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How to Pack for an Indian Wedding

Here is a basic checklist of things you’ll need for the Indian / Desi / Pakistani wedding you’ll be attending:

  1.  For each event, a different out fit. Even if there are two events in one day- you pack an outfit for each separate event.
  2. Bangles (ask a friend or order some off of Amazon – sizing can be a little weird, so make sure you do it two weeks in advance so you can return them if they do not work out)
  3. Eye Liner
  4. Your favorite eye shadow palette
  5. Foundation
  6. Beauty Blender
  7. Translucent Power
  8. Primer
  9. Setting Spray
  10. False Lashes
  11. Making removing wipes
  12. Facewash
  13. Razor
  14. “Chill Clothes” – stuff to wear when you grab breakfast, are attending dance practice or hanging out with everyone after the event ends.
  15. Curling Rod/ Iron
  16. Blow Dryer
  17. Straightener
  18. De-Frizz Serum ❤
  19. Clutch
  20. Flats to wear when dancing
  21. Perfume
  22. Jewelry
  23. Heels
  24. Back up cell phone battery (pictures you guys)
  25.  Safety Pins
  26. Bobby Pins

If you were to pack all of the above – I think you’d be in good shape!

 

 

Thrifty Couple Alert

I’m a young associate and my husband is a resident. For some reason, my husband and I live like we are both college students with AN INCREDIBLY LIMITED BUDGET. We really do not have to live this way, but we do it (subconsciously I think) to pay off my student loans ASAP. This thriftiness has lead to a TON of funny stories of schemes we try to run with coupons, Ebates, repairs and making things last.

I know one day we will have a lot, or at least not have student loans and will have the OPTION to do a lot without feeling guilty, and I hope we can remember these “simple days” of a washing machine that only emits SCORCHING hot water on all the water temperature modes. In an effort obtain “warm” water, I throw a ton of ice cubes into the washing machine. The quality of the wash has ruined a few of my clothes since it seems to leave a HEAVY lint/calcium deposit lines on my clothes (which actually causes me a TON of rage), but today the BEST THING happened.

Back story: My sweet, sweet, sweet husband’s had to purchase new underwear due to the fact that scorching hot water has been doing a number on the elastic band on his underwear.

Present Day:  Today I got a text from my husband, his underwear has apparently been falling under his scrubs. LOLOL.

I honestly have a lot of work to do today, but it is moments like these were I am so happy to share my life with him, through the ups & the downs, and I love that we are always laughing, even if its at our own expense.  In an effort to never forgot the heavy heart-ed laughter I am feeling, while completely alone in my office, I decided to share this with you <3.

 

 

Being Thankful

Memorial Day Weekend. The Memorial day holiday is about a few hours away & I cannot wait for the long weekend to start. Thinking about the long weekend and how I will be lucky enough to spend it with my husband, made me think about how lucky I am! Here is the thing, I feel like I am thankful for so many people and things in my life, who God willing, will always be staples in my life.

Why be thankful for the “Basics”? I was fortunate enough to have this “thankful” attitude as a little girl, since my mom and dad would ALWAYS tell me to be thankful for the things I had, when I would be whining about wanting a Game Boy, new clothes, or something random like Pokemon cards.  My parents would say, “Don’t look at what you don’t have, but look at what you do have – and don’t compare your  needs to those above you, but compare your needs to those below you.” I think my best friend Summar can testify, but I never felt like I was missing out on anything, I never asked for TOO much, and for the most part I had the things I wanted (I didn’t want or ask for too much, so getting most things off the list was easy). I had friends who grew up super privileged, but I never thought about the stuff they had vs what I had – I just felt happy for them and wanted to probably admire their items (I still kind of do this – I  have close friends show me hauls of things, and I love watching YouTube hauls – especially the luxury ones).  That being said, there were still times I wanted better things  or something super special (like I drove a really annoying car in undergrad, and when my friends  had sexier cars – trust me I wanted a sexier a car – but I mean I would forget my little grievances after like 10 minutes of whining and complaining about it).

When did I become thankful for being “thankful”? Every time I face a tough situation or a few tough days, I do this thing where I take out my hardly used paper agenda, and I write 5 things I am thankful for. My list usually starts off like so (sample from Feb. 21, 2017):

  1. my Nespresso
  2. my Nespresso pods
  3. A friend who is an immigration lawyer, who was helping another friend out
  4. Thankful for certain shareholders in my firm who did a great job explaining  the deal in great detail (if you’re a young lawyer you know how nice it is to have all of the facts laid out on the front end then getting it piece by piece).
  5. my husband

I do this for a few days, and like MAGIC, everything in my life just gets better. I stop focusing on lame situations and people, and suddenly, I feel upbeat and positive again. Once, I am at a 100%, or even 80%, I usually get lazy and stop making the lists, but just by making a little gratitude list, I feel like the universe rewards me and makes everything rosy again!

Have you ever tried gratitude lists? Have you ever tried making a gratitude list? What were your thoughts? I know my list above seems silly, but being appreciative makes the world and others around you want to do even more for you! At least, I notice that is how I respond. When someone expects me to do something nice for them – I’m not that into it, but when someone is grateful and appreciative, with no expectation, it almost motivates me to continuously do more for them (I have a feeling the universe works similarly).

I would love to hear about the things you list and also the things you do to stay positive 🙂 feel free to share below or link your page below 🙂

 

 

 

Poof. You are an Adult: Dealing with Unpleasant People

Everyone is kind and pleasant. Right? When you grow up and think about becoming an adult, you get this false sense that everyone around you will act kindly, be pleasant, and put in their fair share of effort. As you enter the work force, most people are like this – they are helpful, kind and pleasant. However, every now and then you may encounter a thorn in your dozen roses.

Just like a thorn on a rose – you don’t throw the rose away, you just deal with it. Dealing with this unpleasant person is tough. Trust me I get it. Dealing with the issue is even tougher. It’s tough because you don’t want to seem like one of those people that is constantly complaining, or seem too sensitive, and as a woman, I have this incessant need to be liked by everyone (do people like to be disliked??), but I have learned a few things that will hopefully help you:

  1. Sometimes it is in your head. Sometimes you may think someone is acting a certain way towards you, because you are projecting your own insecurities on this person. You’re fine. The preson is fine. The thorn is actually a budding flower.
  2. Who CARES? Who cares if this person does not like you? Who cares? Let it go, and just understand that you do not like everyone and everyone will not like you. I do not like President Trump, and, frankly I am sure if he saw a picture of me, he would not like me either, but who cares – sometimes you just have to say this a million times to yourself. The “WHO CARES”  mantra should be amplified when this thorn of a person does not impact your ability to move up the ladder (i.e. if you are a doctor and a particular nurse is annoying or you’re a manager and one of your technicians isn’t that pleasant or upbeat).
  3. Tough Conversations. Sometimes it is a good idea to have tough conversations. These conversations should not be a hostile thing, and you should go into them with a positive attitude and with you knowing your faults prior to the conversation so you can hear and acknowledge the other persons issues and not be caught off guard or feel SUPER defensive when they are brought up. You should also have a plan or a rough idea of things this person and you can do to make the experience better for one another and to alleviate any potential issue that could arise in the future.
  4. Quarantine. This goes along with the “Who Cares?” point, but sometimes the best method of this is coming to terms with it, acknowledging it, and then telling yourself to limit your interaction with this individual. For example, no need for small talk -pleasantries like “Hi”& “Hello” are sufficient. Smile and head on over to your desk. After a few weeks of this, you’ll be numb to this person and their energy and it won’t bog you down!
  5. Make a Friend. Make an office friend. Seriously. Did you know that making one good friend in the office makes your experience at work 50% better. REPEAT: 50% BETTER. You can even confide about that annoyingly rude co-worker with your work friend – and one day you’ll be thankful for the the annoyingly rude co-worker that provides all of the laughs between you and your work best friend!
  6. The six (6) – Twelve (12) Month Rule. Although, I’ve been fortunate enough to never come close to encountering this rule, I imagine, if this person is your boss/supervisor, you can’t necessarily use the “Who Cares” method or the quarantine method, however you can stick it out for 6 – 12 months, reassess the situation and then jump ship. Just remember to always be kind & professional, because this person will be apart of your resume and does have the ability to say something unkind about you and this persons words can impact your future. Prior to jumping ship, obviously line up another job – but this time when you’re selecting your job, assess the environment and the people a little more carefully. LOL
  7. Kind. Kind. Kind. I get it. You’re sick of me saying “Kind” but ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NOT LET THIS PERSON CONTROL YOUR DAY, YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR THOUGHTS. You are such a wonderful person, and just because someone isn’t acting to the degree or standard of kindness that you would like them to, doesn’t give YOU THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE or to act like them. You should not let it impact your identity and who YOU are. You are above the situation and them, so act accordingly.
  8. REMEMBER. Use these unpleasant experiences to shape and monitor the way you act and react. When you are in a position of authority and one day you have a young associate or medical student, remember what it was like to be in their shoes, reflect on it and act accordingly – treat them like you would have wanted to be treated.

I hope my tips and tricks are helpful. The work place is a much better place to be when everyone is professional, plays nice, is friends and laughs. It makes waking up in the morning a little easier and makes the day go by faster. Good luck with everything friends!

Peace, Love & Laughter 🙂

JOIN ME ON MY SERIES CALLED “POOF: YOU ARE AN ADULT!”  and feel free to suggest other topics to address! I loved writing the above, even though it’s a little lengthier than what most people would prefer!

Poof. You Are An Adult. English is Their Second Language.

One of the toughest parts about getting older seems to be having to watch your parents become older. I am fortunate enough to have an incredibly close relationship with my parents and, simultaneously,  I have an incredibly unique relationship with my parents, since I have always considered myself their protector and interpreter of western culture.

My parents moved to this country from India. My dad got a head start by coming here in the late 70’s. Whereas my mom, finally came with my siblings around the late 80’s. Seeing as my dad went to school here and obtained a PhD and Masters, it only makes sense that he has mastered the language and western “culture” more than my mother. He has an accent, but not as strong as my mother, and he can communicate fluently [and apparently effectively, since he has obtained awesome opportunities throughout the years in his career].

My mother, she is a different story. To a certain extent, my mom didn’t need to master the language, she ran an ethnic story in the early 90’s (no language barriers there) and worked in some sort if I.T. testing division in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. She dabbled in day care before and after the I.T. position, but working with little kids did not necessarily require her to “learn” the language or the culture.

So now, my parents are getting older – whats the big deal? So growing up when it was just me and my mom running an errand, I would try to make sure the store clerk was talking to me, so that I could interpret the information over to my mom. I did this with simple things and more complicated things (like car issues or calling manufacturers in regards to warranties on home appliances), but I remember going to college and having this thought, “how will my mom communicate her needs effectively or understand third parties without me?” I gave my mom little or no credit, and I gave myself a LOT of credit. My mom did fine, she didn’t need me [as much as I had lead myself to believe]. I put this thought of her inability to communicate in my own head.

I remember coming home for Christmas break one year and intentionally being quiet at the store so I could witness the interaction. I thought the store clerk could have been kinder, but, I guess from his point of view my mom’s  tone when trying to speak English does not always come off as lovable, since she is more focused on trying to get the right words and conjugation out.

I created my own problem. I, like many of you, LOVE helping my parents! I love them – they are wonderful humans, who continue to do a lot for me and everyone else around them. So as an adult I see myself trying to revert to my old ways of simply doing things for them, but at the same time this is not as sustainable since I live in a different time zone, married and a young lawyer at a large firm [who by the way is studying for the Missouri Bar].

For example, the other day my mom wanted  me to send her the address of a salon near her, so I got off a call with my husband, while at Target running errands, Googled the salon and sent her the address. See the issue with this is that this is something she could have easily done, but I have reinforced her to believe that she cannot. So this morning, she told me the salon was closed [she said it in a way where it was closed forever]- I said why don’t you Google it again and try to give them another call. She hesitated, but with a little subtle encouragement she did it! She called them – made an appointment, now knows they are closed on Mondays, and even rescheduled her appointment after a second call!

This whole article was initially geared towards writing  about aging parents , but it ended up turning into an article about my mother– Happy Mother’s Day -I guess! I am amazed by how awesome she is, and I am learning to understand that our mother-daughter relationship needs to evolve and is evolving. We are both learning new things. I am learning to teach my mother how to catch fish, and she learning to not be afraid of catching the fish [broad -broad overstatement- since she does A LOT without me – but I like giving myself more credit sometimes].

 I am sure many of you struggle with these same scenarios and situations, and I would love to hear about how you handle things. Feel free to comment below – interested in your thoughts.