inspiration

Poof. You are an Adult. Don’t Be Scared

Hi Friends,

I recently posted the following video:

Initially I was a little nervous about it  – thoughts like “What are you doing?”  and “You’re an attorney not a vlogger”  crossed my mind, along with other thoughts of colleagues stumbling upon it or random acquaintances tuning in-  but then I thought, I have always put myself out there, and this was NO exception. I have always wanted to do YouTube, but my own fears of what others would think seemed to ALWAYS hold me back. Just like this space, I have no idea if it will be dedicated to one aspect of my life, or will grow into something where I can experiment with my hobbies and interests.  We shall see. I hope that you will join me a long for the ride, and I hope that you will try something of your comfort zone soon too :).

Bye!

Poof: You Are An Adult. Ending a Friendship

When you are a little girl you dream of the day you are a fabulous adult. Working in one of those big buildings, where you have an awesome office, the cutest wardrobe, the perfect hair and skin, the ability to eat everything yummy and never gain a pound, the perfect home (in the perfect shade of blush pink), and perfect relationships.

As you grow up you learn that you cannot have it all. You learn to pick a career, be serious, socialize and love only those people that matter, and above all you learn that every action truly does have a consequence.

One of the toughest parts about this entrance into adulthood is leaving people “behind”. I really struggle with this issue, but I realize more and more that you cannot take everyone with you on your journey, and although you want to share something because of the sheer length of time you have been in each others lives or maybe there are certain aspects of this person you really appreciate, there are other subjective negative aspects that severely outweigh the length of time and pleasant traits of this person. If this person lived near, it would make sense to connect every now and then and to make the effort to maintain the relationship, but if the person is far away, and every time you meet in real life the negatives seem overshadow the positives, you need to walk away.

What does walking away mean? I have learned that the hardest and easiest thing to do in life is to come up with black and white rules and stick with them. It’s hard, because your mind wants to analytically poke holes and give you subjective outs and create grey. It’s the easy thing to do, because if you just simply allow it to be black and white then you are free of trying to interpret the grey. To highlight using this method, you simply tell yourself: I am done with this person, I will not contact them, respond to their contact, and I will un-follow them on social media. By simply coming up with these incredibly tough rules and sticking with them you no longer have to constantly second guess yourself or your actions towards this specific person. You take a position & you stick with it.

What happens next? By taking a position and staying strong, you will soon realize that you are free of this person and the burdens they brought into your life. Freedom from any negativity, only means that more positivity can replace it if you are open to it! Take the time that you would have spent talking to  that individual and invest it in yourself, your family, your community, your other close friends or your work. Use one bad “relationship”, whether it be a friendship or serious relationship to catapult you to the next level, and as hard as this may sound never look back. If you find yourself even wanting to take a glance backwards, just remember that things were not always that rosy, and you do not need this person.

 

JOIN ME ON MY SERIES CALLED “POOF: YOU ARE AN ADULT!”  and feel free to suggest other topics to address! I loved writing the above, even though it’s a little lengthier than what most people would prefer!

 

HI FRIENDS!

It has honestly been a minute since I last posted! I have a few important updates: I moved to Kansas City and I GOT MARRIED. Wild right?

I surprisingly really love Kansas City. I mean I will always be an ATLien, but Kansas City is one of those cities that is a hidden gem for the following reasons:

  1. It takes less than 30 minutes to get anywhere around town (more like 15-20 minutes – but saying thirty minutes since I had to drive across town to go to a girlfriend’s house and it took about 30 minutes).
  2. The rent prices are cheaper- ATL was about $300-$400 more for rent. Annual savings of about $4,800.00. Now who doesn’t like that??
  3. The food is yummy! The food in Atlanta is better simply because there are so many options, but for the limited options that are here, I would say KC isn’t doing that bad of a job.
  4. My husband is here 🙂

On that note, how did you meet your husband: I met the love of my life through a friend during the fall of 2015!  Something just clicked — I seemed to just enjoy talking to this guy for hours on end (and the whole time we were talking it felt like 15-20 mins, but then I’d look at the clock at it would read 1:00am). UMM WHERE DID THE TIME GO??? If you know me, I go to bed SUPER early, so this was different :).

The layers. I feel like getting to know him was like peeling an onion, so many layers, but each layer so awesome as the next. I couldn’t wait to tell friends and family members about him! He was awesome. Our families got involved and they took it from there.

It was EASY. Years from now when I tell my kids the story of how I met their father in more detail of course, I will tell them that being with him was EASY. I didn’t have to talk him into anything, change him, or wish I was different or he was different – I took him as he was and he did the same. I will tell them -we didn’t fight and each conversation and interaction was a loving one (granted we get into scuffles every now and but I can’t think of any “real” fights – THANK GOD).

Being married & what my relationship is like: It is great! I told my husband the other day, part of the problem of being so head over heels is that I cannot wait to come home to him and working big law means working big hours- LOL- I kid -my hours are not as bad as I thought they were going to be and this week especially as been awesome (hence the post).  Luckily, I married someone who supports me and my dreams, so he never complains or says anything about my hours. Rather, he encourages me take on more, wake up earlier and works by my side :).

Okay, I am writing all of this and he doesn’t even check my blog – since I put a DO NOT CHECK THIS SITE prohibition on him months ago, but if he does ever stop by I think he will be happy to see that I am happy to be his.

XOXO.

ZYKA with a Personal Blurb!

IMG_1777                                         Chicken Tikka Masala 

Hey Friends,

Being a law student & a pseudo Atlanta food bloger do not always go hand in hand!  I’ve had a lot on my plate with the MPRE (basically an ethics test you have to take in order to sit for the BAR).  I’m also job hunting for a permanent position — and it’s been a tad stressful and time consuming. I’ve seen a lot of recent graduates graduate WITHOUT a job, but luckily as BAR results come out– I’ve also been seeing a lot of them get jobs (PHEW).

Areas of law I’m interested:

  • Real Estate and Soft IP

Both of these areas really appeal to me. There are A LOT of Indian/Asian Hotel/Motel owners & I would love to work with a firm to facilitate their transactions. I would also love to negotiate on behalf of them to secure favorable provisions. Growing up I moved around a lot and the connection I felt with my homes and spaces near me really molded my identity. For example, when we moved to Greenville, SC, I saw my neighbors houses being developed before my very eyes, I remember running around in them and giving fake tours to the few neighborhood kids that were around (kind of like Egypt from “Property Virgins”).  Right before the recession my parents bought a new house (they over paid), but I remembered thinking– I knew this house wasn’t worth it. If only they consulted me I could have told them my opinions, or at least shed a tear that could have prevented the purchase (I once did that with some formal living room furniture my family purchased — the tears didn’t work, but years later my mother finally admitted that I was “right”. In her defense she wasn’t all wrong).

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Butter Chicken

I like soft IP because I love the arts, and I love the ability art has to change someone’s thoughts. It has the ability to influence someone,  change their perspective or bring touchy subjects to life through subtle means. I’m NOT that artistically creative, but I am like a lioness and if people try to mess with my cubs I’ll bite (my cubs in this analogy would be the artists I’m able to represent)! When I see people selling knockoffs, I’m the girl that actually EMAILS  the company and says “HEY …THIS ____.COM IS SELLING A FAKE URBAN DECAY PALETTE. I DON’T WANT OTHERS TO GET DUPED. TELL THEM TO STOP AND PROTECT YOUR TRADEMARK.” I’ve emailed L’Oréal Paris, Apple, Tiffany’s, etc..

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Right now — I may not be that great at drafting memos or briefs, but I know, with time, I’ll probably get it down to a science — luckily I have something else on my side that is much more powerful than drafting a good brief — I’ve got PASSION. I’m going to run with it until I reach the “finish line”.

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Scattered through out this whole post are pictures of my favorite indian / pakistani restaurant called ZYKA: The Taste in Decatur, GA