stress

Poof. You are an Adult: Dealing with Unpleasant People

Everyone is kind and pleasant. Right? When you grow up and think about becoming an adult, you get this false sense that everyone around you will act kindly, be pleasant, and put in their fair share of effort. As you enter the work force, most people are like this – they are helpful, kind and pleasant. However, every now and then you may encounter a thorn in your dozen roses.

Just like a thorn on a rose – you don’t throw the rose away, you just deal with it. Dealing with this unpleasant person is tough. Trust me I get it. Dealing with the issue is even tougher. It’s tough because you don’t want to seem like one of those people that is constantly complaining, or seem too sensitive, and as a woman, I have this incessant need to be liked by everyone (do people like to be disliked??), but I have learned a few things that will hopefully help you:

  1. Sometimes it is in your head. Sometimes you may think someone is acting a certain way towards you, because you are projecting your own insecurities on this person. You’re fine. The preson is fine. The thorn is actually a budding flower.
  2. Who CARES? Who cares if this person does not like you? Who cares? Let it go, and just understand that you do not like everyone and everyone will not like you. I do not like President Trump, and, frankly I am sure if he saw a picture of me, he would not like me either, but who cares – sometimes you just have to say this a million times to yourself. The “WHO CARES”  mantra should be amplified when this thorn of a person does not impact your ability to move up the ladder (i.e. if you are a doctor and a particular nurse is annoying or you’re a manager and one of your technicians isn’t that pleasant or upbeat).
  3. Tough Conversations. Sometimes it is a good idea to have tough conversations. These conversations should not be a hostile thing, and you should go into them with a positive attitude and with you knowing your faults prior to the conversation so you can hear and acknowledge the other persons issues and not be caught off guard or feel SUPER defensive when they are brought up. You should also have a plan or a rough idea of things this person and you can do to make the experience better for one another and to alleviate any potential issue that could arise in the future.
  4. Quarantine. This goes along with the “Who Cares?” point, but sometimes the best method of this is coming to terms with it, acknowledging it, and then telling yourself to limit your interaction with this individual. For example, no need for small talk -pleasantries like “Hi”& “Hello” are sufficient. Smile and head on over to your desk. After a few weeks of this, you’ll be numb to this person and their energy and it won’t bog you down!
  5. Make a Friend. Make an office friend. Seriously. Did you know that making one good friend in the office makes your experience at work 50% better. REPEAT: 50% BETTER. You can even confide about that annoyingly rude co-worker with your work friend – and one day you’ll be thankful for the the annoyingly rude co-worker that provides all of the laughs between you and your work best friend!
  6. The six (6) – Twelve (12) Month Rule. Although, I’ve been fortunate enough to never come close to encountering this rule, I imagine, if this person is your boss/supervisor, you can’t necessarily use the “Who Cares” method or the quarantine method, however you can stick it out for 6 – 12 months, reassess the situation and then jump ship. Just remember to always be kind & professional, because this person will be apart of your resume and does have the ability to say something unkind about you and this persons words can impact your future. Prior to jumping ship, obviously line up another job – but this time when you’re selecting your job, assess the environment and the people a little more carefully. LOL
  7. Kind. Kind. Kind. I get it. You’re sick of me saying “Kind” but ALWAYS REMEMBER TO NOT LET THIS PERSON CONTROL YOUR DAY, YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR THOUGHTS. You are such a wonderful person, and just because someone isn’t acting to the degree or standard of kindness that you would like them to, doesn’t give YOU THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE or to act like them. You should not let it impact your identity and who YOU are. You are above the situation and them, so act accordingly.
  8. REMEMBER. Use these unpleasant experiences to shape and monitor the way you act and react. When you are in a position of authority and one day you have a young associate or medical student, remember what it was like to be in their shoes, reflect on it and act accordingly – treat them like you would have wanted to be treated.

I hope my tips and tricks are helpful. The work place is a much better place to be when everyone is professional, plays nice, is friends and laughs. It makes waking up in the morning a little easier and makes the day go by faster. Good luck with everything friends!

Peace, Love & Laughter 🙂

JOIN ME ON MY SERIES CALLED “POOF: YOU ARE AN ADULT!”  and feel free to suggest other topics to address! I loved writing the above, even though it’s a little lengthier than what most people would prefer!

Poof. You Are an Adult: Embracing Minimalism

Hi Friends,

So during the months of October and November of 2016, I had the BIGGEST burden on my shoulders: I was packing my Atlanta life up and moving to Kansas City. As you know, moves are NEVER as simple or easy, but this move was a little trickier since I was moving from my very own 1 bedroom 1 bath condo to a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo.

My place. You’re probably wondering, “Whats the big deal? You now have another room and bathroom?” Although, the prior statement is true, the sheer size of my Atlanta place came with SO MUCH STORAGE SPACE. For example, I had a full size pantry, a walk-in closet, a linen closet, big bathroom with 6 pull out drawers, and a coat closet. Yup. I was cozy. Yup. I had filled everything up to the brim. Yup. I still used so many of those space bags for my seasonal clothes and linens.

His place. My husband’s place was nice. “Pent House” LOL. I mean it technically is the pent house, but by no means is it a pent house. It is just a regular unit in his building that is on the top floor. The view is great, the kitchen has an awesome large granite block to make preparing food and eating meals awesome and welcoming, we both have nice sized walk-in closets (same size as my old place) and we each have our own bathrooms. That being said, our bathrooms are super small, we don’t have the extra pantry or coat closet, and  both of the bedrooms are smaller. We use one room as the office and the other as our primary bedroom.

What’s the problem again? So the problem was/is that I had SO MUCH CRAP and I was keeping things for the sake of “keeping memories” or keeping clothes that I would “one day wear”.

Minimalism. One day out of know where it seems, along came this idea of cutting things down and minimalism. I probably stumbled across the idea of minimalism  when I Youtubed a de-cluttering my closet video, and then I became enthralled by them and needed to watch more and more. I, by no means, relinquished all of my goods, but I did let go of a SUBSTANTIAL amount of things.  It felt AWESOME.  Here is a list of reasons why I love MINIMALISM and why I hope you will embrace it as well:

  1. Unflattering. I have said this in a million other posts, but love those that love you, and get rid of those items that you do not love and that you do not love. What does this mean – it means, if you KNOW something in your closet is UNFLATTERING, then let it go.  Also, if something has bleach stains or holes in it let it go (super easy trick of initial letting things go).
  2. Commitment Phob Bag. If you are having issues letting go, get a nice brown bag or large plastic bag (even a garbage bag if you can’t find something that fits the bill for the earlier items) and place it in your closet. Go through your clothes that you haven’t worn in the past year or so, and literally put it in this bag, and tell yourself, that if you do not get it out of this bag within 6 months or a 12 months then you know its okay to donate.
  3. Declutter your closet. Declutter your life. When I was in college and later in life, and I always found the act of decluttering to be incredibly symbolic. When I faced tough situations in life (transitional phases), I would always clear out ANY AND ALL old reminders as a way for me to make room for new memories and new reminders. The process of letting it go physically, enabled me to let it go mentally.
  4. Be Selective. Next time you go shopping be INCREDIBLY selective about what you buy. I am SUPER into buying a few quality items (at a cost) that I will wear a 1,000 times, then buying a ton of cheap items that I will wear 3 times. I treat my clothes gently (AKA: cold water wash, hang dry, and only wash when needed). What is the point of having fast fashion & cheap items, when you only wear them a few times and then a month from now you’re like, “This doesn’t fit well”, or “After I washed it the items looks weird”. You’re better off buying something that LOOKS amazing on you, so that you know when you wear it you’ll look and feel your best.
  5. MAKEUP/SKIN CARE/HAIR CARE.  You do not need a million products. You don’t. Use what you have – FINISH IT ALL UP. Seriously – those dumb samples– just finish them – you don’t need to save them for a trip you’ll go on in 3 months and 3 days. If you do need the samples then, you can run out and grab them – but as for now finish your junk up. Also, MAKE UP PALETTES – I get that you want to own the latest palettes, but really think hard about the purchase before doing so. Like so many girls – I have enough palettes to where if any new palettes come – I could some how assemble it based off the palettes I’ve already purchased.  Make up goes bad – don’t do dumb impulse buys. JUST DON’T.
  6. Now that you have let stuff go. Don’t run to the store to fill up this space. Keep it empty. Did you know that the more stuff you have the more stress you feel. Keeping things simple, will allow you to be less stressed (its apparently proven). This is also great on your wallet too! I feel bad that I came to these realizations later in life, since I am pretty sure I could have saved my parents a nice chunk of change, had I come to this realization sooner.
  7. PRACTICE ALL OF THE ABOVE. You know, I don’t have the latest make-up products or the trendiest clothes, but I do have a staple camel colored cashmere vest that I love (and I will be wearing it 5 years from now), I have block heels that are comfortable and cute (I can wear them to work and out to a nice dinner), and I have the cutest quilted black bag (that will never go completely out of style). I am a classic girl (okay – some may say basic). Although, your counter may be, “I don’t want to be like everyone else” my rebuttal to you would be, “Your clothes are apart of your identity, and should not be your identity.”  You are so much more then the cotton, wool, cashmere, leather and polyester draped around your body, you have real thoughts and you can take real action – people should know you for your acts of kindness and generosity, and not the fact that you are sporting a cold-shoulder top this summer or will be showing some side-boob.  (DEUCES).

I have really enjoyed embracing minimalism. It is a lifestyle I am fortunate enough to choose. I know that if my husband and I ever fell on hard times, we would be fine and still look cute with all of our quality items

If you want to know more about minimalism, then feel free to check out the following YouTube videos:

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGItVvYRKE4
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0dTdJTHTIk
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRClCeB_4ZQ

LOVE, PEACE & HAPPINESS,

Maheen

Stressed Out? EMBRACE IT!

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My pretty little kitty is relaxing away, while the world around her is stressing out!

 I am sorry I have been so slack about writing, but my parents are moving to Stuttgart, Germany for a year! Although I am incredibly excited about their future adventures, there is a ton of chores and donations that need to be made prior to them leaving. I have been furiously packing, cleaning, and donating for the past few days.

On to more important things – a few days ago I read an AWESOME article in my Oprah Magazine (July 2014 issue).  The article was about stress & how to combat it and reframe it Navy SEAL style!   I thought I would share/summarize the four points in the article, since we can all learn a few things about combating stress.

  1. Prepare for Battle. Think about all of the possible outcomes of your stressful situation and how you would deal with them. For example, do you have a meeting with your boss tomorrow? What is the worse thing your boss could say? What could your boss say to make you feel uncomfortable? Prepare by coming up with a response, or telling yourself to stay silent and not make up excuses.
  2. Talk Yourself Up. Positive self talk is INCREDIBLY important. So you did not land the promotion – you’re still amazing – duh. You’re beautiful, confident, smart, hardworking and are really good at analyzing The Bachelorette (LOL). Make yourself laugh, and think about how you’re contributing positively to the world – (I see you recycling)!
  3. Embrace the Suck. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POINT.  I’m going to quote the article because it could not have been said in a better way: “‘When the weather is foul and nothing is going right, that’s when I think, Now we’re getting someplace!’ . . .the . . . suckiest moments are when most people give up; the resilient ones spot a golden opportunity to surpass their competitors . . .  ‘it’s one thing to be an excellent athlete when the conditions are perfect,’ . . . ‘But when the circumstances aren’t so favorable, those who have stronger wills are more likely to rise to victory.”
  4. Take a Deep Breath.  Breathe in four counts. Breathe out four counts.  It will calm you down, and allow you to open up to more intuitive thoughts! I love taking deep breaths. I learned that deep breathing can even help minimize pain –ladies remember to breathe when you’re getting all waxed up, or doing a difficult workout set at the gym.  Deep breathing works well when you can tell you’re feeling emotional too — and trust me I know this from first hand experience.

I hope you’re able to take away something from my small post & I hope next time you’re stressed out you tell yourself, “Bring it on!”

Talk to you later!