religion

It’s My Wedding & I Can Cry If I Want To.

The title does not really have much to do with my article, but for some reason the song is playing in my head, so I thought I would make a catchy title out of it.

Do most brides even cry? I did not cry, except for like the two seconds my dad came up and spoke some incoherent words, when mashed up together basically implied,  “I did not get to see my first two children grow up, because when they were babies I had an opportunity to come to America to pursue a better life for my family. So after 8 years a part, when I was finally able to bring them to this country,  I had my love child [Maheen] with my cute wife.  I knew I would get a chance to do things the right way and really be the best father I could be – and I am thankful for her for giving me that opportunity.”

OKAY YOU GUYS. I’m not a 100% SURE HE SAID, or even vaguely implied the thankful part, but I know he holds my childhood close to his heart. We went to Sea World and Chuck E. Cheese every single weekend – I mean I would have to be a dumb girl to NOT love my childhood. Did I mention he took me to Burger King and McDonald’s and would sit with me at the table, and just talk to me about my “life”.

I was between the ages of 3-7 years old. My life revolved around my cat, toys and cartoons. Thank you for listening to me Pappa!

OKAY THIS IS TURNING INTO A FATHER’S DAY POST, WHEN THAT’S NOT THE INTENT. The intent of this post is how when you are getting married so many people feel like it’s  “MY DAY” and I wanted to remind everyone, it is “your day”, but it is also your parents day, and, by proxy, your in-laws day too!

By recognizing that the day is shared, I think you can better understand why it is important for others to have a say, and why it is important to just be “chill” and “cooperative”.

Marriage for me was about me becoming a part of my husband’s family, and my husband becoming a part of my family. I have been blessed to have parents on both sides that understand this, and support this concept.

SO NOW- THE KICKER: THINGS DURING THE WEDDING PLANNING PROCESS AND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY ARE NOT GOING TO GO YOUR WAY. CALM DOWN. THINK ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE. BE CHILL.

Your wedding day is ONE DAY. Although, I do believe it should be a memorable day in the best of ways, I also VEHEMENTLY believe it should not be the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. You have another (inshAllah) 50-70 years on this earth, this is one event, that will occur on one day for approximately 4 hours, which amounts to 240 minutes. Each minute will fly by and the event will end, however the relationships formed will last a lifetime.

By remembering how fleeting your wedding day is and how permanent the relationships are,  I feel like you will tread carefully when “bickering” or getting “mad” – because at the end of the day you want to make sure that YOU are the type of person that values a relationship, more than you value any color scheme or center piece. If you are not that type of person, then you really need to evaluate “who” you are and “what” really matters – and understand that if you cannot compromise on something as simple as a center piece, then you probably should not be getting married.

So when you are planning, think about 10 -15 things on your SUPER HARD TO COMPROMISE LIST. After figuring out what those things are it’ll be easier to be “flexible” on the other items, since you’ll know that when you first started the process you didn’t really care about all the other stuff, and if your mom or mother in law really wants  a certain arrangement or wants to work with a certain planner you’ll be fine and thankful that they got that detail covered!

The most important advice that I can give anyone planning a wedding is be open about your budget and respect your budget – do not be embarrassed about it. Anyone who makes you feel weird about your budget is either (i) immature, or (ii) should not be invited to your wedding. If there is something you REALLY WANT, I promise you can make it fit it into your budget if you get creative, or cut out dumb stuff. Lastly, there are better things to get a loan for— like for starters: a home, higher education, or saving that line of credit just in case you really need it in the future. Using it on your wedding is not a good look (and really low brow).

I would love to answer any all questions you may have – feel free to ask below! Also, I will be sharing this post on THE SHAADI SHOP’S BLOG. If you haven’t already, please  follow The Shaadi Shop  on Instagram at – https://www.instagram.com/theshaadishop/  !

 

 

 

 

 

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Death: All That Comes, Must Go.

I feel like I write a lot about religion, because religion is so near and dear to me. I pray my future kids, husband, friends, coworkers and acquaintances can feel as close to a feeling as I feel. It makes the inside of me tremble just writing it, and honestly can get my tears ducts spouting if I think about that feeling for a  few seconds more.

I love feeling connected to higher calling. That being said, lately, I have been thinking about something that we all will go through: DEATH.

Death scares me, because as close as I feel to religion and understanding it, I feel just as far from understanding “death”.   As a believer, I know where all my eggs should be when I think about death; Islam provides me with guidance. But for some reason, it sits a funny way with my soul. I cannot get my self to feel comfortable with it. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to get comfortable with it, I think it is just something I have to accept.

I have to be thankful that I fear it, and that it constantly reminds me to make the most of all of my relationships in this world. Death reminds me to spend a few extra minutes each day talking to my mom and checking in with my dad, it reminds me to hug my husband extra tight and to make sure I look into his eyes, it reminds me that I should enjoy cheesecake, and also reminds me that if I want to enjoy a few extra precious moments with my loved ones I should probably put down my favorite diet drinks (which apparently aren’t that good for you – boo).

After writing all of this, I understand why we need death. It helps you appreciate “now”, because there may not be a “later”.

Also, I wanted to thank each and everyone of my readers! I don’t have too many, but I have enough to be thankful for your love and support. Writing has always been away for me to feel connected and has always allowed me to explore the deeper meaning in any event going on in my life. I hope I can inspire you to write, and to contemplate things that are uncomfortable.

Love and light.

Happy New Year!

I have never really been into the new year. I never saw it as an opportunity to “change” I honestly just saw it as another day, but this year feels different. So very, very different.

Maybe because I am married? Maybe because I am realizing “THIS IS MY LIFE”, if I want to see changes in it, then I must change. I also want to make sure that if my time on this world goes by a little faster than expected (i.e. I die), that I was trying to better myself, and was proud of where I was going and how I was transforming.

I actually feel this strong obligation to make sure I am improving myself as a person. So I want to have seven themed goals, and every day of the week (Inshallah), I want to act on one of the themes. So what are my themes for each day:

On Mondays I want to act Intentionally.

On Tuesdays I want to make sure I have done just one act of Kindness.

On Wednesdays I want to make sure I am being kind to my Body.

On Thursdays I want to Connect with a friend.

On Fridays I want to make sure I make my husband feel Special.

On Saturdays I want to get Organized.

On Sundays I want to do an act of  Rest and Recharge spiritually.

In an ideal world I am able to act on all of my goals EVERY SINGLE DAY, but like all things in life, you have to start off slowly. So for me, making sure that I follow through with JUST one themed goal on any of the given day, is easy and from there, hopefully, incorporating the other goals will be effortless. I recently heard a beauty guru say something that I absolutely loved – she said, she just wants to compare herself to who she was yesterday and make sure she is improving herself to her yesterday self. #YasminKavari

I can do that – that is easy.

My theme for the year is my Monday theme – which is to “act intentionally“.

My professional goal this year is to be “detail oriented“.

Over the new few weeks, I’ll share about what each of the above mentioned themes mean to me, however in the meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear what your themes are for the new year!

Lots of love, light and happiness.

 

A Charitable Socialite

Mother Teresa’s Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

I had a Sex in the City moment this afternoon, I was dropping off a random assort of chocolates to one of the homeless residents in downtown Atlanta. This quote often comes to mind, since I’ll never know what really happened to those goodies! All I know is – it was between God and me.

Love the Artist

I love people that use artwork to make the world a better place.  Whether it’s a young straight man painting a house rainbow colored to support freedom of love, or another young man attempting to educate the masses on a, media stigmatized, peaceful religion. We often forget to praise those who do the smallest things to help make tomorrow a little brighter for everyone else.

I want to dedicate this post all of the artists- whether they are writers, painters, photographers, producers, videographers, etc., for helping bring change through the small victories.

Love.