more regularly, specifically on the weekends.

Unfortunately, I’m blogging for all the wrong reasons today, because today I’m going to just  RANT.

As most of you know, I’m Muslim and I choose not to consume alcohol or do drugs. Being the sober one out of a group of many means I always usually drive. I use to never think about it too much, since the perks of driving are great.  My friends and I get to arrive together, and I get the benefit of  leaving when I desire.  This does not mean everyone leaves when I want to, but I never have to worry about flagging down a taxi or waiting for someone to give me a ride, when all I want to do was go home and sleep!

When I initially got to law school I did not mind being the DD, but I unfortunately had this friend & another “friend’ who would always assume I would pick them up or drop them off, and it got UNDER MY SKIN. I would always ask or suggest  it to be polite, but she always seemed to accept my offer, and she never seemed to realize how inconvenient it was for me – or other things like gas I was consuming with countless trips to get her/drop her off (them off). The irony is when I stopped being DD, we stopped hanging out as much, I mean she made other friends as well, but the two did occur around the same time — we may have drifted because I was no longer her DD. I would hate to think our friendship for that period of time was based on me being a DD,  but it was a part of it.

She was also friends with another girl, who was just as inconsiderate as her. When we would be out late at night I would offer, but each time she would accept. I guess I offered each time, because I thought she was a girl and it was unsafe for her to ride in a taxi alone – so I too felt like it was warranted, but at the end I realized that they would never think about me, to the extent I thought about them, and frankly it’s annoying.

Do people ever realize that when I’m driving them around it is a liability? I could get into a wreck- damage my car, while they just got the benefit or burden of sympathizing with me for a few minutes. Did they ever think about my commute which was extended, due to their inconsiderateness – or that now I was going to be arriving back at home even later than anticipated? Hello – DRUNK DRIVERS.

I am sure they did not. Simple minds, cannot conjure deep thoughts.

Venting about it is not mature, but I am sure knowing you are not alone, is comforting. It is something that often comforts me when things go wrong, and knowing that I am not the only person who has to deal with tough situations. After being removed from the situation for about 2 years, current me  would tell former me to ask them to meet me at my place or express my concerns. Ask that I drive their cars instead. I would also request they Uber back home – it is relatively safe and they can text me when they arrive home.

I would tell my former self, no one will care about you like your parents or you. People will do what is easy for them – because it is self serving, and it’s okay to be SELFISH, because at the end of the day someone is going to be selfish, and I would rather it be me if it will protect me from potential bodily injury.

What do you think? Have you been in this situation?

Peace & Love.

Stressed Out? EMBRACE IT!

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My pretty little kitty is relaxing away, while the world around her is stressing out!

 I am sorry I have been so slack about writing, but my parents are moving to Stuttgart, Germany for a year! Although I am incredibly excited about their future adventures, there is a ton of chores and donations that need to be made prior to them leaving. I have been furiously packing, cleaning, and donating for the past few days.

On to more important things – a few days ago I read an AWESOME article in my Oprah Magazine (July 2014 issue).  The article was about stress & how to combat it and reframe it Navy SEAL style!   I thought I would share/summarize the four points in the article, since we can all learn a few things about combating stress.

  1. Prepare for Battle. Think about all of the possible outcomes of your stressful situation and how you would deal with them. For example, do you have a meeting with your boss tomorrow? What is the worse thing your boss could say? What could your boss say to make you feel uncomfortable? Prepare by coming up with a response, or telling yourself to stay silent and not make up excuses.
  2. Talk Yourself Up. Positive self talk is INCREDIBLY important. So you did not land the promotion – you’re still amazing – duh. You’re beautiful, confident, smart, hardworking and are really good at analyzing The Bachelorette (LOL). Make yourself laugh, and think about how you’re contributing positively to the world – (I see you recycling)!
  3. Embrace the Suck. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POINT.  I’m going to quote the article because it could not have been said in a better way: “‘When the weather is foul and nothing is going right, that’s when I think, Now we’re getting someplace!’ . . .the . . . suckiest moments are when most people give up; the resilient ones spot a golden opportunity to surpass their competitors . . .  ‘it’s one thing to be an excellent athlete when the conditions are perfect,’ . . . ‘But when the circumstances aren’t so favorable, those who have stronger wills are more likely to rise to victory.”
  4. Take a Deep Breath.  Breathe in four counts. Breathe out four counts.  It will calm you down, and allow you to open up to more intuitive thoughts! I love taking deep breaths. I learned that deep breathing can even help minimize pain –ladies remember to breathe when you’re getting all waxed up, or doing a difficult workout set at the gym.  Deep breathing works well when you can tell you’re feeling emotional too — and trust me I know this from first hand experience.

I hope you’re able to take away something from my small post & I hope next time you’re stressed out you tell yourself, “Bring it on!”

Talk to you later!