networking

Poof. You are an Adult: Dealing with Unpleasant People

Everyone is kind and pleasant. Right? When you grow up and think about becoming an adult, you get this false sense that everyone around you will act kindly, be pleasant, and put in their fair share of effort. As you enter the work force, most people are like this – they are helpful, kind and pleasant. However, every now and then you may encounter a thorn in your dozen roses.

Just like a thorn on a rose – you don’t throw the rose away, you just deal with it. Dealing with this unpleasant person is tough. Trust me I get it. Dealing with the issue is even tougher. It’s tough because you don’t want to seem like one of those people that is constantly complaining, or seem too sensitive, and as a woman, I have this incessant need to be liked by everyone (do people like to be disliked??), but I have learned a few things that will hopefully help you:

  1. Sometimes it is in your head. Sometimes you may think someone is acting a certain way towards you, because you are projecting your own insecurities on this person. You’re fine. The preson is fine. The thorn is actually a budding flower.
  2. Who CARES? Who cares if this person does not like you? Who cares? Let it go, and just understand that you do not like everyone and everyone will not like you. I do not like President Trump, and, frankly I am sure if he saw a picture of me, he would not like me either, but who cares – sometimes you just have to say this a million times to yourself. The “WHO CARES”  mantra should be amplified when this thorn of a person does not impact your ability to move up the ladder (i.e. if you are a doctor and a particular nurse is annoying or you’re a manager and one of your technicians isn’t that pleasant or upbeat).
  3. Tough Conversations. Sometimes it is a good idea to have tough conversations. These conversations should not be a hostile thing, and you should go into them with a positive attitude and with you knowing your faults prior to the conversation so you can hear and acknowledge the other persons issues and not be caught off guard or feel SUPER defensive when they are brought up. You should also have a plan or a rough idea of things this person and you can do to make the experience better for one another and to alleviate any potential issue that could arise in the future.
  4. Quarantine. This goes along with the “Who Cares?” point, but sometimes the best method of this is coming to terms with it, acknowledging it, and then telling yourself to limit your interaction with this individual. For example, no need for small talk -pleasantries like “Hi”& “Hello” are sufficient. Smile and head on over to your desk. After a few weeks of this, you’ll be numb to this person and their energy and it won’t bog you down!
  5. Make a Friend. Make an office friend. Seriously. Did you know that making one good friend in the office makes your experience at work 50% better. REPEAT: 50% BETTER. You can even confide about that annoyingly rude co-worker with your work friend – and one day you’ll be thankful for the the annoyingly rude co-worker that provides all of the laughs between you and your work best friend!
  6. The six (6) – Twelve (12) Month Rule. Although, I’ve been fortunate enough to never come close to encountering this rule, I imagine, if this person is your boss/supervisor, you can’t necessarily use the “Who Cares” method or the quarantine method, however you can stick it out for 6 – 12 months, reassess the situation and then jump ship. Just remember to always be kind & professional, because this person will be apart of your resume and does have the ability to say something unkind about you and this persons words can impact your future. Prior to jumping ship, obviously line up another job – but this time when you’re selecting your job, assess the environment and the people a little more carefully. LOL
  7. Kind. Kind. Kind. I get it. You’re sick of me saying “Kind” but ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NOT LET THIS PERSON CONTROL YOUR DAY, YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR THOUGHTS. You are such a wonderful person, and just because someone isn’t acting to the degree or standard of kindness that you would like them to, doesn’t give YOU THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE or to act like them. You should not let it impact your identity and who YOU are. You are above the situation and them, so act accordingly.
  8. REMEMBER. Use these unpleasant experiences to shape and monitor the way you act and react. When you are in a position of authority and one day you have a young associate or medical student, remember what it was like to be in their shoes, reflect on it and act accordingly – treat them like you would have wanted to be treated.

I hope my tips and tricks are helpful. The work place is a much better place to be when everyone is professional, plays nice, is friends and laughs. It makes waking up in the morning a little easier and makes the day go by faster. Good luck with everything friends!

Peace, Love & Laughter 🙂

JOIN ME ON MY SERIES CALLED “POOF: YOU ARE AN ADULT!”  and feel free to suggest other topics to address! I loved writing the above, even though it’s a little lengthier than what most people would prefer!

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Law School Graduation

Hey Friends,

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I just graduated law school this past MONDAY! I cannot believe it. Wow. Although, academically, these were the toughest three years, personally they were the most influential. I came in as a girl, and I’m leaving a woman. I learned about fake friends, people who will do anything to get ahead, people who will be there for you when they have a million things going on, hard work/working SMART, having fun, cherishing the people that keep you sane, and protecting your health.

At times, I was incredibly skeptical about my education, but  I feel lucky to have gotten a Juris Doctor, since it affects the way I interact with the world, and allows me the ability to hone in on a multitude of conclusions that could occur.

If I had to go through law school again what would I do differently?

  • I finished law school on a strong note, so I wish from the get go, I made my own outlines or used others in conjunction with my notes, since that was something I failed to do as a 1L and relied heavily on commercial outlines and tabbing supplements.
  • I wish I wrote down most class discussions and case briefs that we discussed in class, as opposed to hopping on G-chat, and thinking that “I’ve read the case, so I know it.” I am human and I only have the ability to remember so much, without a trigger.
  • Developing a strong relationship with a professor in a field you like is something you should do very early on. By developing a relationship, you work harder to prove yourself, and they can also attempt to help you with your job search in the field.
  • Networked during my first year of law school. Networking is a such a vague term, so I will break it down for you in another post.
  • I wish I ran everyday, even for 5 minutes &  I wish I ate a light lunch. Eating a light lunch will enable you to be more productive during the day and not feel so sleepy.
  • I wish there was a way to avoid being addicted to coffee. My name is Maheen and I am addicted to coffee.
  • Respect and make time for my parents a  little bit more. I love them so much, and without them attending law school would not have been possible. They’re constantly love me, motivating me, and providing me with my lifestyle. I wish I sent them a few more thank you cards, a few more gifts, and a gave them a few extra minutes on the phone.
  • As far as my friends and special ones, I wish that I could keep a lid on my mouth when I was stressed. I often overreacted and said things that I regret. I love them to pieces and it would really break my heart if they thought I sincerely meant those rude things. I am an idiot sometimes, so working on managing my stress is something that I will actively work on as far as life goes.
  • (I’ll add to this list as I think of more things)

I hope you can learn from my mistakes. I have this little mantra that goes: if I can do it, so can you! I know that you can succeed in ANYTHING you do! Just work hard, I promise.