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Being Thankful

Memorial Day Weekend. The Memorial day holiday is about a few hours away & I cannot wait for the long weekend to start. Thinking about the long weekend and how I will be lucky enough to spend it with my husband, made me think about how lucky I am! Here is the thing, I feel like I am thankful for so many people and things in my life, who God willing, will always be staples in my life.

Why be thankful for the “Basics”? I was fortunate enough to have this “thankful” attitude as a little girl, since my mom and dad would ALWAYS tell me to be thankful for the things I had, when I would be whining about wanting a Game Boy, new clothes, or something random like Pokemon cards.  My parents would say, “Don’t look at what you don’t have, but look at what you do have – and don’t compare your  needs to those above you, but compare your needs to those below you.” I think my best friend Summar can testify, but I never felt like I was missing out on anything, I never asked for TOO much, and for the most part I had the things I wanted (I didn’t want or ask for too much, so getting most things off the list was easy). I had friends who grew up super privileged, but I never thought about the stuff they had vs what I had – I just felt happy for them and wanted to probably admire their items (I still kind of do this – I  have close friends show me hauls of things, and I love watching YouTube hauls – especially the luxury ones).  That being said, there were still times I wanted better things  or something super special (like I drove a really annoying car in undergrad, and when my friends  had sexier cars – trust me I wanted a sexier a car – but I mean I would forget my little grievances after like 10 minutes of whining and complaining about it).

When did I become thankful for being “thankful”? Every time I face a tough situation or a few tough days, I do this thing where I take out my hardly used paper agenda, and I write 5 things I am thankful for. My list usually starts off like so (sample from Feb. 21, 2017):

  1. my Nespresso
  2. my Nespresso pods
  3. A friend who is an immigration lawyer, who was helping another friend out
  4. Thankful for certain shareholders in my firm who did a great job explaining  the deal in great detail (if you’re a young lawyer you know how nice it is to have all of the facts laid out on the front end then getting it piece by piece).
  5. my husband

I do this for a few days, and like MAGIC, everything in my life just gets better. I stop focusing on lame situations and people, and suddenly, I feel upbeat and positive again. Once, I am at a 100%, or even 80%, I usually get lazy and stop making the lists, but just by making a little gratitude list, I feel like the universe rewards me and makes everything rosy again!

Have you ever tried gratitude lists? Have you ever tried making a gratitude list? What were your thoughts? I know my list above seems silly, but being appreciative makes the world and others around you want to do even more for you! At least, I notice that is how I respond. When someone expects me to do something nice for them – I’m not that into it, but when someone is grateful and appreciative, with no expectation, it almost motivates me to continuously do more for them (I have a feeling the universe works similarly).

I would love to hear about the things you list and also the things you do to stay positive 🙂 feel free to share below or link your page below 🙂

 

 

 

Poof. You are an Adult: Dealing with Unpleasant People

Everyone is kind and pleasant. Right? When you grow up and think about becoming an adult, you get this false sense that everyone around you will act kindly, be pleasant, and put in their fair share of effort. As you enter the work force, most people are like this – they are helpful, kind and pleasant. However, every now and then you may encounter a thorn in your dozen roses.

Just like a thorn on a rose – you don’t throw the rose away, you just deal with it. Dealing with this unpleasant person is tough. Trust me I get it. Dealing with the issue is even tougher. It’s tough because you don’t want to seem like one of those people that is constantly complaining, or seem too sensitive, and as a woman, I have this incessant need to be liked by everyone (do people like to be disliked??), but I have learned a few things that will hopefully help you:

  1. Sometimes it is in your head. Sometimes you may think someone is acting a certain way towards you, because you are projecting your own insecurities on this person. You’re fine. The preson is fine. The thorn is actually a budding flower.
  2. Who CARES? Who cares if this person does not like you? Who cares? Let it go, and just understand that you do not like everyone and everyone will not like you. I do not like President Trump, and, frankly I am sure if he saw a picture of me, he would not like me either, but who cares – sometimes you just have to say this a million times to yourself. The “WHO CARES”  mantra should be amplified when this thorn of a person does not impact your ability to move up the ladder (i.e. if you are a doctor and a particular nurse is annoying or you’re a manager and one of your technicians isn’t that pleasant or upbeat).
  3. Tough Conversations. Sometimes it is a good idea to have tough conversations. These conversations should not be a hostile thing, and you should go into them with a positive attitude and with you knowing your faults prior to the conversation so you can hear and acknowledge the other persons issues and not be caught off guard or feel SUPER defensive when they are brought up. You should also have a plan or a rough idea of things this person and you can do to make the experience better for one another and to alleviate any potential issue that could arise in the future.
  4. Quarantine. This goes along with the “Who Cares?” point, but sometimes the best method of this is coming to terms with it, acknowledging it, and then telling yourself to limit your interaction with this individual. For example, no need for small talk -pleasantries like “Hi”& “Hello” are sufficient. Smile and head on over to your desk. After a few weeks of this, you’ll be numb to this person and their energy and it won’t bog you down!
  5. Make a Friend. Make an office friend. Seriously. Did you know that making one good friend in the office makes your experience at work 50% better. REPEAT: 50% BETTER. You can even confide about that annoyingly rude co-worker with your work friend – and one day you’ll be thankful for the the annoyingly rude co-worker that provides all of the laughs between you and your work best friend!
  6. The six (6) – Twelve (12) Month Rule. Although, I’ve been fortunate enough to never come close to encountering this rule, I imagine, if this person is your boss/supervisor, you can’t necessarily use the “Who Cares” method or the quarantine method, however you can stick it out for 6 – 12 months, reassess the situation and then jump ship. Just remember to always be kind & professional, because this person will be apart of your resume and does have the ability to say something unkind about you and this persons words can impact your future. Prior to jumping ship, obviously line up another job – but this time when you’re selecting your job, assess the environment and the people a little more carefully. LOL
  7. Kind. Kind. Kind. I get it. You’re sick of me saying “Kind” but ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NOT LET THIS PERSON CONTROL YOUR DAY, YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR THOUGHTS. You are such a wonderful person, and just because someone isn’t acting to the degree or standard of kindness that you would like them to, doesn’t give YOU THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE or to act like them. You should not let it impact your identity and who YOU are. You are above the situation and them, so act accordingly.
  8. REMEMBER. Use these unpleasant experiences to shape and monitor the way you act and react. When you are in a position of authority and one day you have a young associate or medical student, remember what it was like to be in their shoes, reflect on it and act accordingly – treat them like you would have wanted to be treated.

I hope my tips and tricks are helpful. The work place is a much better place to be when everyone is professional, plays nice, is friends and laughs. It makes waking up in the morning a little easier and makes the day go by faster. Good luck with everything friends!

Peace, Love & Laughter 🙂

JOIN ME ON MY SERIES CALLED “POOF: YOU ARE AN ADULT!”  and feel free to suggest other topics to address! I loved writing the above, even though it’s a little lengthier than what most people would prefer!

Poof. You Are An Adult. English is Their Second Language.

One of the toughest parts about getting older seems to be having to watch your parents become older. I am fortunate enough to have an incredibly close relationship with my parents and, simultaneously,  I have an incredibly unique relationship with my parents, since I have always considered myself their protector and interpreter of western culture.

My parents moved to this country from India. My dad got a head start by coming here in the late 70’s. Whereas my mom, finally came with my siblings around the late 80’s. Seeing as my dad went to school here and obtained a PhD and Masters, it only makes sense that he has mastered the language and western “culture” more than my mother. He has an accent, but not as strong as my mother, and he can communicate fluently [and apparently effectively, since he has obtained awesome opportunities throughout the years in his career].

My mother, she is a different story. To a certain extent, my mom didn’t need to master the language, she ran an ethnic story in the early 90’s (no language barriers there) and worked in some sort if I.T. testing division in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. She dabbled in day care before and after the I.T. position, but working with little kids did not necessarily require her to “learn” the language or the culture.

So now, my parents are getting older – whats the big deal? So growing up when it was just me and my mom running an errand, I would try to make sure the store clerk was talking to me, so that I could interpret the information over to my mom. I did this with simple things and more complicated things (like car issues or calling manufacturers in regards to warranties on home appliances), but I remember going to college and having this thought, “how will my mom communicate her needs effectively or understand third parties without me?” I gave my mom little or no credit, and I gave myself a LOT of credit. My mom did fine, she didn’t need me [as much as I had lead myself to believe]. I put this thought of her inability to communicate in my own head.

I remember coming home for Christmas break one year and intentionally being quiet at the store so I could witness the interaction. I thought the store clerk could have been kinder, but, I guess from his point of view my mom’s  tone when trying to speak English does not always come off as lovable, since she is more focused on trying to get the right words and conjugation out.

I created my own problem. I, like many of you, LOVE helping my parents! I love them – they are wonderful humans, who continue to do a lot for me and everyone else around them. So as an adult I see myself trying to revert to my old ways of simply doing things for them, but at the same time this is not as sustainable since I live in a different time zone, married and a young lawyer at a large firm [who by the way is studying for the Missouri Bar].

For example, the other day my mom wanted  me to send her the address of a salon near her, so I got off a call with my husband, while at Target running errands, Googled the salon and sent her the address. See the issue with this is that this is something she could have easily done, but I have reinforced her to believe that she cannot. So this morning, she told me the salon was closed [she said it in a way where it was closed forever]- I said why don’t you Google it again and try to give them another call. She hesitated, but with a little subtle encouragement she did it! She called them – made an appointment, now knows they are closed on Mondays, and even rescheduled her appointment after a second call!

This whole article was initially geared towards writing  about aging parents , but it ended up turning into an article about my mother– Happy Mother’s Day -I guess! I am amazed by how awesome she is, and I am learning to understand that our mother-daughter relationship needs to evolve and is evolving. We are both learning new things. I am learning to teach my mother how to catch fish, and she learning to not be afraid of catching the fish [broad -broad overstatement- since she does A LOT without me – but I like giving myself more credit sometimes].

 I am sure many of you struggle with these same scenarios and situations, and I would love to hear about how you handle things. Feel free to comment below – interested in your thoughts.

HI FRIENDS!

It has honestly been a minute since I last posted! I have a few important updates: I moved to Kansas City and I GOT MARRIED. Wild right?

I surprisingly really love Kansas City. I mean I will always be an ATLien, but Kansas City is one of those cities that is a hidden gem for the following reasons:

  1. It takes less than 30 minutes to get anywhere around town (more like 15-20 minutes – but saying thirty minutes since I had to drive across town to go to a girlfriend’s house and it took about 30 minutes).
  2. The rent prices are cheaper- ATL was about $300-$400 more for rent. Annual savings of about $4,800.00. Now who doesn’t like that??
  3. The food is yummy! The food in Atlanta is better simply because there are so many options, but for the limited options that are here, I would say KC isn’t doing that bad of a job.
  4. My husband is here 🙂

On that note, how did you meet your husband: I met the love of my life through a friend during the fall of 2015!  Something just clicked — I seemed to just enjoy talking to this guy for hours on end (and the whole time we were talking it felt like 15-20 mins, but then I’d look at the clock at it would read 1:00am). UMM WHERE DID THE TIME GO??? If you know me, I go to bed SUPER early, so this was different :).

The layers. I feel like getting to know him was like peeling an onion, so many layers, but each layer so awesome as the next. I couldn’t wait to tell friends and family members about him! He was awesome. Our families got involved and they took it from there.

It was EASY. Years from now when I tell my kids the story of how I met their father in more detail of course, I will tell them that being with him was EASY. I didn’t have to talk him into anything, change him, or wish I was different or he was different – I took him as he was and he did the same. I will tell them -we didn’t fight and each conversation and interaction was a loving one (granted we get into scuffles every now and but I can’t think of any “real” fights – THANK GOD).

Being married & what my relationship is like: It is great! I told my husband the other day, part of the problem of being so head over heels is that I cannot wait to come home to him and working big law means working big hours- LOL- I kid -my hours are not as bad as I thought they were going to be and this week especially as been awesome (hence the post).  Luckily, I married someone who supports me and my dreams, so he never complains or says anything about my hours. Rather, he encourages me take on more, wake up earlier and works by my side :).

Okay, I am writing all of this and he doesn’t even check my blog – since I put a DO NOT CHECK THIS SITE prohibition on him months ago, but if he does ever stop by I think he will be happy to see that I am happy to be his.

XOXO.

Health: My Favorite Morning Drink!

Hi Friends,

A fun fact about me is that I love sipping on things more than chewing things! I’m not sure why, but I love a yummy drink: carbonated, fresh juice, teas & coffees (I really don’t discriminate).

Lately, one of my favorite morning drinks has been 100% Bolthouse Farms Pomegranate Juice and chia seeds! (I’ve been purchasing Bolthouse over Pom Wonderful due to the price point. I’m sure if the POM Wonderful price point were better – I’d use either/or.)

I bought the Chia Seeds from amazon for $11  – you can find them anywhere though. At night (preferred method) or in the morning (least preferred method) I take a tablespoon or two of the chia seeds ad them let them soak in the pomegranate juice. By the time I wake up or am done getting ready for the morning –I have an awesome health drink ready for me!

The benefits of pomegranate juice are never ending, but here are some of my favorite benefits of drinking it:

  • may help stop plaque from building up in blood vessel
  • loaded with antioxidants (antioxidants are known to help prevent and repair DNA damage that can lead to cancer)
  • A 2005 study on 45 patients with coronary heart disease demonstrated that a daily drink of 238ml (8.4oz) of pomegranate juice administered over three months resulted in improved blood flow to the heart and a lower risk of heart attack
  • I’m anemic and the iron content is high in pomegranate juice!

I’m also really loving chia seeds – I’m sure you’ve read a million articles dedicated to these inflatable black seeds that turn all jelly-like, but once again here are my favorite reasons for loving chia seeds:

  • one tablespoon of chia seeds have more calcium than a glass of milk, more omega-3s than salmon, and more antioxidants than blueberries
  • high in fiber
  • may help prevent cardiovascular, neurological and autoimmune diseases

I hope you’re inspired to try the combination tomorrow morning, because it’s something I’ll definitely be enjoying!

Stay healthy!